Q: Why most Chinese does not understand privacy?
Why most Chinese does not understand an individual's relationship status is personal privacy and it is considered rude to keep asking about it?
They say it is called polite to ask, how ridiculous they are!
If you are annoyed and tell them to stop. They will just attack you.
While on the book and media, they keep saying
If you live in a village, this is par for the course.
Different cultures have different views on privacy -- different rules on a lot of things, actually. When in Rome...
yeah, lack of privacy here is sooooo odd compared to the US.... personally I am private by nature and prefer the US (Western-world) model.
I understand culture difference. But it is not great they attack me after I refused to reveal my privacy
If you live in a village, this is par for the course.
I never really had a problem with people asking irritating questions because that's just the culture but when I choose not to answer, or give an evasive answer obviously avoiding the question and people still persist... that's when I look for a way out of the conversation and plan on avoiding them whenever possible after that.
Learn to take a hint people !!
Viki87:
Most Chinese, especially the villager, are not smart enough to take a hint. They care so much about other's privacy, will keep trying till they get an answer, which is none of their business.
Stiggs:
I don't think it's that they're stupid, it's just a culture thing.
Me me me... I want to know everything about that person's life so they should tell me. Even if the asker wasn't oblivious to how the other person is feeling which they most likely are, it wouldn't matter because... me me me. Not always obviously but often enough that it's something you can expect to be common place.
Thinking about how one's actions might affect others isn't really a Chinese thing.
Often I think the personal questions and comments are a form of passive aggression though. Any time I got that vibe from people I'd usually put a big smile on and get passive aggressive right back at them. If you get the feeling they're trying to be arseholes Viki, be an arsehole right back at them. If they're just doing the only thing they know then don't hold it against them, it's not their fault.
Was it intentionally ... PulSartre:
Once at a time icniff you ought to give Vicky what is hers just as Stiggs did with his sound answer. You don't need to keep her in the corner of a presumed earned stigma, becuase she is well stigmatized on this site, however she has learned to ignore more than us Westerners the Echina naggings at her. C'mon you must give the respect this time. You're better than that.
Viki87:
Most of them just doesn't know it is impolite to ask personal question. Just super annoying, asking me everyday, nonstop. Today the ladies kept telling me, you should find Chinese men. Don't think of marrying foreign man. Weird Villagers. I told them it is a personal preference, but they just do not stop pushing me to give up the idea of marrying a foreigner. Super weird and annoying, if I act mad at them, they will call me rude and the rumors will spread in the village talking bad about me and they all will start isolating me. I had enough bullshit in this village. It is their stupid culture but not mine. In big city like Shanghai, it gets better, people still ask about private question but if you give hint that you do not want to reveal, they usually stop. The government should give education lesson to tell them what is called privacy and people should respect that. Chinese school never had privacy education.
Stiggs:
So is making up a story about people and then it becomes 'true'.
Not in a village, but in a new community I had just moved into....
I was walking past a gaggle of old ladies and they all stopped talking to stare at me as I went past and then they started asking each other questions about me. Where's he from etc etc. Turns out - according to them - I was American.
A few weeks later someone in the local market veggie market said hello... I heard you're from Meiguo... and when I said nope, I'm from NZ...
but my friend said you're American
No, New Zealand.
But, everyone says you're American....
Nope, NZ.
I'm pretty sure in his mind he thought I was wrong cos, how could EVERYONE else be wrong.
I found out later according to local gossip I also have kids in NZ and I was looking for a Chinese wife. It's a weird feeling being the last person in the world to know about my own life situation.