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Q: Why is my wife so surprised that I don't beat her?
Apparently in her QQ groups, most of the wives are battered. Even many girls who married Americans (most of them seem to be Chinese men who became U.S. citizens) end up being beaten - at least that's what she tells me.
What the hell is up with domestic violence in China?
Wife beating here is normal, in fact it's the husband's responsibility to beat the wife every once a while just to show who wears the pants. However, things are slowly changing as more and more people travel overseas to work, study and live. Those who return are more confident and don't accept old customs such as wife beating.
Three words, three words to trump logic, reason, science, or common sense. Three words to rule your world, three world to rule your life, do not think, just accept, accept these three words:
"IT IS TRADITION"
coineineagh:
The one ring you rue the day you put it on. One ringing in your ears from the smacking of your face, and in the darkness silence them.
That's the great Kong zi or Confucius.
He is a wise man and told the Chinese men that they should beat their children and wives every three days to maintain order so that outrageous requests are not made.
Also, Chinese men are pretty insecure AND as sick as it sounds... it tells the females that the males still care. Females expect their husbands to cheat on them or find a xiao san if their husbands are mad at them. So if they beat them then it is a sign (in their minds) that they still love them and care (or else why get angry? why not just leave?).
Also, every stupid Chinese drama has someone crying every 2 minutes and someone getting slapped. Then the woman screams dumb crap like "ni da wo... ni da wo! aaaaaaah!" and about 5 minutes later they make up and then he slaps her again.
So that's how women are educated in China... what a messed up bunch of bullshit lol
DrMonkey:
@Hunny I got a The Annalect at home, and yes, he says that verbatim.
Robk:
I got down voted for telling the truth.
See, so many people can't handle the truth! Jack Nicholson knows his shit!
I had this debate with my wife (Chinese) a couple of times : if we hear that our neighbor beats his wife, should we intervene ? I told her that I would see the guy and ask him to stop it, and eventually call the cops. My wife was strongly against my opinion : she considers it's private matters and that we shall not intervene, even if the woman takes a serious beating. If such a mentality is common, then I can understand that most people feels they have a free hand to beat a relative : no consequences to bear, nobody will judge you and shame you.
In my country (France), I can be attacked in justice if it can be proved that I knew somebody was seriously in danger but did nothing. Here, from the few cases I saw first hand, those matters are handled by the relatives, talking to the couple, if they can be bothered to do so.
I found that map:
My wife is sure I will cheat on her. Based on her past boyfriends, family around her, I can see why she thinks this. But she is not surprised about the lack of physical abuse. She has made it very clear that she'd walk out the door at first slap.
Hulk:
My wife thought this as well. When we got in fights, she thought I'd go fuck another woman. Apparently that's really common in China... sigh. Women are taught to expect infidelity.
Hulk:
It took a while to convince her I'm not gonna go fuck another chick.
I am not sure, but that is messed up, maybe because you swell up, turn green and smash things when you get angry.
too bad your wife is not from shanghai, if you was in shanghai you will be working to provide for her and also play the role of the housewife and on top of that she will manage your wages hahah from what ive heard shanghai women are really bossy and the men are scared of their wives
Eorthisio:
Shanghai women are flat anyway, the only men who like flat women are pedobears.
Hulk:
Eorthis? Uh? No.
A woman being flat doesn't make her any less, and there's nothing wrong with loving a flat woman. My wife isn't flat, but I take offense to people who suggest things like that.
Pedos are attracted to children. Women aren't children.
i guess if you look for violence you will find it. china is a large country. surely you can't speak for the whole of china?
DrMonkey:
It's not just a binary statement ie. "happens" / "does not happens". Of course, it happens everywhere, But with which frequency ? Well, it's about half married males that at some point beat their wives in China, and it's far from being the lowest rate worldwide. This rate come from *several* studies. China Daily, an official, government run Chinese newspaper, mention that 50% ratio
http://english.peopledaily.com.cn/90882/8238890.html
Whether domestic abuse is a crime or not is not an old debate at all
http://www.medindia.net/news/China-in-Plans-to-Penalize-Wife-Beating-90343-1.htm
cruising:
i dont really trust statistics. i mean, how does that work. ...in any case, the attitude toward hitting is that it is more acceptable in asia than in the west, i guess, but there are also a lot of warm and caring and nonviolent families in china, whos to say these arent the majority. such things are hard to measure. it really does depend on who you meet.
This is yet another element of Chinese society that is completely screwed up.
The people are kept down and most of them don't have the wherewithal to even know it's happening.
I don't give a stuff what Confucius said thousands of years ago....any skerrick of common sense at all will tell you it's barbarian to assault women and children.
The men are emasculated and pathetic baijiu skoffing egotistical cowardly drones.
Not all of them.
Most.
