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anonymous
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Q: why so many foreigners think it's easy to get a chinese girlfriend?

some foreign friends recently told me that Chinese girls only love handsome guys and money.

i mean, come on! 

yeah, some girls ........well, you know........

but, if you find a nightclub girlfriend, dude, no need to complain, ok

it's not easy to get a good girlfriend, i mean, not only in china, all the world

dude, think about it

please do not say Chinese girls what what what

we still have a lot of good girls in china,ok.

10 years 1 week ago in  Relationships - China

 
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Emperor

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OK ...

"Why do so many foreigners think it's easy to get a Chinese girlfriend?"

Probably because it's easy to get a Chinese girlfriend.

ouyangwenting:

ok

probably

10 years 1 week ago
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Samsara:

Ask me one on sports next time.

10 years 1 week ago
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10 years 1 week ago
 
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I agree with China. As a British male here in Guangzhou I've found it is quite easy to get a Chinese girlfriend. The key issue for me is getting a girlfriend that is worth keeping (& from here side gettign a boyfriend that is worth keeping!).

 

I've dated 3 Chinese ladies for relatively long periods of time in the 4 years I've lived here. First one I stupidly broke up with as I wasn't ready to commit, 2nd one was too young for me and I was stupid (& lustful enough) to keep up the relationship with her for too long. 3rd one is the love of my life and we get married in 3 weeks! Smile

ouyangwenting:

thank you for sharing. 

10 years 1 week ago
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royceH:

Good luck with the marriage.  What style of wedding have you planned?

 

10 years 1 week ago
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Hotwater:

I asked my partner what sort of wedding she wanted...did she want the formal photo shoot? No.....did she want the big meal? No (because she hates all the crap that comes with who to invite, having to give then hung Bao back another time, etc)......Did she want just a meal with family? No....because there would be trouble if she didn't invite the 3rd cousin removed who she hadn't seen for 20 years!

 

So.....what do you want I asked? Her reply.....get the wedding book & have a honeymoon somewhere. We've done it the opposite way round....honeymoon was last week....weekend in Macau seeing the Rolling Stones (great gig!) & then a chilled time in Bali. 

 

We're off to her hometown in 2 weeks, I'll meet her parents at last, get the book & then a few days driving round Jiangxi so she can show me round where she is from.  

 

 

10 years 1 week ago
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9 years 49 weeks ago
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Is it me or does the op sound like a chinese dude dude dude dude. Once you have figured out the landscape it is easy to find a girlfriend. I do not mean a pay to play girl or a bar girl. Many chinese women are fed up with chinese guys for good reason. Chinese guys treat women like property and offer no satisfaction.

If you want a good gf first start seeing women as people and your equal. Do not try to control her. Do not try to buy her. Do not make a fuss about her past.
Next you must make yourself into a good man (women do not like boys) being a man does not mean earn a lot of money.
Allow room to express herself sexually . Ask her what you can do to meet her needs without judging her or looking down on het.

Samsara:

Gee, I don't know, crimo. That sounds like a lot of work.

 

Shouldn't boys just make some extremely superficial romantic gestures and lie about their family's wealth?

10 years 1 week ago
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WCG:

Crim, good points.  I would argue that western men and chinese women get along quite nicely.  Chinese women tend to look for security (financial).  A man that won't beat her.  A man that is willing to be more openly romantic (spontaneously send her flowers, not just on holidays). Western men mostly are relieved that her expectations are easier to meet than western women back home because of their financial independence.  I guess, the real answer to the author's question is because western women are harder to please and have higher expectations because of their financial independence. 

10 years 1 week ago
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sorrel:

@ WCG

such generalisations about 'western women' 

question:
would a 'western' women go 'sa jiao' if their significant other refuses to buy them a pair of shoes?

do Chinese girls know the meaning of the word 'compromise' ?

 

 

10 years 1 week ago
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expatlife26:

Yeah i'm with Sorrel here.

 

If you can't meet the expectations of western women that's your own fault!

 

 

10 years 1 week ago
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xinyuren:

WCG has a point.  It's always misleading to generalize, but it's true that in general, Chinese have lower standards than the West.  This includes the girls.  But this also works in reverse.  It's very difficult  (very!) to find a Chinese girl with the same social refinement of a Western one.  You will find a drop dead beauty who eats like a cow, unable to compromise (thanks, sorrel), and probably is helpless in the kitchen, with a mop, or with children.  She will be in her element in China, but if you take her back home you will have to either train her, or put up with a few whispers behind your back.

10 years 1 week ago
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Nessquick:

WCG, it was for me much easier and manytimes more pleasant to get@stay with "western" woman than with chinese one. but good try ;)

 

10 years 1 week ago
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expatlife26:

I just hate that "Chinese girls are better because they have lower standards!" argument.

 

There is no dignity in that statement.

 

It's like a washout NBA player saying that China Basketball Association is better because the level of play is lower.

 

 

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"please do not say Chinese girls what what what

we still have a lot of good girls in china,ok."

 

It is difficult to understand you. Are you saying Chinese girls who date foreigners are bad girls?

Or do you not understand  English enough to know what "It is easy to find a girlfriend" means?"

 

The real question you are asking is, why can't you find a girlfriend.

If you hate women, look down on women or are judgmental towards women  you will be hard pressed to find a woman willing to put up with you. That has nothing to do with nationality, many westerners come from countries where we were taught to respect women. When we travel to countries like India and China (places that encourage foul attitudes towards women), women gravitate towards us because we treat them better. 

I have talked to many students about this and for some reason males here are incapable of viewing females as equals. My words just go over their heads. Even in class I hear, "girls are disabled", "girls can't ....." and they are too stupid to notice the reactions of the female students. 

You want a girlfriend, be different. 

expatlife26:

Agreed, blaming others for your own lack of romantic success is the hallmark of someone who women just plain don't like.

 

I feel the same way about expats who put down the women from their homes. The story always breaks down to "The pretty ones don't like me"; as opposed to "I just couldn't stand every beautiful girl throwing herself at me I had to get out of there!"

 

I think a good analogy are white guys in the US who think every pretty girl just wants to date a black guy; statistically not true at all based on studies of behavior on dating sites (a good way to see what people do in a semi-anonymous setting rather than what they say). Maybe a specific girl a specific guy likes happens to be attracted to a different race, which like all unrequited love really sucks, but if you aren't what the women you like are looking for, the women aren't going to change for you. 

 

Successful people spend a lot more time looking in the mirror (haha, metaphorically of course) than they do pointing fingers.

10 years 1 week ago
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No long answer necessary. Samara is 100% correct. 

 

I can get a girlfriend in China easier than I can find a good beer. I am NOT kidding. 

 

It is easier for foreigners to get girlfriends than for foreigners to find deodorant. 

 

I AM NOT KIDDING! 

Nessquick:

It is easier to find Chinese girlfriend than kitchen for 2 people ! I am not kidding :D

10 years 1 week ago
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coineineagh:

Easier than finding human kindness, fair treatment by the law, cheese or butter. Cheaper too, until you get married that is.

10 years 1 week ago
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Shining_brow:

Sorry, I have to disagree with the 'or butter' comment... I find butter pretty easy to get where I am (granted, I haven't tried to really pick up much out here :p)

10 years 1 week ago
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Jasonhuang2014:

u r a stud

9 years 49 weeks ago
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10 years 1 week ago
 
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There are simply more women in China than there are people, animals, birds, monkeys etc in my country. I find Chinese women very friendly and easy to talk with. That same woman in my country wouldn't say hello to my monkey.

mike168229:

Have you got a monkey? I'm jealous.

10 years 1 week ago
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ouyangwenting:

you are rightsmiley

9 years 27 weeks ago
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This is a genuine case of cultural difference.

 

Western guys don't have the pressure to get married. They are expected to have fun. But Chinese guys have a rigid life plan they are expected to follow.

 

Chinese girls are the victims of  the above mentioned life plans, but some fight back and want to have fun before they are summoned to the alter by their parents.

 

To be honest, the OP would probably not want to marry a Chinese woman who dates westerners...... probably " too strong" for him wink.

 

 

 

 

9 years 27 weeks ago
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I've been in only a few nightclubs in China and always left, the music is always way too loud, loud enough to cause brain damage, this explains club girls.

ouyangwenting:

sorry, never been to a club, just heard from other people.

9 years 27 weeks ago
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Governor

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On a side note, OP, I take it you are probably practicing English by watching movies/series. This is a forum, your audience is not expecting subtitles, no need to go oral, and please avoid stuff like "Dude, I mean, come on, etc...". Doesn't make you look more nothing but like Chinese trying too hard.

 

Now, 'bout your question. Everything been answered already.

ouyangwenting:

you think you know everything huhsmiley

9 years 27 weeks ago
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Shifu

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If the OP wants a serious answer, I think theres a couple reasons for this...

 

The first is just supply and demand. It's NOT that every chinese girl just wants to date a foreigner, even if they are losers by western standards, it's that there IS a significant population of girls who both speak decent english and like foreign guys. And that population is a lot bigger than the number of foreign guys in China. So for that girl, you see a single foreign guy and you just go up to them and say "Oh, you're so handsome!" or something like that to make it clear that you are interested. Yeah probably most Chinese girls aren't interested in dating your average foreigner here...but the ones that are very aggressive about it. 

 

The other is economics...it's not that every girl here is a gold digger but when life is so hard and poor here for your average person, it is a statistical truth that even the worst paid ESL teachers still have it MUCH MUCH better than a farmer, factorer or migrant. You don't have to be a gold digger to not want to be poor. 

 

I've never dated a chinese girl myself, but I see how the ones that are interested in foreigners go out of their way to make it clear they are available, whereas the Italian girl I would be interested in dating I would have to approach and chat up myself. If the stereotypical foreign "loser" that OP is probably imagining says he can get 'any girl in china' he's definitely wrong...for one thing unless he speaks flawless chinese that's 98% of the dating pool eliminated right there. Plus there are millions of Chinese guys with better prospects. It's just that there are enough girls who want a foreign boyfriend/speak good english that it seems like they can have anyone.

 

 

xinyuren:

agree with you in all but your last point.   You need not speak good Chinese to grab a local with no english skills.  About half the girls I dated couldn't speak English and my Chinese is rudimentary at best.  That's half out of 16 or so girls.  Language barrier made no difference.  Girls like men who know how to roll. 

10 years 1 week ago
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Nessquick:

yep ;)

 

10 years 1 week ago
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expatlife26:

Haha, that's funny and I stand corrected!

10 years 1 week ago
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Shifu

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Why it's easy? Well, thanks to you Chinese guys.

ouyangwenting:

good answer

9 years 27 weeks ago
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Shifu

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My wife get many times the same question from different Chinese men :

 Why did you find foreigner ? why do not have some fellow countrymen ?

I never understand what she replied, but they do not asked back again...

Pascalou:

Probably because she wanted to be treated nicelycrying

9 years 51 weeks ago
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Governor

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who knows dude .....

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10 years 1 week ago
 
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It's because there in nothing anyone in China wants more than to leave China. The easiest way for girls to do that is to marry a foreigner and hope that will mean new passport. 

 

Oh, we are of course also generally more generous lovers, super rich and can do amazing party tricks like drink cold water. 

expatlife26:

The strange part is that it's not even automatic getting to move to the west just because they marry a westerner.

 

You have to prove a certain level of income/savings to sponsor a bride out of fears that lonely, but indigent men will bring in women to go on welfare.

10 years 1 week ago
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Nessquick:

yeah, cold water trick.. That's the reason behind us together :D

10 years 1 week ago
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10 years 1 week ago
 
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Probably because it is.

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10 years 1 week ago

In China I feel like Alice In Wonderland... NOTHING is ever what it first appears to be!

 
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Shifu

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the answer is simple, because it is, nothing more!! hate it or love it, that's the naked truth

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10 years 1 week ago
 
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Governor

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I don't see chinese boys any romantic ..

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9 years 52 weeks ago
 
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Shifu

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The hard part is getting rid of them.

9 years 49 weeks ago
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9 years 51 weeks ago
 
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Governor

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Charlie B,U R a stud

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9 years 49 weeks ago
 
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It's simple..if you are white, you are in luck, and if you are yellow like me..get an ultra fast vpn and lotion ready... 

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Governor

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ye.. I get it man.. I really do...

9 years 49 weeks ago
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