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Q: Will the staring ever end?
Maybe you will think this is a silly question, but I don't mean stares from people I've never seen before, or when I go somewhere that I usually don't go. What I mean is that I've been teaching at this school since September, and I still get many stares every day. It might be bothering me more than usual, I don't know. Lately it has made me feel more self conscious. After all, this is the time of year that many women begin to think about summer and getting in shape for bikini season. In the places where you go to regularly, do the stares lessen? Are there any places you go to that they no longer stare?
12 years 3 weeks ago in Health & Safety - China
No it will not,i am the same sometimes it really bothers me,just try too take it as a compliment
I am stared at a lot less in Beijing than I was in Guilin. And if I went to some of the smaller towns outside of Guilin, not only stares but and entourage would follow.
Normally I dont mind it, and will even smile and say hello to the smaller kids. but yes, there are days where it does get to me too. I have some friends (western) that it REALLY cheeses them off, even though they have been here for more than 3 or 4 years.
Some just never get used to it.
How about the "combo"? You know, stares and giggles?
Jnusb416:
Often, and from guys or girls, doesn't seem to matter. But the girls tend to stare less.
Strangely enough, I am (was) kinda getting used to it, however, last week, two students and I went out for dinner at a little local diner behind the school. After five minutes on the street, they kept saying, "everyone is staring at you! Did you know that?" I casually commented that it happens everywhere I go. When we entered the resturant, of couse, every head turned, almost in unison. It kinda freaked them out, but I'm so used to it by now, it really doesn't bother me too much, unless they start to invade my personal space, which has happen before.
Sometimes, people stop right by the table I'm eating at and just watch...So, at least for me, it hasn't stopped yet.
Jnusb416:
That reminds me of a time I went somewhere, maybe just walking down the street, and my friend Rose noticed how many people stared at me. She was more upset about it than I was, because it happens all the time. I guess that was the first time she really took notice.
GuilinRaf:
My last girfriend would get REALLY angry. Sometimes she would even yell at them. Eventually, she pretended not to notice, but it would still cheese her off.
Xpat.John:
Once my wife and I were in a restaurant and a guy came over to our table, sat down and proceeded to light up a cigarette. My wife went ballistic on him. The guy claimed the he just wanted to "watch the foreigner eat". He actually didn't see anything wrong with what he was doing.
As pissed as I was, it was hard not to laugh at the absurdity of it all.
giadrosich:
"The guy claimed the he just wanted to 'watch the foreigner eat'".
Now see, that is where the fool in me would come out, and I'd have to do something stupid, like stick the kwaizi up my nose.
One of the things I like to do with crawfish is pick one up and seperate the claw, clamping it on my nostiril and yelling "Ahhhhhhhh!!!!!", like the thing has come alive and pinched me. This usually deters any further curiosity, because who wants to be at the same table with a crazy foreign guy!! 
I have a daughter,who looks more European than Chinese,but speaks Chinese like a native since shes been here since she was 1 year old,people just stare and call her loawai speaks Chinese,she just says to them its not nice too stare but in Chinese,makes me smile every time
You haven't asked a silly Question
we all ask ourselves the same thing at least 3 times a day.
However in your case maybe its just boys checking you out.
us males are the all the same anywhere in the world hehehehehe
enjoy the attention and have fun with it
The real question is...... what happened that led to such a great number of these people being so simple-minded ? Yes, staring at the foreigner is a side effect of simple-mindedness.
I have circumnavigated our pretty blue marble and fail to recall another land in which 'outsiders' were stared at to the degree one encounters in China.
yes. Females are typically more polite than Males.
Staring really gets to me in the smaller places of China not so much in Beijing. But walking the street seeing people just stop mid conversation just to stare at me
.
Do have a trick I use sometimes when not in the mood for the stares, stare back at them and say "Ni kan shenma" usually stops the staring
You've gotta have some perspective on this. For most Chinese, particularly outside the three big centers, it is still almost a once in a lifetime event to see a foreigner doing everyday things in everyday Chinese settings. Where I live, foreigners are 0.001% in a population of 5 million. In most cases it's a combination of curiosity, nervousness, surprise and perhaps adoration that draws people to fix their gaze on you. The vast majority of ordinary Chinese don't have the experience of decades of really close cultural integration, and this is how they gain understanding. It's a gross misstatement to say "staring at the foreigner is a side effect of simple-mindedness."
The converse would be: when I go to the village of my in-law's family, I am fascinated by the people who live there. They are often old and going about their daily tasks, which are so different to mine. I stop to observe them; I want to talk/ask questions; I want to see what food they're preparing or take a photo. This is intellectual curiosity and no Chinese would turn around and yell at me for wanting to interact.
nope, don't think it will never stop. at this point i would be worried if they didn't stare so much. I go to the same 4 places weekly and people have stared like I have 3 legs for about 2 years now...
some days i pretend i'm a celebrity, others i wear shades and ignore the world...
whatever works and gets you through and helps you be comfortable in your our skin.
Yes some of the hot spring places allow you to wear limited clothing so people will likely not stare at you. If people are staring at your school it's probably because you may have had something out of place. Sometimes people do wonder what you wear and if what you wear is something to stare at then there you go.
Funny Chinese women can't take being stared at, so stare back,, watch an old Bela Lugosi movie for another style you can use, Chinese can't take vampire eyes.
GuilinRaf:
Dont forget ! For the "Full Vampire Effect" to add Beladonna!!!
just ignore them
kchur:
I could offer the people staring the exact same advice, except then they'd have a little nationalist tantrum.
When I came to Suzhou four years ago, I was the only foreigner I would ever see in my daily routine of doing things like riding the bus and walking around town. Now the foreign population has probably gone up tenfold and we're living and working in a variety of neighborhoods and industries, not just all in the international zone. The staring has stopped around here but if I go to some small town it starts up all over again and I hear excited people calling out to each other " ni kankan laowai"
Well having spent ages in Hong Kong as a westerner with full tattoo sleeves i got a lot less stares and felt like more back home, i would not have it on display as much in mainland China. So point being when a city is modernized city and diverse culture it will be come less in my opinion
