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Q: Will you live with your old parents?
Parents usually will feel loney without their children arrounded when they get old.Many young generations will not live with their parents.If your parents feel loney,will you live with them under the same roof or live in a seprated house?
This is a terrible problem for me because my mother is in England. She has one of my brothers with her and three others of her offspring in the same country, but I will always feel like i've abandoned her to some extent. I would love to live near her. Living under the same roof as her might be a problem though as there is a river of alcohol that runs through her home, and i'm trying (in vain) to keep my feet dry.
Victoria1987:
You are a good one and caring person.but hahaha...funny
In the Western world we don't live with our parents till we are 40, we get pushed out of the "nest" when we are at a ripe at around 18-22, some of us bastards younger. So enjoy the free rent, the free rice meals, and all that comes with it. I'd rather live alone, knowing my mom, god bless her.
I am waiting for that opportunity but still my father is in job..Once he will retire..I will convince him to live with me..
Victoria1987:
You are so sweat.My Australian teacher used to tell me in Australia old people are very lonely,usually children won't live with their parents.If you can find an old Australian is playing his golf,he is a lucky one already,means many are sad.
honestly no. and my parents are better off . i visit them, call them and that's enough. they have their own lives.
im not an expert on this but i bet you it wasnt like this in china before 4-2-1 problem
now grand parents have no choice but to help look after the children since someone needs to go and work and the family is much smaller
many young people do not love to live together with their pearents.they need freedom space.Though our parents have been old.the same as they.If they cant take good care of themselves i will chose live together with our parents if they wanna.
Victoria1987:
Yes,young generation don't like being controled and wanna freedom,same in China also.But parents are not perfect,they become fragile and lonely when they are old.I believe even western parents will not require their grown-up childrent tto live with them,but they are wish to live with their own children,why not we choose to live with our parents together if possible?Parents give us livies,it is nothing about you are not independant when you are live with parents.Most young generations care too much about their so called freedom.Life is not perfect,freedom is based on responsibility.If a young person gets her so called freedom and makes their parents alone,I think that is bad.
Firstly my parents have long since passed away, but even if they were not I would NOT live with them even if they were frail and needed 24/7 care.
I think this is a fundamental difference in the social cultures of China and 'The West'.
In China it appears to be expected from both the parents and the children that they will live together when the parents get old and often from as soon as the grandchildren are born. In 'The West' we value our independence a lot more highly than the Chinese appear to do.
In my case if my parents were still alive, I would still be living here in China with my wife, daughter and her family, although if they were suffering from a prolonged illness but not fatal then of course I would financially provide for their care and return to the UK as often as I could afford. If the illness was permanent then my wife and I would have to discuss our future in China and whether we needed to return to UK, either permanently or flip between both but we would live close NOT together.
The problem with the Chinese model, as I see it, is what happens if both sets of parents are old and frail? Who do you choose? Both? And if only the husbands parents who looks after the wife's parents?
Of course there are families both in China AND in 'The West' who do not follow these tendencies, there are always exceptions, both good and bad.
Victoria1987:
In china,most grown-up children won't live with their parents,parents usually live alone in their old house.Looks pathetic.Even children will visit their parents often,but still parents are living alone.
Parents usually buy children house ,car.But children just leave them alone in the old house.damn it.
I would like to have my parents live with me.My parents are getting old,I wanna give them the happiness before they pass away.
No. In China the family lives together or supports the parents. At home our parents are generally better off and do not need support. We also are more independent and don't want our parents controlling our lives.
Victoria1987:
My parents are richer than me.They have money to live a weath life.It is nothing about money to live with them,it is about caring.They don't need my support maybe,but they will sad in their heart.come on.Who will not happy with their children around them when they are old,both westerners and chinese?
TedDBayer:
I don't know about the other foreigners, but I don't like seeing my parents very often. I would not want to see them everyday.
I can please them if they want and live with them...Not a big deal to me where to live
Victoria, you really are missing a fundamental difference here,
You asked,
"Who will not happy with their children around them when they are old,both westerners and chinese?"
Well I'm sorry but in my experience about 80% of 'westerners' wont want their children living with them once they've grown up, the parent's DON'T WANT THEIR CHILDREN in the same house, we expect our kids to grow up and set up their own lives as fully independent adults. Of course we will continue to love them and hope they visit and we can see them but once they have left it is often a time for a peaceful retirement, perhaps take up that hobby or that piece of studying you had to put off while the kids were growing up.
Honestly, most (of course not all) western parents think this way, (at least in my experience in the UK).
I will live in a separated house. I'm sure that my parents would like me to visit at least a few times a year, even better if I live close enough to drive. However, even when they are very old, we will not live in the same house because they think that is not my responsibility. If they can't take care of themselves, they will probably want to be put in a home. I don't think anyone wants that to happen to them, but my parents are very responsible and plan ahead.
snowballeffect:
There was an old guy on CCTV News the other day who was so responsible he even slept in his coffin just in case.
The whole Independence thing in the western world is relatively new, or at least just within the past 70 years or so. Prior to the 1950s, someone living on their own was unheard of. We have become so focused on individuality and personal freedom that we ave become a culture obsessed with youth, and in tat obsession, disregard and disrespect old things and people.
