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Q: Will you marry someone who is not your soulmate?

I think in general most ppl don’t wanna be alone in his/her whole life. The perfect situation is to marry with their soulmates. However after 30/40 years, reality tells you soulmate is exist in somewhere you just can’t find it in your life now, and soulmate doesn’t mean you will live happily with him/her. “Love is a short sparking, life is very long” for most ppl in general.
 
Meanwhile you are tired of your circle of friends, tired of sleeping alone, and there is someone who cares you and you feel comfortable with him. Will you marry him/her?

Most of Chinese marriage are like such type. I think we can’t simply say it’s bad. I have seen many of them are pretty happy in their marriage. After all, marriage is all about compromise and responsibilities . Am I right?

Disclaimer: This is not my personal question but for some girls who have this dilemma

7 years 46 weeks ago in  Culture - Beijing

 
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it depends dose he have a house? 

most girls ive met here who are married or are getting married soon all got their boyfriends right after college, in most cases chosen by the parents. i asked some about it, they all said the same thing. they must get married soon because they are old (25 is old for them). and the guy their will marry has a good job and can provide for a family. never was love mentiond. or even considerd.  this is just from my limited experience so im not an expert. but in China im gonna say most people dont plan to marry any soulmate.

oh, to answer the question. i dont know about soulmates. but i dont think ill just marry some girl i kinda like just because im feeling lonly. i dont think ill ever get that desperate.

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7 years 46 weeks ago
 
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I am currently on the hunt for sugar mama.  Young Chinese girl with a loaded family that will buy us a house, car and pay for the wedding, and a trust fund would be nice as well....love is not necessary...in exchange I will give her pleasure (unlike local man) and a green card!

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7 years 46 weeks ago
 
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There is no such thing as soulmates. Only two mature people loving, respecting and understanding each other. 

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7 years 46 weeks ago
 
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7 billion people in the world and 1 man for each woman (the only possible match???) oops what if your soulmate is a lesbian and your a straight guy. i dont believe in the idea of a soulmate too impractical for me

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7 years 46 weeks ago
 
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I also don't believe in soulmates. I believe there are people out there who are very good for you, people who wouldn't work for you, and every other person is somewhere in between. If you find a person that fits the parameters and you like them, go for it. No one is going to be perfect, but they might be "perfect" for you.

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7 years 46 weeks ago
 
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The whole idea of a soulmate seems rather unrealistic, if not mystical, to me. 
I don't believe a person can have a soulmate just waiting to be found. I believe a 'soulmate' can arise from any fruitful and meaningful relationship. 
And if we consider the fact that relationships can't be perfect, it then goes to say, mathematically speaking, that no one on this earth can be perfect for another person. We can only approach perfection in relationships. That damn asymptote called 'perfect love' will forever be unreachable.
And it is from this situation I believe relationships derive their worth. That struggle for near perfection makes loving another person worthwhile.   
Now that I've spoken like a helpless romantic, I'd like my 4 points.

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7 years 46 weeks ago
 
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>What NileRafter said.\
 There is passion in the beginning of relationship. This will fade over time. There has to be something more to relationship. This is why so many marriages break up. passion goes. ( I think) There is nothing left, often you get tired of your mate. So just getting married for company to someone that cares, this might work. I think you could find passion, but maybe not. I could get tired of someone that l never loved hanging around very quickly. If I want just company, I have a dog and cats. This is easier and they always treat me well, always glad to see me and never blame or critize me. Now if I could just train a woman like I do my dog, I'd be happy. Especially if she doesn't mess the carpet.

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7 years 46 weeks ago
 
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OK, here's why my idea of a soulmate is different from yours (for u two out there who gave me a thumbsdown on my previous answer)

The soul mate concept is often used as an excuse for divorce. People who are unhappy in their marriage sometimes claim that they did not marry their soul mate and therefore should divorce and begin the search for their true soul mate.  If you are married, the person you are married to is your soul mate. Easy as that. 

A marriage may not be as unified and joyous as a couple wishes it to be. A husband and wife may not have the physical, emotional, and spiritual unity that they desire. But even in this instance, the husband and wife are still soul mates. A couple in such a situation needs to work on developing true “soul mate” intimacy.

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7 years 46 weeks ago
 
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Marry your best friend Smile

Well.. your best friend that you can actually live with and not want to shove their head in a toilet after two weeks. And the sex is good.

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7 years 46 weeks ago
 
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No, I would not!

But then, I'm quite content to live my life alone, travelling the world, enjoying myself, and if a girl comes along every so often that I can enjoy as well - cool!

If not, well, I'm not going to tie myself into an arrangement that is, basically, merely a legal formality which has only existed for only a few hundred or thousand years (depending on where you are).

Now, if someone DOES come along, who seems to be 'soulmate' material, then there is the possibility of marriage. Since I am already 'spiritual' (for easy definitions, I'm an 'animist', so I do actually work on that side... when I'm not a lazy bastard!), so I should already figure if it will work out or not.

I have a basic theory on marriage... I need to know who I am, where I'm going, what I'm doing... she needs to know the same about herself... we need to have a good idea of that for the other... and the way we're going needs to be basically similar. If none of the above - no go. Extreme? Yes... but so should a marriage be! Idealistic?? Sure - but as I said - I'm already content with my life as it is Smile

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7 years 46 weeks ago
 
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I don't believe in silly phrases like that. I love my wife, but don't consider her a soulmate. I consider her a woman with a good sense of humour, who cares about me and other people, who is smart and wants the same things as I want in life. 

I  learned this from my parents. Both of them are practical people, love the outdoors, they garden, fish, travel all of that together. And, in the meantime they enjoy each others' company without expecting to swoon each time they meet. 

They've built a house with their hands together, started a business that lasted till they retired, raised three kids and I've never seen them fight. 

My old man proposed to her after three months of dating. Guess he made the right choice. 

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7 years 46 weeks ago
 
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A: Going to HK would be the best bet I reckon, especially if you were loo
A:Going to HK would be the best bet I reckon, especially if you were looking for a church wedding. Chinese weddings are pretty grim IMO - you go to a barren govt dept with souless officials and navigate red tape so some guy can give you a red stamp and a marriage book. You get expensive pictures taken of you both posing in places you'd never go to in everyday life that is somehow supposed to represent your wedding, then a while later it's off to a restaurant where a game show host kind of guy makes sure it's as tacky as possible while the guests eat as fast as they can so they can leave as soon as they finish eating and gave you money. Hell, I'd go to Thailand or the Philippines and get married in Paradise.   -- Stiggs