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anonymous
Q: Wish he is just a poor language teacher in China...what if not?
So I found out the guy I like isn't a poor English teacher in China. I pretty much wish he is just a poor English teacher here so that could be easier for me.
He is a super elite instead. A blarblarblar manager in a superb big American company kinda stuff.
In a Chinese saying, " a bamboo door matches with a bamboo door, a wooden door matches a wooden one".
I think westerners have the same thoughts don't you?
I feel I'm tiny small in front of him, haha. Well, hope you guys can encourage me please 
9 years 49 weeks ago in Relationships - China
If it makes you feel anybetter. The only americans i have met could care less if your a bamboo door. Social background matters to people because of the ideologies they produce, not because of money. So if your a farmer it might cause problems but its an inter racial relationship. There will be differences anyways. Im guessing you background means nothing too him.
But im going to guess your not very hot. Sorry if its shallow, but if you were hot you wouldnt be worrying about your background to catch him. Hed be catching you. Which does make it more difficult is that hes rich, many girls will be chasing him. So it looks like your squarely in the friend zone.
The good news is you obviously dont care about his money. So try your best to show yourself and how awsome you are. If he only cares about hot, you dont want him anyways. Also it helps if your not boring in bed. Just saying!
lilichristian:
Thanks for your comment! I like what you say in some ways.
Yea, it's even unbelievable for me to see such a kind, humble, nice and professional guy is still single and open in CHINA! You know with all qualities and characters he has should get dozens of girl chasing after.
Well, I did not have much fancy thoughts about him until there was once he came up chatting with me (and two girls). Maybe I misunderstood? Maybe he just wanted to talk to the girls next to me! I'm not sure if one of us attracted him so he came up that day, or it was just a normal chit-chat for him. It's still a mystery for me.
I thought I was going to leave China so I implied how I thought in an indirect way. Not sure if it was a wrong step?
I think this other thread can help you feeling less small in front of him
http://answers.echinacities.com/question/how-much-pay-breast-enlargement...
liantohusin:
So many downvote =(, on my defense those 2 thread was next to each other when I log. I just can't resist =))
Why do you say "poor English teachers"?
Most ESL teachers make as much as Chinese in positions such as "Account Managers", "Director of Operations" and such... within the same city.
Does that mean like 99% of Chinese are poor? Is this you again Vicky? Jesus Christ! =P
lilichristian:
2 years ago,
A guy asked me about our future" What if I am just a poor English teacher in China?". I was a student and haven't stayed in China for long term at that moment. He thought he was poor and could not provide me anything. I really did not think it was a significant issue if he was poor. He was the one who ceased going further.
After 2 years,
I still do not have much wishful thinking of being with wealthy guys. I was graduated and moved to China as a fresh employee and a new comer, I really do not care what he does at all. I thought this guy (ANOTHER American guy I met in China) was just a teacher. However, he is an elite who was sent by a big American company. That makes me feel intimidating.
Not saying the foreign teachers are poor. No offense. I apologise if it offenses to any teachers here. I just quoted from the guy I mentioned above. I DO like English teachers because because they fit the Chinese matching rules for me better, haha.
Thanks for your comment!
Robk:
No problem, I am not an ESL teacher myself but I wouldn't call them "poor", haha.
You have a good attitude and seem intelligent, I am sure to this guy it may be much more important than your materialistic wealth.
Most foreigners don't really care too much about that.
"In a Chinese saying, " a bamboo door matches with a bamboo door, a wooden door matches a wooden one""
Thanks for the wisdom, anonymous! I guess you're a girl. Why would you feel small? Is him being so apparently "wealthy" that makes you feel little?
It's amazing how your post confirms the topic about girls in China. Why would you feel small at the display of his wealth? How does he "show off" that it makes you feel insignificant in his eyes?
Maybe there are too many questions, and that would require you to think. But why, not? Seriously, do think! If you find the answers, you will see that there should be other values to make you feel small, like his intelligence, his meekness, his human qualities. This is what makes a human "a super elite" human. And you know what, you could be the same, if you would be less bewildered at the exposure of somebody's material wealth.
As to the bamboo staff, well, I agree with you. That's why I had always in mind that I shall never have a Chinese girlfriend, especially because they are so determined to be amazed by the amount of money you have in the pocket and how you show it off.
lilichristian:
Thank you for the inspiring words in the comment!
Yes, I'm a girl in average level. He is an angel with a human face, a prince in a casual shirt. He never shows off anything so that made me thought he was just a teacher. I wasn't attracted by his career status nor the green card he holds. My passport is nice enough and I have my career in China as well.
I think what you said is right because the human qualities and the things from what I observed him most attracted me. If he is just a poor teacher, he maybe more reachable for me.
China is definitely materialistic country. Try to stay hopeful though! Do not sterotype Chinese people, maybe you will find some of them are exceptional.
Cheers,
-Bamboo Anonymous
JacobJohn:
@bamboo girl ;) thank you for your honesty. I met a nice person in China, a person of a great value and the friend I needed when I was so much struggling. I do believe, there are people like this in China and I am not to say it as if I'd do a favor to this Country, in saying so. Yes, there are great people too, it's just a matter of seeing and willing to seeing them. But it's true as well, that there are few. I was blessed to find this person, whom out of her noble character showed to me an unexpected support and friendship, genuine one with no interest to give anything in exchange. I struggle to be useful as a thanks to her, but she doesn't even want to hear of it.
These people like my friend - one in hundreds of "friends" i met, exchanged telephones, emails and contact info of any kind , whom disappeared when mostly needed them- these people are like oasis in the desert.
If you found such a great person, I wish you to enjoy the friendship and the relation with him.
JacobJohn:
BTW, bamboo girl, when you're saying " He is an angel with a human face, a prince in a casual shirt", you do look so in love with him. These words, describing him, are poetry.
A very interesting question. It's not actually a question.
This is a situation that only you can deal with. You need to look deep inside yourself and try to discover what it is you really want from life.
But there is a simple rule you can apply quickly and easily as a sort of instant compatibility test. It's called the 8 out of ten rule. Take 10 happy couples, photograph each person individually and then ask other people to rate the men and women by attractiveness. Eight times out of ten, the couples match the order of attractiveness.
So, if your a 6 out of ten, and he is a 6 out of ten, your made 
.
However, I would urge caution. If he is a high level manager it's fair to say he did not get there by accident. If he is uber ambitious he might have traits that will become a problem in a one to one relationship. This is the part that you need to think about.
It's good that you don't care about money. You should get a user name for here and keep posting. You will be snatched up in an instant if you become free 
As a Chinese ,there is no such a saying ," a bamboo door matches with a bamboo door, a wooden door matches a wooden one"
As a Chinese ,there is no such a saying ," a bamboo door matches with a bamboo door, a wooden door matches a wooden one"
mike695ca:
God damn it. I loved your reply but unfortunately i asked my girl and yes it is in fact a phrase. She finished the sentence for me hahah Damn.
Who actually cares about social backgrounds? Only snobby elitists do.
You're too concerned with money/face/background. Stop. Just be yourself. If you love him, and he loves you, then go for it...
If you do come from a very modest background...the difficulty for you will be finding common ground to talk about, probably not the man thinking he is of too high a class to date you.
The life experiences of a middle class westerner are usually much more broad than even many wealthy chinese people because there is so little to do for fun in China. It's hard to find good conversation other than maybe 1 or 2 TV shows you might both like.
if he works for a big company, find out about his competitors in his business, it shows interest and gives you a topic to talk about so you feel like your sitting even with him in a conversation. best of luck.
i once dated a lady executive for Dior and I researched all of her competing companies and managed to survive a 14 month affair, eventually she dumped me for a rich boring guy and now she is divorced, fat and alone. karma is a real bitch.
