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Q: Would you consider a girl looking for a guy who earns more than RsX as a subtle form of dowry?
Had a chance to speak to a girl for matrimonial purposes recently. I told her that we don't want any dowry. She further clarified that if my family asks for the wedding to be "decent enough" then it may also qualify as dowry. I felt that is fair enough. But then she mentioned she wants a well settled guy who would earn at least more than what she earns which led me to the above question. Why would a girl want a guy to earn more than her? Is this a modern form of dowry?
10 years 48 weeks ago in Relationships - China
Nope. Its her being sexist to herself 
Maybe give her some lessons on liberation of women.
gouxiong:
I would agree with you that she is acting in a sexistic way and do not understand why somebody does not like your statement. However I would also add that she acts in very logical way considering the environment. I would even dare to say that not doing so would show high degree of idealism and naivete :)
ScotsAlan:
Ha ha. Why do most people add the word nieve to any sentence with the word ideal or idealist in it?
gouxiong:
Never thought about it.
Let me guess - life experience?
Or just, more probably in my case, pessimism?
Nope. Its her being sexist to herself
Maybe give her some lessons on liberation of women.
gouxiong:
I would agree with you that she is acting in a sexistic way and do not understand why somebody does not like your statement. However I would also add that she acts in very logical way considering the environment. I would even dare to say that not doing so would show high degree of idealism and naivete :)
ScotsAlan:
Ha ha. Why do most people add the word nieve to any sentence with the word ideal or idealist in it?
gouxiong:
Never thought about it.
Let me guess - life experience?
Or just, more probably in my case, pessimism?
And I think if this happens in the society where the chances of male and female career development are uneven, divorce ratio is quite high and still growing so it's perfectly logical attitude. I would just add that most probably later will come still the topic about her 'insurance' (in the form of apartment etc.).
If the girl is expected to sacrifice her career in favor of the man and family so the most logical thing is she wants to be sure that when the things go, for whatever reason, wrong she is protected - batter safe than sorry.
It's of course great to enter into the marriage full of love and ideals but if ten or fifteen years later the 'sky may not be that blue' anymore so the man would have his career, stable and probably well paid job and certain free cash.
The girl would probably have nothing and would start in her late thirties or early forties brand new career as - for instance cleaning lady ... (or at least from the real bottom, forced to clearly prioritize salary over everything else).
The point has nothing to do with love. It's just very logical reaction on the surrounding environment.
or after I finish my work.
"Why would a girl want a guy to earn more than her?" Greed. Simple question, simple answer.
As to the other question, nope. I wouldn't consider a girl who would use me as a source of income. I would want a relationship where she would contribute equally. I'm a person, not a bank account.
Strawberry66:
It's fine,then you do housework and taking care of kids equally. Or both go to work and come back to home to relax and let the nannies do those jobs.
