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Q: You know what one of the hardest things about being in an interracial marriage is?
Order.
The order and way in which things are done. My wife doesn't understand that you can't eat apple pie for dinner, cause it's a desert. You can't set up your computer in the living room, you set it up in the office. The living room is for entertaining guests, having a glass of wine after dinner, or reading a book.
YES, THE FORKS AND KNIVES DO GO INTO THE DRAWER IN AN ORGANIZED FASHION.
YES, YOU DO HAVE TO PUT ALL THE CUPS AND GLASSES ON ONE SHELF AND THE PLATES ALL TOGETHER ON ANOTHER SHELF.
No, you cannot use shampoo to clean the floors.
Order ladies and gentlemen..... order.
Are you asking or you telling? Because from what I've read it looks like you've already figured it all out. If you say order and your convinced its order then I guess it's order! ORDER!
Matty, always helpful and insightful as usual.
The "order" suggestion is actually a very accurate one in my opinion. I have seen locals apartments where the fridge was located in the living room.
I would venture to say that my wife's organizational skills are bordering on "non-existent". For her, things don't seem to have a "place" if you know what I mean. When you add that to the fact that our apartment is devoid of shelves, closets and any other place in which to store stuff, it does get frustrating for me. The kitchen does have cupboards, but not near enough. Immediately upon opening the door, bam! you are in the middle of the living room. Design has a long way to go here.
nevermind:
It also gets me when I organize and entire kitchen and she just throws whatever wherever with no thought. I've opened the cupboards and had to go through glass to get to plates behind them. Drives me nuts!
MissA:
We live in an apartment obviously made and furnished for locals; our fridge is in the entrance hallway...
aroberts42:
Actually the fridge is usually in the living room because the kitchen is too small.
get some goddamn milk crates man.
A couple of my friends just moved into a new (to them) apartment. I love having to go through the "guest" bedroom to access the "clothes washing area", and having to go through the kitchen to use the bathroom. And yes, the front door puts you right in the middle of the living room, and the refrigerator is immediately on your right. Haha.
Luckily I still live alone in my own place :P
I will agree with some of what you said.. but I highly disagree with you about the order of apple pie and dinner. Why can't you eat dessert first?
And I have my laptop in my living room all the time. The only time I go into my office at home is when the neighborhood kids are out playing and I need to concentrate.
Maybe your order is not the way she sees it as orderly. Maybe SOME stuff you can relax about. Compromise is a beautiful magical thing.
Yes, I can understand your frustration of the kitchen. My mom likes it all ordered, and it's just convenient to know where everything is. My bedroom on the other hand...but that's my area. Back home, we believe that certain appliances belong in certain places; for instance, the fridge goes in the kitchen, where other food type appliances go. But I've seen some apartments in other countries where the washing machine is in the kitchen. Maybe you just like certain parts of your house to look...nice? Honestly, if she didn't grow up this way, how is she supposed to know? Put stuff wherever you feel like. Soap is soap (they don't really use much soap, right?)? The hard part is probably going to be getting her to understand why things have to be a certain way when her way is easier.
thay has nothing to do with cilture. it has to personality. me , i'm more open minded. if i feel for apple pie for dinner i eat apple pie for dinner. i dont give a rat's tail where things are put in the kitchen as long as it is in the kitchen. so when it comes to "order" that is more of a personality thing. where ever you go you are going to people who believe in strict order or not.
Jnusb416:
I agree on apple pie, although in my case, sometimes it is strawberry shortcake. 
GuilinRaf:
Chocolate cake and coffee!
That way, if the world comes to an end, I got to eat the best part!
MissA:
Awwwww man, WHY did you have to mention chocolate cake and coffee!!! Now I'm going to be craving it like crazy...
Because MissA, I am evil. I am very Evil....
Jnusb416:
Chocolate cake? Not unless it's like...oozing chocolaty goodness...or if it's red forest cake.
nevermind:
Yeah, but you gotta have rules, man! Without rules it's anarchy, then things don't get done!
crimochina:
you gotta have rules, but which rules is a personal choice. each person is free to choose and make their own rules. when searching for a mate the most important thing is finding someone that we match up with. we must know what are we willing to compromise for love and what we are not willing to compromise. we make the mistake (men and women) in thinking "i can change him/her" if there is something about him/her that you feel should change in order to make it a good fit, then find someone else who is what you are looking for.
crimochina:
remember nevermind, your rules are right for you. my rules are right for me. but no one should force you to live by their own rules and you should not try to hold someone else to your rules. find someone whose rules are compatible with yours.
nevermind:
Come on, we're talking about putting the dishes away properly, it's not like I asked her to give up meat.
TedDBayer:
Where do you get pie n China? I love pie. I can't bake because have no oven. but I'd never find spices, ingredients etc to bake. vanilla, cinnamon,lard, wheat flour. Apples or peaches worth anything. I'll eat pie instead of a meal. I cook because almost all my GF would burn water. mmmmm hey baby , " Don't worry, carbon is a major food group"
crimochina:
that's just it nevermind. your idea of properly is just your idea of properly. i'll give you 2 examples.
1. placing wet dishes in the cupboard. this is universally wrong because it causes mold. there is an actual realistic purpose to this rule.
2. placing plates on 1 shelf and cup on another shelf. there is no actual purpose to this rule. the only purpose is to you and anyone else who thinks like you.
it is a difference of fact vs opinion. if your rules (like number 2) are so important to you than you gotta seriously think about divorcing her. because the marriage will be a long drawn out tug of war. me personally , i dont compromise when it comes to health and safety. so if i have a woman that is going behind my back cleaning the shower with the toilet brush or using dirty tap water to make tea, i break up with her right away. change should be voluntary not forced on a person. basically what i'm saying is this if someone changes just to please you , then it is not real change they will change their behavior just while you are watching but revert back to their old habits behind your back. then that leads to lieing to cover up said behaviors and deterioration of the relationship. find someone who sees things the way you do.
crimochina:
and Ted , you know full well you can find pie in any woman walking around. just ask permission first before going in tongue first (by god dont you dare use a fork).
As long as bathroom related activities take place in the bathroom, and the house is clean (though it can be cluttered) all is well with me.
Nevermind, your back in the states, stay there. Why do you continue to post here if you really hate China that much.
philbravery:
your a lawyer right?
you should be nicer to him
maybe Nevermind will need your help with the divorce.
nevermind:
I'm Canadian, and I'm bored.
You must be a shit lawyer, cause you miss details like the fact I'm not talking about China, I'm talking about my wife. As well as that I am a Canadian, something I have mentioned before. Stay in China, I doubt your terrible law practice would last in the US.Phil, I appreciate that, but I'm not a divorce lawyer, I'm an International Lawyer with disciplines in importing and exporting law along with immigration and investing, I wouldn't help this guy at all.
GuilinRaf:
Criminal Law and Torts. Every time I hear the dreaded preface "I have a divorced friend/relative.neighbor....." I run away, screaming like a girl....
Jíliú.hé:
can you send me a card i am getting involved in shipping juice might need you.
I thought it would've been language. i can see I'd do the kitchen stuff as she doesn't like to cook.
wow are you serious? ... are you really that anal?
nevermind:
How is it anal to want an organized kitchen? What does your parents look like? What does the kitchen of most grown ups look like? Are all of them anal?
Dagobah:
no mate.. being organised is one thing... getting pissed off to the point where you have to come a forum and write in caps that you cant stand that your other half doesnt put forks in fork draw.... thats anal... Actually I just feel sorry for you... going with the flow is a beautiful thing
nevermind:
If something like that would piss you off to the point where you would seriously do that, I think you need some help, man. You're clearly a human timebomb. I was just positng for the hell of it.
Dagobah:
whatever dude... personally i like having all my plates and glasses mixed up... and i might just try washing the floors with shampoo this week... sounds interesting... i feel sorry for your wife, poor girl..
Jíliú.hé:
you worry about his floors but not your wife good to have priorities i guess.
Maybe the hardest thing for your wife in an interracial marriage is your unwillingness to compromise.
nevermind:
Go look for a random suspect in a crime to lynch before their trial, pogger.
As you can see Nevermind, you have some anger issues that no one really enjoys. By the way, I'm Canadian/American and have the right to teach and practice law in most countries.
nevermind:
Anger issues? Well, I was being lighthearted in my first post, I guess you're not sharp enough to notice.
Secondly, you have a problem of coming on here and being a condescending dink to people, which no one enjoys. And no, you don't have the right to practice law wherever you want. Most provinces and states have their own legal society or association... etc, and you have to be vetted and accepted (in some cases re-write a bar exam) to legally practice there, unless on a temporary basis.
An actual lawyer would know that. Once again, we see you're a crappy lawyer.
Jíliú.hé:
i think he meant internal law which is a bit more standardized i think.
nevermind:
No, I just hate hypocritical self-righteous tits like you. If I've ever gotten in your face it's likely cause you're a school marm wannabee who actually is the one judging people the most. PLus, I think you have at least three other personalities on here. I like to think there aren't so many wet turds on one board.
Jíliú.hé:
so now it is Neverminds board good for him getting his own board where he is god all mighty.
nevermind that that is racist interracial marriage and intercultural marriage are two different things what is wrong with you. I mean really why would you say it that way and then not give an explanation. You have a problem if you blame everything you do not like on race that is like pure racism.
P.S race is not a real thing it is arbitrary and has no real grounds so your question is not even a question.
nevermind:
I love it when Chinese people try to lecture native speakers on English.
Go away before I explain the proper use of "bu" and "mei" to you.
In this case we are already aware that we are talking about China, and that my wife is Chinese. We are not in North America where you would need to say cross-cultural.
PS: Race is not arbitrary. What are you on?Jíliú.hé:
how you organize is a value and you should know by now that what you said was racist.
P.S i have no wife as you should know and if i was. i would not have some weird gang bang fetish about like your sick a** has about yours.
nevermind:
My Gang Bang fetish was about your pretend wife. Can't you read?
And, again, nothing I said was racist. I used the term "interracial" in reference to my wife not being familiar with certain ways we do things where I'm from. That isn't racist. Once again, stop.Jíliú.hé:
he will admit that he has a fetish for gang bangs but not that what he said was at all remotely racist what guy.
derek:
Jilui, Nevermind is clearly not racist. You, however are not very bright.
Nevermind, I am able to practice law in all States and every province in Canada, It's called an international lawyer, the bar exam for international law is the same everywhere. You're a little petty aren't you, condescending I am at times, but as far as a crappy lawyer, I've won most of all my cases, have immigrated more than 100 Chinese into Canada and the States this year alone, helped quite a few foreigners set up companies and invest in China, I guess that's why my bank account is full, regardless, not here to banter with you, hope your life in Canada works well.
nevermind:
An international lawyer may be able to work cases that involve countries, or help people fill out paperwork. But you can't set foot in a courtroom in Canada to go in front of a judge unless you're temporary, or have passed vetting. As for being a lawyer in China, I just don't belive you. Especially since non nationals aren't allowed to practice law in China.
Anyway, I don't care about that. I find it funny you're calling me petty when you come out and start a little fight cause you don't like my attitude.
I may be a dick on here to Wu Mao types or ridiculous laowai, but I don't come on here pretending to be the moral compass of echinacities. You do, and that makes you a wanker, and far more sad and pathetic than you could ever accuse anyone else on this board of being.
Good luck in pretend court.
nevermind:
I spent three years as a court reporter. I may not be a lawyer, but I know my way around enough to know this guy is full of shit.
Jíliú.hé:
ya and a career criminal might say he is an expert on criminal law that does mean you take his legal advice.
nevermind:
Nope, but it means I know basic things... like a you can't just waltz into any country on a whim and start practicing law there.
GuilinRaf:
Actually Jiliu, some career criminals actively assist their attorneys successfully as many do indeed understand the law and almost as importantly, Criminal Procedure.
Jili, I'll PM you later, but again, nothings free buddy
Jíliú.hé:
thanks man i know by the way do you know import laws for India.
Nevermind, International law is not like criminal law, you study all aspects of international law depending on your discipline. This is where I stop, look at the website International lawyers in Beijing, you will see quite a few, you do not have to be a national to practice law in China or any country for that matter. I have worked in BC Canada, LA Cali. and many other places, never had to have a specific license for any country with a license to practice law for immigration for America and Canada and investments along with importing and exporting laws and taxes. Just enjoy your time in Canada.
nevermind:
I am well aware of the differences between the two. I just think you're full of shit. I've asked a friend of mine at the Law Society of BC about this.... we'll see what turns up.
Edit: Answer back from one of my friends who's a lawyer in TO "To practice in BC, you have to generally pass the BC Bar.......call the law society maybe? Watch out for "international lawyer" acting as "immigration consultant" con....." Is that what you are? An "immigration consultant"?
Most difficult part of an interraccial marriage Is that the baby wil never really look like you unless your the darker one . For all the white guys after u have a baby you will carry around a little Bruce lee in your arms and people will think your one of those people who adopt babys in China.
kchur:
Dude, my dad is black. I got the hair, I sort-of got the facial features but I'm pale as snow. I went to school with a chick who had a white dad/black mom, and she was redheaded with freckles.
Of the other hand most of the half-asians and half-natives I've met have had pretty much no Asian or Native looks whatsoever.
TedDBayer:
I bred pedigreed cats, took a university course on breeding genetics. Look at the math for matched pairs genes, do graphs, dominance, bla bla,, its such a crap shoot, no way to predict traits accurately in practice. With breeding two dominant colours, I'd still get recessive colours.
GuilinRaf:
My mom is Hispanic-Latina, my dad was White Franco-Germanic American. I came out looking white, my sister definitely looks Latina.
Luck of the draw.
crimochina:
chinese people know nothing about genetics they just spew indoctrinated garbage. learn high school biology moron
No matter who is joking or not, can we all just agree that Julio is an idiot? 
GuilinRaf:
One thumb down. Wonder who that was... Oh well, thumb up no 3!
