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Q: Is your foreign boyfriend faithful?
I had dated with two foreign guys,one had another girl at the same time,another often got messages from lots of gilrls.I m so not sure with men behave like that.Is your foreign boyfriends behave the same way?
11 years 45 weeks ago in Relationships - China
Yeah,you are right about it in some way.My relationship ends in tears cas of unfaithful Pakistan boyfriend.I think relationship should be faihful,if you don't like the person you are dating ith,end with her/him at first,then can start with another one.
Dating in western culture is like trying on clothes. Once you find an outfit that fits and works then you stop looking...and most western men are like this.
My point is if you have been with your boyfriend a long time and he still seeing other girls and "massages" then it's not worth your effort to continue as he is just having a good time with you and not serious.
Victoria1987:
My ex is from Pakistan,that is a country men can marry with 4 women,that was the most worring thing in mymind that time.Maybe isbetter to dae with men from western.My second ex is from Sebria,that time he was very poor,he asked me moneyalmost every day,I am not sure about his love for me,then I left him also,the key is he is bad to me also while he is asking me money.In relationship I prefer has two accounts
Victoria1987:
But if I find a good looking foreign guy in the street,can I just go to tell him like: hey ,yo look good,can I have your number?
Victoria1987:
no,I won't.I need someone who is really good in the deep of the heart also.
emilychen:
agreed with thedude!
hey victoria, i think you are too young ...i suggest you "before you date another foreigner, try to understand his culture ,background first ok ?? girl, please! "
i hope this helps you for your future!!! 
Mr_spoon:
Yeah, remember that "foreigner" still means about 6 000 000 000 non-chinese people now.
crimochina:
vicky have you tried communicating clearly to your partner that you want it to be a committed exclusive relationship? are you sure the other women are romantic interests?
Victoria1987:
Crimochina,I have talked to him that I want to be his only girlfriend,he commited this to me,but latter I find he was dating with some one else at the same time.That is bad ,you kown
crimochina:
so kick him to the curb and don't look back. learn to spot the warning signs.
dharma86:
Both those are terrible boys and not a proportional representation of foreign men.
People from any country can have hidden agendas sometimes.
thedude has it pretty much said in a nutshell. Totally agree.
Victoria: have a few business cards made with your name, phone number and email address. If you are bashful to approach a foreigner you may like, just hand him the card and say I will enjoy hearing from you. Just be careful, remember that all it shines is not gold.
Victoria1987:
Thanks,man.But when I was walking alone in the street,some foreign men go to start chatting with me then ask my number,so put in this way,I just think I can also do like that.
I was. But I usually am. Other women have not been my problem.
Victoria1987:
I was so seriouslywith my ex,but damn him,sleep with other woman also
fleur1228:
Be very careful. Don't be in hurry of finding someone to be with you.
There are many changes in life that we have to encounter, we may not want it but we should accept it.
Im tired of this question... is your chinese boyfriend faithful? Do you think that cheating is a problem brought from outside china?
Hakupatasa:
Chinese boyfriends are even big cheaters!!!!They think that we are unfaithful!!!
What a wonderful world they live.
Victoria1987:
They are also not faithful,lots of men are not,lots of men just wanna sex
the only thing i can say is: Sorry to hear that you have few encounters with bad balls. HOWEVER, once you get someone that you really want, then don't behave like common girls about whom we have discussed/argued in this forum for long time. Sometimes, no matter how good, faithful and trustworthy a man tries to be towards his GF, some of her actions may just turn him to bad balls."
Just be patient, wait for few days, try to understand his in-and-out and only take a step.
Victoria1987:
Which is so hard?I mean I need to ask and discsss with him?Or how come I kown his thinking all the time?Iam not dear god
Hakupatasa:
Grow up little bit girl. Open your eyes. Try to get what I am hinting.
You don't need to take his interview before your are on bed.
You can observe the guy about his behavior, his treatment towards you, his talks. You can be wise and just throw some questions that you like to get answers. My GF didn't let me spread her legs for many nights though she slept with me. She came, she talked, she spent time together; in simple word "she watched me." So did I. After one week she was ready.
And remember, think before what you want from a man. Do you want to stay with him whole life if possible? Do you want him to stay in China, if he agrees? Do you want to go with him to his country, IF and IF you were able to hold together for long? Or, You Just want to get some experiences? Be clear with these things. If you are considering for longer, and if he is thinking of long term, spending a month without sex is not a big deal. And one month is long enough for both to understand the intentions. Read some good books. Search on google about the country of man you are going to date. Know the culture, customs. And decide what you want. I am telling this because you seem damn serious on relationship with a man from the first day you see. I can sense that you watched too much crappy tele-dramas about love, where anything, everything possible under the whistle of directors.
You are too young and you have time to get a man.
If you don't know or confused what and how to ask questions to a man, then just google again. That is why I always say people "READ, READ and READ." Read something that makes you mentally mature, read something that opens the door to different societies, cultures.
People don't grow the whole tree of love from the first day. They like each other for few days, months or even a year. Then that "Like" slowly converts itself to love, if both wishes to go ahead with it. It is not like as soon as you see iPhone or iPad and said "I love (you - for man or woman)."
I didn't make any GF for first year in China. Then I looked around, I read, I tried to understood the society, mentality of people (though I am way far to know), then I decided I can go for one.
That is why I said "just be patient and take your time.
I hope you will understand now.
Victoria1987:
I am agreee some with you,I am not gonna rush to commit with a guy,I am going to kown him better and make sure we are suitable for sharing life together,in that case,least I kown me and 2 of my ex is not really that suitable cause I can change for them,but they even can't understand me ,how can we share life together?I need a foreign guy who can be diffrent from my way,but I do hope we can both understand each other later in some time.
Try and spend more than five minutes getting to know someone before you become a couple.
jyao87:
Dating is an important step where you take your time getting to know each other before you become official. There's no rule for how long. But for me I think 2-3 months. Because everything is always rosy at the start, by the 2nd or 3rd month, people show their true colours. Then you have a better understanding of each other and you can determine if you'd like to take it to the next step.
You can't say foreigners are unfaithful I fully trust my boyfriend. And I don't doubt him.
You can find unfaithful people of any background. I know of Chinese men you cheat on wives and girlfriend. But this doesn't mean they are all cheaters? I think you will find cheaters in every racy.
If he is getting texts and has other girls, maybe ask him if you're concerned. Otherwise if you feel that you can't trust them, then I'd say best not to be with him. Because relationship needs trust to survive.
jyao87:
Sorry about my typos, damn auto correct ! I meant every race! Not racy lol
I can't comment on the Dude's answer for some strange reason, but that is a GREAT analogy. Think if it as if those other two boyfriends were just badly-fitting shoes.
To answer your questions: yes, I have absolutely, 100 per cent no doubt that my partner is faithful. I trust him. But, of course, I'm talking about an individual, not all westerners are faithful to their partners and I very much doubt all Chinese are, either.
I'd stop looking for a foreigner, any foreigner, and look for a partner you can love, trust and respect (race is unimportant in this) and I suspect that will work out for you much better.
MissA:
And what does that have to do with it?
There's no race called 'foreigner', Victoria, (although it's true that most Chinese do seem to lump us altogether into one homogenous group). Your Pakistani boyfriend and your Serbian boyfriend came from different races, cultures and, probably, religions. My point is, you should look for a partner you can respect.
SHAME ON YOU Victoria . you are born with East Asian looks AND you are here to claim YOU even don't like east Asian looking man "
crimochina:
why shame on her???????/ she is free to like whoever she wants you douche.
Jillian:
then i should say she is stupid , please don't ask me again why i say that
crimochina:
jillian: each person has the right to choose who they want as a life partner. i am black . some black women will date anyone but a black man. it is ok. nationalism should not play a role in establishing someone preferences. it is completely up to the individual. you truly are from hunan arguing with you is turning me on 
Victoria1987:
Hi,listen,Jillian,from what you wrote,I should say you are narrowmind people,I like European guy,my American friend like chinese guy,every one has her /his right to choose the one they wanna be with,every one has her/his type.That is why this world is so diffrent,open mind,dont always be sarcasm,it is not lovely for a woman.
Jillian:
hi hi Victoria . you are right . i am narrow-minded. ..
AND you are lovely.LAR:
"SHAME ON YOU Victoria." NO, SHAME ON YOU. BE QUIET. EVERY person..Victoria or whomever has the right to choose who THEY WANT! :( Save your guilt trips!
you seem like an intelligent young lady but sadly you grew up in china. you must reshape your world view. it is not China and foreigners. it is not that all pakis are the same either. each human being is an individual. judge the person in front of you based on his/ her actions.
must importantly communicate every last detail . make it absolutely clear what you expect out of the relationship from the very begriming. do not assume anything. discuss it openly.
you are an equal partner in your relationship if you are not getting what you want or the other party is disrespecting your idea of the relationship , drop him ,learn from it, and move on to someone else. do not carry baggage into the next relationship (that means do not let the actions of a previous boyfriend affect how you treat the next guy. do not punish the current guy for the ex-guys crimes)
i lost myself so i'm gonna end here.
Jillian:
She is young indeed but not intelligent , at least doesn't seem like one .
Victoria1987:
Thanks,crmsochina,well said.But I wanna kown will some western guy look down from the poor country?Will lots of western guy be seriously dating with girls from poor country.I mean not every guy are like that
crimochina:
jillian: intelligent because she is aware that she does not know everything, and she is curious to learn more.
crimochina:
vicky: remember each person is different. some people look down their noses at people from what they consider lesser countries or even other races. but some see everybody as equals . you must learn how to know the difference. pay very close attention to their actions. and understand you need more experience to develop understanding. also you will make mistakes, choose the wrong guy from time to time. i'm 35 , i have extensive experience with women and i still choose the wrong girl more than i choose the right girl. accept your mistakes, learn from them, and move on. but most importantly protect yourself condoms condoms condoms. herpes, HPV are extremely common. HPV is more harmful to women than men. remember each person is their own culture, nationality, ethnic group. there are over 7 billion cultures/ ethnic groups i hope you understand that. i truly believe you are a smart person. in time, you'll figure it out.
Victoria1987:
yep,right,I am moving on already,I will be carefully before startting new relationship
Jillian:
MAYBE she is on the way to be A intelligent person , . but NOT NOW , from what she posted .
crimochina:
jillian: if you are going to be my wife hen we should at least have a honeymoon! you are confusing intelligence (quick at understanding something from the dict) with knowledgeable (knowing information). she is clever because she understands that she hasn't got it figured out yet andshe is quickly taking steps to do so
love you jillian but your still wrong (i swear to christ if you are some dude i'll !@#^%^&*(!@#$%^&*()(*&^%$)
Jillian:
you and the Victoria should have a honeymoon ,but me .. Bye....
crimochina:
this is actually more accurate.: inexperience does not mean no intelligence.
i get it!!! jillian is jealous of vicky and me 
there is room to share or you can have me for yourself. (don't bite too hard)
Victoria1987:
Crimochina,well said,but I feel Jillian is a lady not that socializing in real life.She actually doesn't kown people much,she just jude people by her way most time,I guess it from allthe words she has posted.Hope she is not the girl you are dating with.lol
Jillian:
Dear Victoria , . the more you say , the more stupid you prove yourself , just close the door .,read some good books , use your mind and think . don't waste your time on dreaming a foreign man
crimochina:
vicky and jillian: simply put you both have differing opinions, that is ok. let's all have lunch together and talk it out. i'll bring the bikinis and mud. i still love the both of you .
Jillian:
crimochina don't kidd me . trust me , just Victoria is enough for you ,,,,i bless both of you .
crimochina:
jillian: i want you not vicky , don't leave me my hunan princess. please no no no .
(door slams, Jillian is on the outside walking away)
(picks up cell phone calls vicky) " hey vicky i broke up with jillian for you, so now we can be together, how about dinner"
Jillian:
hi ,crimochina , I will appreciate it if you can keep me out of all your jokes. you may are not aware how low-quality , and second-class your jokes are.
crimochina:
jillian i am well aware how low quality my jokes are but i live in a classless society (china is a commie country so no 2nd class). i willl respect your request.
I think you just had bad luck. Keep looking for a good guy, and don't start dating someone right away. Try being friends first, get to know him, and then, if you have enough in common, try dating him. Believe me, it will save you a lot of heartache. There is no reason to rush into a relationship.
why do girlz always complain , i never saw a guy who complain and post his personal things here , girls are ............wat can i say ??????????????? WTF ...this question doesn't make any sense , if you hav got a foreigner bf why are you showing it off here ,you can personally discuss it with your close friends or some foreign friend in private and do you really need to ask question like these here
crimochina:
seriously????????? you never saw guys complain????????? why are all chinese girls ............ seriously???????? you just blocked that stuff out
Victoria1987:
I agree with crimo also,lmao,guys and girls are doing the same
I often reads this forum for fun, which it is.
I must say, I have never met a board with so many f*cked up minds and twisted personalities. Kind of feel 70% just came out from the cave, or the mental hospital.
I really wonder if all these person that exist here are for real or just a setup from echinacities.com!
LOL.
Victoria1987:
I am 100% real,I am not so sure about the others,cas no body no me in real life,lol,I can talk any things here,for example,I cant tell my chinese friend I have losted my virginity to my PK ex,come on,girls in china is so diffrent from westners,nostly you cant talk about sexy,or diffrent other idears from westerns to them
jyao87:
Agreed, some may say it's curiosity. But some ... It can't be. Don't know what's going on up there
Victoria1987:
I must say you are standard crazy people,you think our mind is like something from the mental hospital,but me think you are kind of rude person.
Laoban:
You sure need to learn to take critic girl! Everything is not honey and milk, welcome to mother earth!
LAR:
You are OFFENSIVE!!!!!!! :( Shut up!!!!!!! "70% F***ED up minds blah blah"..you have a lot of NERVE making such a ridiculous comment(s)!!!!!!!! :(
I've never had a boy friend, so I don't know. Am I ? Usually yes, faithful. If I have a GF, then I want to spend all my time with her. I have a problem with Chinese women because they lie too much and it may take awhile to see the temper. Once I see this, it's time to move on.
Victoria1987:
Almost evey person lies,not just women,take it easy,if she lies fo some tiny things,it is not a big problem,it depends on situation,but if lie for having slept with another man,that is not good
Hi, sorry to hear about your experiences but:
1. your comments about the muslims were highly biased. you cursed all muslim men based on one individual's doings while i was surprised to see that you criticized the Serbian boy but did not criticize his religion or faith i.e. christianity. So why this double standards??? also, should i generalize all chinese girls the same as you ?? But of course, i will not do that.
the reality is Islam is the only religion which teaches high morals to his followers. that's why we can see the highly obsessive, vulgarity, homosexuality and inmate relationship commonly in west as opposed to the relatively better islamic societies in the middle-east. majority of western societies are corrupt & evil while only minority in islamic societies are evil-doers. unfortunately u pinpointed the minority of black sheeps in muslims and tried to give an impression that they represent Islam or islamic societies which is highly unfair and unrealistic.
2. Secondly, your comments about muslim men having multiple (or 4) wives is merely a misunderstanding of Islam. Infact Islam is the only religion in which one wife is preferred unlike other religions like christainity where one is free to have unlimited wives, mistresses, gfs, homo-sexual relationships etc. However, in Islam, under special conditions (in case of war where men die at large number or if couple cannot have kids) it is permitted to have another wife and that also after the permission of earlier wife. And in my whole life, i haven't seen a single person having 4 wives. Hope that will clarify you and others about this misunderstanding. and if your aim is just to criticize islam, then go ahead and no one can stop u.
MissA:
You are right in saying that she was wrong to single out and criticise the religion, based on one bad experience. However it is highly insulting to suggest that only one religion in the world teaches morals. That is ENTIRELY incorrect. Why are you responding to an attack on your religion, which was in poor taste, by insulting all other religions? That's in very poor form.
TruthFinder:
pogger: your earlier comments were more than trash, if you will not respect others no one is gona respect you as well
LAR:
YOU ARE SUCH A LIAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! May God help you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! "The reality is............his followers." Wrong. "That's why...............in the Middle-East." Wrong. "In fact, Islam................relationships,etc." Wrong.
Hypnos:
TruthFinder,
Your description of Muslim religion is in fact what it should be, BUT ISN'T. Hope you really preach what you just said. Maybe there is faith somewhere, to see an end of these religious/ economic war we have been having all over the world. As for the black sheep, unfortunately there seem to be a lot of them and not just a few. God be with you.
Hey victoria,
I don't think you should date foreigners. Why are you searching for a foreigner so much? You should go find your own people. You will never understand foreigners.
miss victoria !
love is not a crime nor its a guarantee for marriage or promise to future. as you are Chinese girl, the first thing is you Chinese girls do not have knowledge about people and understanding of which country or continent they do belong to. there can be a boy have blonde hairs, green eyes, white skin, you all Chinese girls jump in conclusion that he is western,American,European or other nationals but not Asian.the truth is Asian have the guys like that as well.FIRST POINT INCREASE YOUR GENERAL KNOWLEDGE about boys and other countries as well.
As you said your Bf is Pakistani you thought it he is handsome,you date him several times,dinner,lunch,KFC,invitation.Sex is the feeling every boy's prick wants. see the entire picture you can not completely blame your Bf for breaking it up,you can think what went wrong? what were his expectations? you definitely would have asked him for marriage, he would have given you some conditions for marriage ? Did you accept his conditions ? what were the things you want to accept and do not want to accept? every men has expectation with wife or spouse and so does spouse has it as well. Men, women, husband and wife has equal right together.so please do not push it completely on him,a guy run for a girl for sex if he is young in his 20s, [what is the age of your Ex-Bf ] ? he will run for sex. love or long-term future planning in 20s is impossible. Chinese girls think of marriage very early so i may think he is not ready for marriage, maybe he has got family pressure,he is not independent financial and to the point he can not afford a house in china as Chinese girls do demand a house.
The last more important thing do not blame it on his religion. His religion has nothing to do with it. It was his own intentions and decisions which he has taken it and there are repercussion for it as well. You read about Islam, every concerning book of it, you will not find in it any where that adultery, sex, deception, lying, cheating, unfaithfulness is allowed in Islam. he has done sex with you according to Islamic law he shall have 70 lashes, he has committed higher degree of sin. the most worst sin he has broken a trust of human being. As you will never believe or trust any Muslim from any country he belongs in future. So do not put it on the religion. All the religions in world do not allow adultery, sex, deception, lying and cheating in any community. i can have bet on it. from Christianity to Zionism you check it out. Not even a single religion tells you to do bad things or sinful things in the world. About- 4 marriages are permitted in Islam but its easy to say then doing it. Getting married 4 times at the same time is not joke. you have to do justice,equality,kindness,fairness among all 4 wives. education, food, clothes, shelter, house and all the daily life usage things you have to provide in fairness and with equality. Even the Muslim millionaires and billionaires can not marry 4 times at the same time. So this guy who can not love properly what you think he will get 4 wives in future. its not McDonald you get discount coupons.
if your virginity was more important to you than you should not have lost it. You should have tested his patience , love, care and sensitivity. you should have taken time in deciding to pop your cherry out. you gave him the feeling, he took the chance. so in breaking your virginity you both are involved together . its not One person decision. So do not blame him entire. But i will say he has cheated on you, he wanted sex and cuddling with other girls. i am not taking complete side of him but nor i am on yours too. sorry if you are hurt with my words.
Victoria1987:
Oh ,my god,you wrote a long article to me.
First of all,I am not completly blame on him to take my virginity,it is also my fault,he didnt force me to do that,you are wrong about me.
Second,I am not the same as many chinese girls,I am not saying find a husband in western world,not men in western has the European looking,get the point.
Third,I am not gonna accept all guys,I have my preference,I prefer light bown skin guy,bown eyes,tall,good body shape.Age between 23 and 27 will prefered.A polite,funny,faithful,nice,wise young man will catch my heart,not every foreign guy can get my heart,I should make it clear.I am not an bad looking girl,also I am not that material and digusting.So of course I can have a high requirment of man.In real world,lots of foreign men are chasing me everyweek,if I have the low level,will be easy for me to get bf.
Fourth,I am not that narrow as you judged me.may be billions of chinese girls are think in this way,but I am not,I am around people from diffrent countries and help companies do international business,so everyday ,I have to deal with lots of foreginers,and also I am the young one who will think things in a wiser way,so you are wong about me still.
Fifth,I am not saying my man has to have expensive house and cars to get married with me.I am not saying he must be rich.Marriage is based on love ,not that thins in most chinese girls' mind.I require a European looking guy,but I am not a material person.I like my man to be handsome.
To Victoria: I would suggest that you realize that dating is dating not dating is being married. Dating is playing the field and finding the right person or just having fun, it's common in the West. If you are dating someone, I would surely expect them to speak or even date other people.
For Jilian: Reading your posts to Victoria, makes me even more reluctant to ever think a Chinese woman will ever be more than a vendictive, arrogant, childish and truly snotty person. So no one has bowed before you in a while is my guess. Reading Victoria's posts makes me feel about the same except she's looking for some one so faithful, they could be considered a dog
Bonita: A breath of fresh air
dharma86:
Not necessarily date other people if it were serious and long term, but of course boys will talk to other girls. The mindset is of course if we ain't doing anything with the girl then what's the problem eh?
Chinese girls also like to have multiple boys lined up with a choice at hand, especially if they are insecure.
Jillian:
Hi ，Techezee ,thanks for your attention , you really gave a very honest and correct description of me . your wife should feel proud of you .
That dharma, is more than true, they will want you to be faithful only them in your eyes, but they have their QQ logged full of guys and find no problem with this. They want your email account, messenger account, phone text messages, it is one of many things that really gets me wound up with Chinese girls, and when they are confronted, they fall on the ground crying childishly until you beg for forgiveness and you completely forget what he real subject was about
victoria...your question is so stupid. Why do you need a foreigner so much? not satisfied with a chinee bf? are you ugly or fat and cant find a good chinese man? are you to lazy and dont like to clean or maybe you cant have a baby so u go to find a foreigner?
Stay with your own people if you have so much trouble with foreigners...its better for your 500000000 years of chinese history
Victoria1987:
Just a stupid person,I don't wanna lower my level to answer your stupid question.
lily_9:
lmao EYN05 u r right. chinese girls r sooo pathetic, not even sexy but always looking for foreigners. hahahahhaha
not always........i am a foreigner guy but still i advice the Chinese girls to be careful......alot of us are not trustworthy when it comes to relationships but i am not generalizing this so please no one get insulted or offended or take it personal
fish79:
..i am a foreigner guy no foreign man would say this ...........troll.........
i am gonig to go across seven seas and seven rivers to find my love
