The place to ask China-related questions!
Beijing Shanghai Guangzhou Shenzhen Chengdu Xi'an Hangzhou Qingdao Dalian Suzhou Nanjing More Cities>>

Categories

Close
Welcome to eChinacities Answers! Please or register if you wish to join conversations or ask questions relating to life in China. For help, click here.
X

Verify email

Your verification code has been sent to:

Didn`t receive your code? Resend code

By continuing you agree to eChinacities's Privacy Policy .

Sign up with Google Sign up with Facebook
Sign up with Email Already have an account? .
Posts: 5539

Emperor

0
0
You must be a registered user to vote!
You must be a registered user to vote!
0

Q: can you control yourself?

A student was giving a presentation in front of the class. She was clearly nervous and something was going wrong with her ppt. She was on the wrong slide. Said oh I'm sorry. And right on cue she let's out a loud and long fart.
The class is laughing and staring at me which I hate. But tears are in my eyes because I am holding in the laughter. I simply say... 'go on'. And then look down at my paper.
As she continued the smell began to takeover the room. I think I gave myself an ulcer holding it in.

9 years 18 weeks ago in  Family & Kids - China

 
Answers (10)
Comments (7)
Posts: 4397

Emperor

0
0
You must be a registered user to vote!
You must be a registered user to vote!
0

That reminds me of the time a student of mine was on her period and her idiot mother had given her a treatment for it that gave off the most utterly revolting smell I care to imagine, like that's the kind of attention a young girl needs at such a sensitive time. It made me want to gag and one lad did, but all I could do was try to look like I didn't notice. Poor kid smelt like the shitty innards of a syphilitic rat. In the end she left early with tears in her eyes and the whole class inhaled in perfect unison.

Scandinavian:

+1 for Chinese parenting. 

9 years 18 weeks ago
Report Abuse
Report Abuse
9 years 18 weeks ago
 
Posts: 9631

Emperor

0
0
You must be a registered user to vote!
You must be a registered user to vote!
0

My flatulence is in check. My MIL has this problem, she will fart even while farting. Or while eating, or while talking. No attempts in hiding it. 

 

He who smelt it, dealt it, doesn't apply in China. 

Report Abuse
9 years 18 weeks ago
 
Posts: 3269

Emperor

0
0
You must be a registered user to vote!
You must be a registered user to vote!
0

depends on what I ate. sometimes I feel an urge to inconspicuously let out a silent deadly one just outside the classroom. but like clockwork, a kid will be following me out with something to say or ask: "laoshi laoshi... [sniff sniff]."
i particularly hste the ones that follow me into the office during breaktime - you think you're safe to let it rip, then there's an 'echo' of laughing kids behind you.
I had the problem a lot when first adjusting to the job - stress affects your bowels too. mostly i can hold it in nowadays.

Eorthisio:

I also hate it when pupils are following me or other teachers in the office, but I mostly taught preschoolers and I can't blame them, they don't understand the difference between class time and outside of class, for the same reasons they call the teachers out and sometimes run to them to give a hug when they see them outside of school in the city (like during the weekend).

 

From primary however no excuses, they must ask for permission before walking into the teachers' office.

9 years 18 weeks ago
Report Abuse
Report Abuse
9 years 18 weeks ago
 
Posts: 4935

Emperor

0
0
You must be a registered user to vote!
You must be a registered user to vote!
0

Nope, I have extreme fartulence. Making love? *100 dB PHTOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT*

Lord_hanson:

haha, isn't that the true, needing to fart during sex or worse whist getting a bj.

9 years 18 weeks ago
Report Abuse
Report Abuse
9 years 18 weeks ago
 
Posts: 9192

Emperor

0
0
You must be a registered user to vote!
You must be a registered user to vote!
0

I've been with women that just let one rip, I find it weird but laugh. I once decided to let one rip in an elevator just to see the reaction, no one noticed.

mArtiAn:

I did that once after a night on the Chinese brandy and followed through. Then a very pretty girl got on. God, it seems, is not without a sense of humour.

9 years 18 weeks ago
Report Abuse
Report Abuse
9 years 18 weeks ago
 
Posts: 151

Governor

0
0
You must be a registered user to vote!
You must be a registered user to vote!
0

lmfao

Report Abuse
9 years 18 weeks ago
 
0
0
You must be a registered user to vote!
You must be a registered user to vote!
0

Sometimes in the bus or the metro people fart or are simply smelly because they didn't shower for days (common in China), what makes me angry is that most people in their racist ignorance always assume that this is the lone laowai who is smelly or released himself.

 

For e.g. : Some local elder or farmer release a smelly fart > The smell spreads > Everyone (including me, excluding the one who just farts) put their clothes or a handkerchief in front of their nose > Yet everyone stare at the lone foreigner as if it was me.

Report Abuse
9 years 18 weeks ago
 
Posts: 1300

Shifu

0
0
You must be a registered user to vote!
You must be a registered user to vote!
0

I generally don't need to fart outside of the toilet.

Report Abuse
9 years 18 weeks ago
 
Posts: 3256

Emperor

0
0
You must be a registered user to vote!
You must be a registered user to vote!
0

Being vegetarian, I'm more "under pressure" than most. Yet one can be into free farting yet be civilized:

* Wait to be outdoor and/or in a well ventilated area

* Wait for a big truck, or anything noisy

* Don't do it when you have people right behind you

* If you know you will in a stressful situation, drink a strong black coffee *before*, to purge your intestine (count 15 minutes before effect)

 

And then, release. Years of practice makes you able to release massive bubbles when the conditions are right, and holding it when not appropriate. You can buy my book on Amazon to learn more on the topic "Free farting - Beginners' Guide"

Report Abuse
9 years 18 weeks ago
 
Posts: 250

Governor

0
0
You must be a registered user to vote!
You must be a registered user to vote!
0

If someone wants to make me angry and get killed, come closer to me and fart. devil

 

It is the highest point of disrespect to anyone, so yes I do control and I expect others to control in front of me, no matter how near and dear those fart-bags are.

Spiderboenz:

I fart in your general direction.

9 years 18 weeks ago
Report Abuse

Lord_hanson:

your mother is a hampster and your father smells of elderberries!

9 years 18 weeks ago
Report Abuse

Hakupatasa:

@Spider...you are welcome to fart in my general direction. But please make sure that you have enough gas and belly volume so that I could hear the sound. Please do make sure you won't burst while doing so.

@ Lord...thanks for sharing so valuable information about my parents. Didn't know before such marvelous qualities of my parents. I am delighted, at least there are some people who knows my parents more than me. Great.

9 years 18 weeks ago
Report Abuse
Report Abuse
9 years 18 weeks ago
 
Know the answer ?
Please or register to post answer.

Report Abuse

Security Code: * Enter the text diplayed in the box below
Image CAPTCHA
Enter the characters shown in the image.
  • Allowed HTML tags: <a> <em> <strong> <cite> <code> <ul> <ol> <li> <dl> <dt> <dd> <img> <br> <p> <u>
  • Web page addresses and e-mail addresses turn into links automatically.
  • Lines and paragraphs break automatically.
  • Textual smileys will be replaced with graphical ones.

More information about formatting options

Forward Question

Answer of the DayMORE >>
A:  "... through ..."?  Only "through" comes to mind is "S
A: "... through ..."?  Only "through" comes to mind is "Shenzhen agent can connect you with an employer, who's authorized to hire waigouren ... and can sponsor Z visa." It's not like every 10th person you meet in Shenzhen's hood can sponsor work visa ...  The only way to change from student to labourer visa is just a regular way by: 1. Finding an employer, who'll apply for an Invitation letter; 2. Exit China and apply for Z visa in your home country's Chinese embassy; 3. Enter China in 30-days after Z visa was stamped into your travelling instrument ...As I am aware, you won't be able to switch to Working permit by remaining in China....,so make ready for a return to your home .... -- icnif77