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Q: A Chinese wife, a lot of additional responsibility?
I've been in China for some time now, but as my chances of meeting an interesting woman grow less (in proportion to less and less hair of my head) I am considering getting into a more serious relationship than in he past. In general I am attracted to Chinese women, but I've heard a good deal of stories how it looks with your in-laws in China and I am somehow a bit repelled by a prospect of potential future Chinese mother in-law trying to command my life and not surprisingly most of the women from my generation have no siblings, so all the attention of her parents would be focused on me and her. Is the picture really so hopeless when it comes to relations with Chinese in-laws?
7 years 27 weeks ago in Family & Kids - China
if you are planning to marry a Chinese girl and have kids , marry her but don't live in china. China environment is very bad for family and kids
It varies a LOT! I'm lucky in that my wife is the oldest of 3 siblings and she's VERY independent. Her younger siblings both have kids now and her parents don't expect much from her (her brother gets all the shit about building a house in the home village!)
Takes time to find the right partner, even in foreigner land, so be choosy and try to figure out early whether it will be the mother-in-law who will pull the strings in your relationship
if you are planning to marry a Chinese girl and have kids , marry her but don't live in china. China environment is very bad for family and kids
I am married, with a kid, and a stay in Chinese MIL.
It's ok to be honest. I know I have the MIL for life, and she knows she has me for life. But I have seen her bankbook, and I am determined to outlive her. She is determined to outlive me.
I knew what I was taking on before I got married. And to be honest, I am overall happy. We have our moments, we have our fights. But we sort of manage to work together.
Our 4.5 year old daughter, who has 3 effective parents, mum, dad and gran, has never had an unhappy day in her life. Grandad visits most days, uncles, aunties, cousins, neighbours and friends.
Trust me. If you want a Chinese wife, tell her from the start that you want to stay in China. If she is happy with that, you will have a happy life together 
ScotsAlan:
EngTeach. Us lefties are easy going. Why not do the MIL thing?
Generally, Chinese women are way reserved. They care about HOME life more, to her husband and child. It is a tradition or merit for them.
There's a Chinese proverb - "
"Be careful what you wish for. It might come true."
