It never came up. The "I'm a laowai and we don't do it in my country" argument had been rehearsed. My country has a "Girls parents pays for eveything" policy that nicely counters the dowry/human trade money. 

  My wife did ask me to present her parents with a dowry of 10,000 and it shocked me. According to her it's more a matter of tradition with them than any attempt at money-grabbing. I refused on principle but later gave them the same figure, on the wife's request, to help out with her father's hospital bills. No complaints there whatsoever but I do suspect the wife may have been killing two birds with one stone there, but i've never brought it up, it doesn't bother me, they are good people and I know when i'm being bent over. Now her parents, who have spent the larger majority of their lives in abject poverty, have given us 150,000 yuan to put towards buying a flat. Kind of makes me feel guilty about my original stance on the dowry. But not that guilty.

It never came up for me either.

I'm not sure whether that is because they knew I was poor or because it wasn't something they had thought about.

I refused on the basis of not paying for a person. MIL always "suggests" that I give her money that she'll return at some point in e future. Didn't believe it then, don't believe it now.

We have a friend whose mother has in excess of 2 million RMB in gambling debts....guess how much she wants for her daughter's hand?

We paid enough to cover the cost of the party (food, invitations, hotels, etc) then we split the Hong Bao between us and her parents.

I made it clear from day one that none of the of the local traditions regarding money or health were ever happening with me. I can speak mandarin, which fortunately spares me the This is China speech, and I never had an issue ever since.

Same as above poster. I told her that I'm willing to play the games in chinese marriages but she follow my tradition etc. I'm not doing a human transaction. My GF (future wife hopefully) since she isn't a crazy nationalist agreed. In my mind I can't put a figure in her worth nor could I give sht to her parents who tried to hold her back for fear they lose their retirement machine. 

I was lucky. We had discussed it and came to the comprimise of I pay 50 000 or so but i dont have a weird wedding. Western style close family only. When we went to confirm how much her dad actually said these words. I dont want money. Im not selling my daughter. I knew she was good for marrying then hahaha

I put my atm card in a hongbao to present in front of the relatives for show.  After how much of my wife's money her mother has, she certainly wasn't getting any of mine.

My wife told her parents, she wasn't doing things by tradition. 

That she didn't expect me to to buy her hand. It made them mad, but they still agreed to let us marry. 

Nope.