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Posts: 170

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Q: Do you judge other 'foreigners'?

Whether maliciously or unconsciously most of us have judged the Chinese in one way or another, maybe for the way they do things or how they conduct themselves etc.

 

But I'm intrigued...what about the other foreigners here? Do you judge them the same/more harshly/less so?

 

I think when you move somewhere new, you are expected to roam within fine lines, if you're too 'crazy' and drink too much, or are too spontaneous and carefree you will be stamped as reckless. I also think if you say no to alcohol and frequenting fun places and keep to yourself you will be stamped as a fun sucking prude.

 

Sometimes I wonder how I am perceived by the other expats here? What's your thoughts on this?

10 years 18 weeks ago in  General  - China

 
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I try not to judge people, but hell, i'm human ! 

I think it is easy to categorise people so we can respond with a certain behaviour pattern. 

I accept the people i meet here for who they are, and it it their choice to accept me or not.

But I won't change who i am to 'fit in' so i don't really care how the other 'foreigners' perceive me, especially if they have a negative (their opinion) impression of me.

TianjinCity:

Tianjin has a small community of Expats, I occasionally felt judged here. This city may not have a lot of foreigners but the ones living here can be pretty judgemental at times, specially the ones that go to the Church every Sunday. 

9 years 51 weeks ago
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sorrel:

not being a church goer, i have not encountered anything like that here

9 years 51 weeks ago
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10 years 18 weeks ago
 
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I do. I dont judge foriegners on their jobs or hobbies or money or clothes. But once i talk to them for a bit thats when i become a judgmental ass. I found most to be insecure about their jobs and position in life, so they tend to try to overcompensate by bragging or lying untill it becomes unbearable for me. But if they are just normal and real, i tend not to. Im certainly no better than they are, and ive usually experienced the same things so i can relate.

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10 years 18 weeks ago
 
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Governor

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Only if the other foreigners judge me first Wink

Scandinavian:

how can you tell ? 

10 years 18 weeks ago
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Samm11:

If I can't tell, that's fine. and if I can see/hear/feel that people are judging me, I would react. 

10 years 18 weeks ago
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10 years 18 weeks ago
 
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Shifu

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Yes, I do judge [evaluate, hehe] other people, be they Chinese or other foreigners

but only on their public behavior.

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10 years 18 weeks ago
 
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Yes, all other foreigners in China are there because they're losers who can't get a job or women in their home countries. Upstanding foreign individuals such as myself aren't part of that category, however. And by "individuals," I mean "individual." Everyone else is a complete and total loser.

 

Jokes aside, nah... but I treat people the same as I would anywhere else: if you get drunk all the time, sleep around a lot, and do a lot of other stupid things, then I don't like you and probably won't want anything to do with you, regardless of where you come from.

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10 years 18 weeks ago
 
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I agree with sorrel, I try not to, knowing I shouldn't; I think we instinctively compare ourselves to other foreigners here. Consciously or subconsciously, it happens.  What irritates me is the "unspoken" (no pun intended) competitiveness to see who speaks the "best" Mandarin - I have seen some smug show-offs over the years here.  My Mandarin is adequate but I don't feel the need to gas off loudly in public places within earshot of other foreigners to make myself feel better than the laowai behind me in line at Starbucks.

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I do judge others to determine if there is something I can get out of interacting with them. It doesn't have to be material or guan xi, but at least learn something new or perhaps a new perspective on life. Most of us came to China for a new experience or lifestyle. To be honest, many foreigners in China are the same as back home... except they get a super ego-boost when they come here. Not all, but a lot. 

 

I knew this one guy that got like 4-5 Chinese girls pregneant and didn't take any responsibility. However, he was a very nice guy.. a little rugged but very polite, helpful and just enjoyed having a good time (obviously meant drinking and girls). 

 

Everyone has their  less that righteous flaws... but if they are interesting, that goes a long way. A lot of foreigners in China that I can't stand are:

 

- Big talkers, little walkers (acting like a superstar because people are looking at them or finally asking them on dates... don't brag... it is extremely easy for all of us)

- Bad Hygiene (some all of the sudden think being in China is okay to BO the place up)

- Cry Babies (the ones that complain constantly, all the time about China)

- BFFs (I don't mind befriending foreigners if we have something in common, or saying hello and chatting but we are not automatically best friends because we both come from "wai guo". 

 

If the person seems kind, is looking at their experience positively and has seems to have something interesting to say or talk about, then I am all for it. 

expatlife26:

I agree, most important thing is positivity and having something interesting to say. We all know it's crowded and locals are rude...if that's all someone has to say it's time to learn some new material!

10 years 18 weeks ago
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I try my darnedest to judge ALL people by their actions (towards me or other people), but then again I am human...so I do feel guilty when I do that [being judgmental]...but sometimes I don't feel guilty (dunno why)...hehehe...I guess I can be evil sometimes.

 

If people judge me based on the colour of my skin or my face or what's inside...inside my wallet...or the type of job I have, then that's their problem, not mine.

 

Ahhh..to be human!

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10 years 18 weeks ago
 
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I hate to say it, I really do, but I  have received more crap from my "foreigner" "friends" than from all of my Chinese friends put together and multiplied by ten.

 

China seems to attract a certain mindset or lack of a certain mindset.

 

I have met foreigners here who were so crazy that they would be institutionalized back home  -- crazy to a point that even the Chinese were stunned by it.

 

And then I have met some really kind foreigners here so to speak, better than I would have met a home.

 

I have had some good friends here who came here to redeem themselves of their past lives, and I mean it, and who found redemption and set such good examples.

 

And I met foreigners here who were just stuck in the vortex of their problems and couldn't escape.

 

In any case, I do judge. But I judge privately and keep my opinions to myself.

 

If I can't handle the person, I just avoid him or her.

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10 years 18 weeks ago
 
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  I like to think I don't judge anyone until they've given me reason to do so. And even then experience has taught me that i've really got little right to pass casual judgements on others as I haven't lived their lives and don't know who i'd be if I had done. 

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10 years 18 weeks ago
 
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Shifu

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we are humans, we take choices, we judge.

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Like Belle said, China tends to attract a certain type of person; The vast majority of us (at least when we first set out) were looking for something new and different.  Almost to such an extent that the people we meet seem quite unnatural at first as though you were something from their past that they wanted to escape for whatever reason..  Even though they've only been here a very short time many seem unwilling to take advice based on your experience.  I'm somewhat surprised when I meet other foreigners as to the lack of interest in my own experience.  As such it is hard to make friends and that inevitable leads to judging.  When the next one comes I quickly try to figure out if he fits this protocol or not.  Some of the signs - bragging about how much he knows about China already, showing off his Chinese, doesn't ask you any questions about your experience here etc..  If he does then I likely won't try to make much an effort to befriend him as it just takes too much time and is quite a painful process.   

Robk:

What does "showing off his Chinese" mean?

 

If he speaks Chinese to a Chinese person, does that mean he is showing off? 

 

Most Chinese don't know "White Russian" so I have to say it in Chinese lol

10 years 18 weeks ago
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10 years 18 weeks ago
 
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I don't bother.

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10 years 18 weeks ago
 
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Shifu

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I judge everyone.

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Great question slice, and there are some great answers here.

 

I try not to judge people, but think it's human nature to judge, while being blind to our own faults. That's a trap that's difficult to avoid anywhere, not just in China. That said, when we got to hang out with other expats, I was mostly just so happy to have company where I didn't have to watch every word that judging them didn't even come into my head.

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During the 2 first years of being in Asia, yeah, I was judgmental. Why those guys are here, why his gf is so young compared to him, why they don't bother mixing with the locals and learn the language, etc, etc. Me, I do this and that, they don't, blablabla.. yawn... Of course, with broad judgments like that, I was proven wrong most of the time, things are more complex than they look. Now, if I ever meet an other expat and we talk, I will just ask him/her to tell him his story, I will tell mine, and beer will flow ^^

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10 years 18 weeks ago
 
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I dont like French.They think they are some shit or something.

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I laugh at the U.S guys who come here and feel as if they are King of China or Asia, a lot of foreigners come here and for some reason love themselves so much that they think they are 1#, they can't even say hi, because they are king, haha I call them DisneyLand dreamers.

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Shifu

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Are we really that secure that we have to judge everybody all the time?  I know tons of people that do the party day in day out thing, I also know people very serious about learning Mandarin, people looking for decent jobs, and anything in between. 

 

I have friends in every one of those categories, at the very least, they are people you can say hi to or ask what's going on to.  o.O

 

Are we that insecure to assume anybody speaking Chinese is trying to show off their language skills?  Or the other people going out to bars and picking up chicks are simply doing "what comes easy to ALL of us?"   What's the point of even thinking about it?

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10 years 18 weeks ago
 
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I'm worse than Judge Judy and Judge Dredd combined, but I keep it to myself 99% of the time.

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10 years 18 weeks ago
 
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I try to avoid most foriegners  period. they seem to be rude , and on a ego trip.

i tried to make friends with some and they are just out to see how many parties, or how many one night scores they can get.

so i hang around mainly chinese. i have a few foriegn friends , but i can count them on 3 fingers. the rest are chinese.

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10 years 17 weeks ago
 
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I don't judge foreigners. I try not to judge anyone, but I do form an "opinion" sometimes:-)

 

I think the issue is that a foreigner has to have something strange about him or her to want to stay here. So you meet many more "characters" here than you would in your home country. The sane sensible people are probably more inclined to stay at home and maybe only ever come to China for a two week holiday.

Robk:

Well, there are some foreigners that are married.

 

And there is nothing wrong with exploring a new culture to broaden your views on the world and humanity in general. China has many things that force you to flip everything you know in to a 180. I could name 1000 complete opposites, that have totally baffled me but have been extremely interesting to find out. 

 

You don't figure that stuff out in two weeks buddy. 

10 years 17 weeks ago
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10 years 17 weeks ago
 
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Governor

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who we are to judge...

Iron_Monkey:

hehehehe...

10 years 17 weeks ago
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Robk:

Well, see those thumbs... 

 

I judged you! Muahahaha

10 years 17 weeks ago
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10 years 17 weeks ago
 
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Governor

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I judge everyone, expect everyone is judging me too.  This is the world we live in.  

royceH:

What are you.......a Judge?

 

9 years 51 weeks ago
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9 years 51 weeks ago
 
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Governor

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Well As I have seen and experienced,it is embedded in our brain to make judgment

about anything/anyone...sometimes we don't speak it out,sometimes the judgment

is forgotten or lost.

 

As for foreigners in China.Indeed many(if not all)pay attention  to you.After

 all there are only two kinds of species in China...either foreigner or Chinese.Chinese pay attention to you openly,but foreigners do so a bit indirect way...but they do.

 

Personally,I try to find out where is the dude from and what is he doing etc.Responses

vary depending on nationalities and persons.Genrally success rate is 30-70.I got many

friends in this way in many public places.But you need to first do a visual assessment ....as there are "ALL" kinds of foreigners in China...some to be avoided for the best !

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9 years 51 weeks ago
 
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