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Q: Goodbye eChinacities....That's it for me. I'm done here.
You know, I understand the purpose of this forum. I have been here for quite some time and have seen lots of people come and go. Now, it is I who must break away. Not that I want to because I truly love logging on and reading the posts and giving my 2 cents worth. I am not the most vocal or controversial guy here. I just like to use this site to chat and it's comforting to know I'm not alone with my experiences and feelings here in China. Guys, for that, I thank each and everyone of you.
Except one.......
When I received a private text from our little friend "ciaoAlice" last night I knew that the line of decency has been crossed and her comment has left me no alternative other than to ask for her to be banned from this site. I criticized her usage of "dun" yesterday and that led her to make the following statement to me.
She sent the following message to me....
I hope your wife has a miscarriage, Dickhead!
Now I ask you...what would warrant such a careless and hateful statement? I can't imagine any of you would even think to type such hatred.
CiaoAlice was out of line no question about it.
Wishing someone bad to happen is not right period..I was puzzled a bit why would she do that.
Few reasons.
BTW we know each other from outside the forums (no we do not talk about the Forums)
Also she ain't my GF
She is well educated...cannot go beyond this
She knows my personal life including that my wife passed away after 5 days in the intensive care..while there i have found out that she is pregnant..So I lost 2 human beings in one shot..I wasn't able to recover mentally for years.
I asked her what crossed her mind to do this.
Her explanation sounded reasonable and understood why she did that, it doesn't mean that I agree with she did next..just read what i wrote couple sentences up above.
Teasing and/or pointing out that someone English skills, is not right either..expats come from all over the world..Not only US, UK, Canada, NZ and Oz..like me I'm European and started learning English at 21...This is international Forum so pointing out someone bad English ain't right. using modern shortcuts like in SMS's and/or internet jargon ain't no big deal to me. My co-workers from UK all with high education do it to me everyday.
Derek..you failed to mention that you were the one sending PM's to her first, further pointing out her weaknesses.
PM is PM..private and you made it public..which ain't right.
Should ignore her, block her (if there is such option, never blocked nor reported anyone)
or if you really felt threatened contact the Administration team here and complain there..
You made out of this a public affair..looking for sympathy? well you have one from me.
I would be furious if someone threatened my love ones. but i would deal with this differently.
I'm getting emails threatening my life almost daily, I pay no attention to them,
Went to the police station to complain and nothing ever was done.
crimochina:
you are slick i'll give you that. threatening emails is different from a forum such as this. the owners of the site have the authority to police the site. do you understand??? whatever it is you are doing to receive threaten emails almost daily that is between you and those individuals.
Oh her english was being poked fun at big pucking deal my english gets poked fun at all the time. so that equates to wishing death on a child. why not wish death to Derek? (no offense derek) If that is reasonable to you then maybe you should take a break from china, go home and regain your humanity. you claim you lost your wife and unborn child. you of all people should understand that wishing death to a child crosses the line.
Private messages are not private . this is the internet. your emails aren't even private. your text messages aren't private. your chats aren't private.
personally i believe in free speech i don't believe anyone should be punished for what they say (unless yelling fire in a movie theatre and stuff like that) I don't think she should be banned I think being shamed for what she said is more than enough. and hopefully she apologizes, and we all move on. I believe in forgive but not forget.
Not guilty i do appreciate and thank you for bringing up the other side of the story . but understand we are adult minded individual we decide what we think for ourselves . don't tell us what we should think of the evidence, show us the evidence.
Report it but don't say your leaving the forum because of it, thats a bit childish. what she said was wrong, I dont care how educated or nice or whatever was said by not guilty, and you should have reported it to the cat, not said you dont want to play anymore.
@Derek I was privy to read your PM's to CiaoAlice and you aren't impressing me whatsoever.You made your point in the thread about the word "dun"
What are you doing in a daily life? English teacher. I see that even bringing your work to the international Forum ain't enough for you.You give private lessons via PM's stalking Chinese girls..what a Gentleman .Quote:
No one use the word "dun", this is not clever"
I won't Quote other things. Oh, so you are the clever guy here..You humiliated her, cornered her, brought her almost to tears.She had no ways to fight back,
Again I strongly disagree with her line about your wife,that you made public but desperate people in desperation situation do desperate things...She was devastated. Your mission of humiliating someone succeeded...Instead of stalking Chinese girls spend more time on your wife.Pathetic.Bottom line is that you both were wrong,,,, If that stayed in private messages you could block her or report...but you made a circus here,
looking for attention and support from your clique
crimochina:
if you are so sure of what you write then post what he wrote. because when you post a short clip and then say i will not quote the rest it seems to me that you are full of it. don't try to tell me what to think of what wrote show me what he wrote and i will decide for myself.
I am on mobile now and cannot add comment...Crimochina, I have contact with Ciao Alice not on QQ but emails, phone numbers place of work the whole 9. yards. don't you think that she gave me the full report? Derek also quoted only one line. bug off. the word private means private if others read some mail. that's very sad.
He was the instigator, provocatour..He started pm exchange..yes if something is odd the administration has the right to know but Derek made sounded like he was the recipient of the of the original PM Where in fact he initiated the whole PM exchange. Ask CiaAlice of full transcript. I haven't gotten permission from her to Quote other things.
I'm slick? Get a life keep getting laid and leave grown up subjects to others.
You have no idea who am I. if you knew you would understand why there are threats on my life. for years and not from individuls button groups of fanatics.
bottom line is that they are both guilty..public apology to each other sounds good to me.
crimochina:
you claim he was stalking her. your words not mine. that is a big allegation to make without offering any proof.
"Hi, Guilty"......I clearly wrote this at the beginning of my post...and I quote......
"I criticized her usage of "dun" yesterday and that led her to make the following statement to me."
At no time did I insinuate that she started anything. It was never my intent to hurt her or anyone else. I am not happy about this thread but the truth is the truth. She send a vile message to me, one that in the opinion of many was uncalled for. I guess that deep down she knows that too. I wish her well and you too. Let's move on. 
crimochina:
that is my point exactly. notguilty seems to be trying to spin the facts. he makes serious allegations but refuses to offer proof. and makes excuses. he's full of shit
NotGuilty:
Derek simple question and I expect simple answer
(BTW I don't like this thread as well.)
After you criticized her about using the word"dun" in the public thread.
Did you or did you not send to her a PM further criticizing her usage of this word?
Yes or No..
Be a man, and answer like a man...
derek:
We went back an forth with pm's until she dropped the miscarriage bomb. C'mon man....let it go. U can't possibly justify her words. Stop trying....u can't come out on top. I didn't attack anyone. This is over. Are u bored or something? What else can i say? Are u getting enough exposure?
Gosh! I could not believe (now I have to believe) we could go to such heated arguments in personal levels pointing fingers to each other.
I wish this forum remains cool as before where we still could discuss our broad and general issues which can be shared with others hoping that someone (or many) might have wise answers or solutions. Or, just share a frustration and calm down as long as we live in China.
I just could not understand, why would some try to post the PM on such an open forum even if it is the biggest ever insult or curse? Most importantly, why would someone bounce back with such harsh words if you haven't done anything? There must be something going on between both sides and now we are seeing here and making this echinacities forum unpleasant to read.
I truly wish people should leave their personal feuds on personal level and out of this forum.
No harm to anyone, No insult either. Adios
GuilinRaf:
This is nothing!
We have had people wishing death upon each other, REALLY profane name calling, etc. Fortunately, The-Ever Vigilant Cat-With-A-Tie is there to sort things out.
IMHO, time to lock this thread down...
mike695ca:
Why are you still here?? I thought you were leaving. Be done with it already.
