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Q: Has Anybody moved to China with their partner? Has environment changed your relationship?
I guess making the adjustment to a new country can be difficult wherever you go. Do you think people change in a new environment. For example I am going to China with my Chinese/Australian fiance. She has the advantage of family there, the language and school friends she grew up with. I think she will be supportive and patient, but it can be somehwat concerning as I know people can change depending on environment.
12 years 14 weeks ago in Relationships - China
Of course that people change as the environment changes for them. When your fiance is abroad, there is an extra burden on her because she is not in her "pond", you are. She will be dependand on you for a few or many things, depending on the individual involved.
Now, when you two are in China, the situation reverses itself, now she is in her backyard, customs and traditions, friends and family are all known to her, but not to you. You must have an open mind to see this, accept it for what it is worth, and adapt to the new environment.
And if there is true love and mutual trust, the relationship will survive this challenge. Somehow I am remainded of the story about the bird and bird cage, you must open the door and let it fly, if it returns to you, then it was yours.
Yes, I have, although my situation is slightly different to yours in that my partner is a foreigner not Chinese. We also work together and the biggest change, really, is in an irritating tendency by people we've met here is to view us as one entity not two.
The huge changes associated with starting a new life/new job/new country will certainly put you under a lot of pressure at first. Don't underestimate how much. And with you both put under pressure and your day to day lives radically changed, it naturally follows that the relationship will in some way change; it doesn't have to be a bad thing.
If you'll accept advice: oncer you arrive, do some research about the nature and symptoms of culture shock because it helped me immensely. Recognising what was happening inside my head was hugely helpful.
I was a textbook case for strong culture shock the first month/6 weeks in China, and I was by no means coming in as a wide eyed idiot. My partner thankfully restrained himself from pushing me down a steep staircase during this time, but it must have been a close run thing some days...
Finding and reading an article that precisely described what I was feeling, with the knowledgeable assumption that it would be a passing phase, helped immensely to adjust back to a more normal mindset.
