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Q: Help, I live with a hypochondriac.....
My GF is definitively a lovely person, but also a hypochondriac. All my life, as I step outside and the sun is shinning, I sneeze twice, and that's it. Everytime I do it in front of her, she shows up later with teas, throat mixtures, pills, the whole works because I caught a cold.
Yesterday, I was feeling abitt cold, even to the extend of a small shiver. I mentioned that shivers are a sympton of kindney infection. She grabbed my hand, rushed me to local hospital and told doctor I had a kidney problem. It took some time, and the doctor confirmed, I was not sick at all. I can not clear splem from my throat as locals do, I generally have one cough to loosen it up, and then get rid of it on a Kleenex. Everytime I do it I get for one week some tea to clear my lungs and passages.
I have always have excellent health, no operations except for tonsil removal, in my family all live to be over 100 years of age. But to her I have very poor health, and I am always sick.
How do I deal with this, please ?
12 years 16 weeks ago in Health & Safety - China
seek the advice of a therapist... i mean in a good sense... being over protective can be sometime irritating, but what can you do, that's the love...
you can also tell your dear love, not to worry too much, express your feelings when you have to, don't always let yourself be told what to do... good communication is key in a relationship
HappyExPat:
One thing is to worry, to be concerned, to be in love abd care for the well being of your dear one, and another, totally different, is to be a hypochondriac, a person who sees sicknesses where none is. I do not need anyone holding my arm while walking, but she thinks I am too old and does that all the time, and I am sick of telling her there is no need. If I go to WC for No. 2 more than once a day, she claims I have diarrhea and runs to me with medicine. If I ride my electric bike, and my eyes get waterly due to the wind on my face, I have an eye infection and must use antibiotic oftalmic cream. Hell no, I do not need to seek the advise of a therapist, she needs it a lot more than me.
bigkrishna:
sorry, but i meant for your dear one... what i can deduce is that your beloved one is also showing signs of obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), behavioral problems should be dealt carefully, please try don't try radical change... ask the advice from your preferred physician, explain this problem to your doctor first, then, approach your beloved one...
My mother-in-law was a western style doctor for over 30 years. My wife has a degree in pharmacology and is the GM of an international pharmacutical company.
But like you, with just one sneeze, cough or nose blow, and I am told that I am very sickly and need some cantonese soup with this or that herb in it. It is a cultural thing. It is the way they show they care and know how to take care of you. All you can do is grin and bare it. Fighting it is useless. Just keep in mind that she loves you and has your best health at heart.
bigkrishna:
i agree with you.. but being a grown adult, it makes things harder over time.. what happen then in case of a serious accident or illness? psychologically speaking, more harm will reach those who cares too much
My wife is also quick with the concern and yes it can be anoying at times.
but no way to the extent of your problem.
The best part is I know she realy dose care about me.
is she a parinod type of person?
I myself can worry over little things from time to time.
hope this helps
I also, am experiencing this type of behaviour from my wife and her mother. They insist I am not healthy and have made quite a shopping list of things I cannot eat anymore. I did get sick three years ago and was bedridden with gout for three weeks. Since that time their way of treating me has changed. They think I am weak and fear that I may once again have the problems I had three years ago.
My medicine cabinet looks like a drug store.
Last week I caught a cold, nothing serious...but look out! I was bombarded with boxes of pills, demands that I go directly to the hospital and of course, have the injection drip. Ah, yes, the fail safe, the inevitable "IV". I am convinced that thing is nothing more that a placebo anyways. But they swear by it.
Sorry bout the mini rant there.....anyways, I hear ya....sometimes it's very irritating. They love me, I know that but sometimes it does get unbearable.
philbravery:
haha the old IV in the arm trick we could host a question by to that one by its self.
I am a semi-constant sufferer of gout/arthritis, as well as a knee that is weak (and sometimes painful). Otherwise, I'm actually quite healthy. So, when I do get some minor annoyance, I got molly-coddled about doctors, hospitals, medicines, etc etc. My drugs area also looks like a pharmacy...
Everytime they say "have you seen a doctor?", I say I already know what they will say... and on those occasions I have gone to see their doctors, lo and behold! They did tell me what I expected, and told me to get the drugs I've already got!!! Amazing!
So, when anyone around me tries that over-protective BS (to the point of annoying me), I start gently out with the "I've managed to survive this long quite well on my own to this age without all of this, so you really don't need to worry so much", to the much more brutal (but effective) " I really value my independence - my ability to look after myself well, and to adapt if something goes wrong. I know you care, but you're taking away a hugely imporant part of my being, my personality, by trying to control things like this. Please, I'm quite capable of looking after myself - AND of asking for help when I need it! When you keep keep telling me what to do, and do all those things without asking me, it makes me feel I don't want to be around you any more". She got huffy (probably a little scared), and did the "Fine! I won't try to help you any more!" ("Good!!") End result? Now, if I need help, I ask for it. When I'm sick or injured, they (friends) tend to hold back a bit, and just ask if they can help.
Remember the culture you're in - it's the woman's role to look after the husband, while he does his best to look after the family. If the man can't look after the family, then the family suffers. So, she's going to be over-protective for her and the family's sake. It won't be much of a conscious thought, but it is built-in!!
i can understand your GF, i think she is not hypochondriac,just too sensitive,i am also this kind of girl, i think we just want to make sure/confirm , maybe your GF zodiac is also cancer. i somehow believe the zodiac just like many ppl believe in god.
anyways,it is not big deal, just ask her to RELAX. she would be ok.
