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Q: How to barf in a squatter ?
So, I was just down having a quick round of noodle, and hooray, a piece of utterly rotten foul tasting beef made it to my mouth. Instant nausea, so I go to the bathroom/cleaning-closet to find a somewhat clean squatter. I decided to go for the sink, who cares if it will clog up, I just couldn't figure out how to squat at that excact moment as noodles started flying. Aiming for the squatter from 2 meters up, would seem like things would splash too much around, and I have just washed my shoes due to a recent, step-in-poo incident.
Since, I considered if the correct solution would have been to simply stay at the table and barf back in the bowl the food came in, I was hungry enough to be sure it would have not run over.
According to my experience at an all-you-can-drink-sake Japanese restaurant in GZ, the correct procedure is to open the stall door (if there is one) and let fly.
It was the closest thing to a Roman vomitorium that I could imagine. Not just the pukers, but the chain reaction that it starts when others walk in to the facilities for a mere 'bleeding of the lizard.'
Mr_Sausage:
A vomitorium is a passage situated below or behind a tier of seats in an amphitheatre or a stadium, through which big crowds can exit rapidly at the end of a performance.
Nothing to do with vomiting!
May the gods strike ye down! 
Sinobear:
I'm sticking by my analogy: go to a Justin Bieber concert and I'm sure you'll want to vomit around/under your seat and escape quickly.
May Caligula take a liking to your sister on her wedding night!
All you can really do is
1. try to get to the squatter and not puke all over someone's table while running there with your hand over your mouth trying to hold it in. It's not always that easy.
2.bend over at the hips and try to get as much as you can into the squatter, sort of like when you puke into your toilet at home.
3. try not to splatter your shoes too much.
Its a simple splatter of preference.
From up high, to splatter the matter across your shoes
Or hands and knees in the splatter of someone else's matter
I have yet to have this intriguing incident occur. Upon reading abut the dilemma, thanks to you...(Scan)...I just cannot imagine not having a nice (preferably clean and white) piece of porcelain to HUG while getting rid of some interior irritations. Believe me, I have erred, in my early attempts to really squat at a squatter.... not a pleasant experience for a middle age man, such as I am. extreme GUILT for a moment or two... then, hurry up and get lost in the inevitable crowd.
Scandinavian:
yup, nothing soothes a man like the cool hug of the ceramic throne.
'When I'm in the squatter ready to puke, I always worry for the 'rebounds'. That's really disgusting!
Scandinavian:
you mean, when your projectile vomit picks up the invisible leftovers of millions of strangers before you ?
I would just run outside the restaurant instead, like the locals do. Can't count how many times I've seen someone bolting out of a restaurant or bar and puke in the gutter or all over the sidewalk as their friends come out to help them...
Squat facing the hole, not towards the door.
Stuff goes down hole.
Simple.
(alternatively, puke on the floor and carry on like nothing happened, like blokes here.)
Yes, the toilets here lack the “form follows function” that a design needs to be fully useful. Honestly vomiting would be less of a concern to me than what does one do if they have what is commonly referred to as “explosive diarrhea” Seriously the probability of getting sh!t all over your pant legs and or shoes has to be a real possibility. If you jam your backside too for in the bowl you’re just going to end up with some hellish back-splatter. Nightmares scenarios of this type can cause me major anxiety.
As far as barfing I would just go outside or look for a fairly clean trash can. If you use the outside method odds are a stray dog will eat it only to eventually get eaten itself. Such is the circle of life in the Middle Kingdom
I just projectile vomit onto the streets/floor. You can also stand-vomit onto a squatter if you need to.
It all begins with a rotten piece of meat, so there's a culprit. Why be shy then?
Just barf in the middle of the restaurant, slam the bowl with the remains to the wall, and walk out. If the owner/cook try to stop you (you're leaving obviously without paying), do the only thing they might understand. And I say might.
Scandinavian:
I agree, factor in that I was dining with wife and MIL, in this place chosen by the wife as she knew this was just the kind of place the MIL would like.
