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Q: How do Western guys treat their dates?

Will western guys pay the girls ' bill off when they are dating?

10 years 18 weeks ago in  Relationships - China

 
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Comments (25)
Posts: 561

Governor

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depends.  i would love to have paid, but i forgot my wallet.  why don't you go ahead and grab this one.

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10 years 18 weeks ago
 
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...so "how you treat a date" is just about paying. What about holding doors, giving up your jacket because women are always cold etc. 

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10 years 18 weeks ago
 
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Victoria,

 

Your questions are, for me, one of the main attractions of eChinaCities. This one has a little less personal drama, delusion and vanity than I was hoping for, but there's still enough to go with.

 

Firstly - Western guys aren't all the same. They aren't all bound by the same set of social principles (such as how to conduct a date, who pays, etc.).

 

Secondly - Are you talking about paying the bill, or paying your electricity/water/internet bill? The words "paying the girl's bill off" are a little confusing here. Assuming you mean the former, I think there are two reasonable approaches:

 

1. Split the bill 50/50. It's romantic and means you are operating on a basis of mutual respect.

 

2. The richer person pays. I am generally happy to indulge Chinese girls because I'm financially comfortable.

 

Thirdly - As Scandinavian mentioned, how a man "treats you" shouldn't just be about money. I know your appreciation of people is shallow at best, but you need to find a guy who is considerate and emotionally mature, can engage you in interesting conversations, and who makes you feel good about yourself. Not one who pays the bill in exchange for sex.

mike168229:

That is a very special answer.

10 years 18 weeks ago
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10 years 18 weeks ago
 
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All Western guys are from the same mold. Western is one country, with one language and one culture. Italian, French, Germans, Canadians are just vague names, those people are just same same. They eat and date the very same way. A bit like Chinese, Japanese and Koreans, they are all the same, really.

  * Split the bill

  * After 2 dates, bed time !

  * After 5 years of casual sex, they finally admit they love you and will marry you, too old for fun anymore.

Hint of the day : sarcasm

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10 years 18 weeks ago
 
Posts: 915

Shifu

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I like my dates bathed in a little muscatel and topped with walnuts.  And maybe some whipped cream. Unsweetened, of course. And fresh. It's figgin' finga lickin' good!!

Yeah, that's how I treat my dates.

mArtiAn:

  I'm exactly the same, I just find it a problem sometimes when the cream gets matted in the leg hair.

10 years 18 weeks ago
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Red_Fox:

Ha ha! Martian, Vicky HAS no leg hair. We partied last Saturday night and mannnnn... What a date! Yum yum!

10 years 18 weeks ago
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10 years 18 weeks ago
 
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Shifu

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Why yes, all Western guys (and all guys from this mysterious West, due to their homogeneity, share the same gender values, ethics, and morals) will be more than happy to hemorrhage cash for their date. 

 

So, Victoria, grab yer pick 'n' helmet, 'cause it's time to go a-gold diggin'.

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10 years 18 weeks ago
 
Posts: 79

Governor

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You guys are actually encouraging vic to ask more of such questions............

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10 years 18 weeks ago
 
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I think when we all make a joke out of victoria she takes all these for compliments... Thnx god all chinese are not the same.. 

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10 years 18 weeks ago
 
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i will always pay the bill for a meal unless the woman wants to split the bill, if she wants to split the bill, then i jokingly say, i insist on paying all of the tip so i can keep some of my sexist caveman dignity, they usually smile or laugh and agree.

i usually pull out the chair for them and hold the door, and help with the coat, if the woman is offended by holding the door, sometimes this happens, i usually end the date right then and tell them if they need a fb call me, if not, never call me and i leave the date early.

if they dont plan on working and want to be a housewife, i never call them again, the idea of working my ass off for pseudo-queen is not appealing to me.

if i pay for everything all the time and no sex by the end of the third date, she is ancient history, rich girls and virgins are exempt from this rule,.

my opinions are not that of the younger generation, though it should be, hehe

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10 years 18 weeks ago
 
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Boys like to take bicycle's on dates ,then they pay

mike168229:

With trips to the 'clinic'.

10 years 18 weeks ago
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10 years 18 weeks ago
 
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I like to use a dog collar and leash. I pay extra for this.

mArtiAn:

And who says romance is dead?

10 years 18 weeks ago
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bryan.mcminn:

Dominanation romance!

10 years 13 weeks ago
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10 years 18 weeks ago
 
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you have said that you have previously had foreign boy-friends. how did they treat you??

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10 years 18 weeks ago
 
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'bring up the Gimp'

mArtiAn:

But it's my night off.

10 years 18 weeks ago
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10 years 18 weeks ago
 
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Hey you all, guys are red-blooded guys, anywhere.

 

Western guys go right in for the kill, just about like every other guy that I have ever met.  Sometimes more veneer, sometimes less.

 

Something like: we have date, I take you home, you make me happy, then I go home.

 

Chinese guys same as above, sometimes but after the last  "then I go home", there is usually a "then I go home to my wife".

 

Bien triste as the French say.

DrMonkey:

Bad luck or overwhelming probabilities ? I swear, most of other Westerners I know tend to spend time to know the other one, before (eventually) celebrating this in a bed :) Okay, some are on the hunt for casual sex between consenting adults. Maybe they don't say/hint it frankly ?

10 years 18 weeks ago
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10 years 18 weeks ago
 
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I have been on many dates so I can tell you.

 

The boy will pick you up from your house, if they are poor they will use a car or scooter but if they are really trying to impress you, they will use a horse.

You then go for food, because you are the girl you shouldn't eat, only drink water. The boy will probably order a very big meal and you should watch him eat.  If he offers you food - say no.  It is offensive and against tradition for a girl to eat on a first date.

He will then most likely, take you dancing. You should prepare at least 3 dances to show him, and make sure they are 3 different styles of dance as you are trying to make him like you.  Also bring a change of shoes with you for this.

If he doen't like you by now he will take you home and probably demand that you pay for his meal, if he does like you he will present you wth a pebble.  He would have found this pebble between the time of asking you for a date and actually going on the date.  The pebble will be very special and round and it means that he likes you very much.  If he does give you the pebble, remember to take with you pictures of yourself as a baby, immediately after he gives you the pebble - show him the pictures.  This is to give him an idea of what your chldren will look like.

 

Hope this helps.

mArtiAn:

  You're clearly a very traditional young lady, but the youth of today seem to be dropping some of these long held traditions, I am sorry to say. Nowadays the 'pebble of hope' as it has long been called, is slowly being replaced by a Foxes Glacier Mint or sometimes a Jolly Rancher, the idea being that should the girl not wish to return the young man's effections, at least she gets to take home a bit of candy.

10 years 18 weeks ago
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Hulk:

Spot on. This is how I woo'd my wife. Except instead of pebbles, I gave her chicken bones from KFC that I sucked dry.

10 years 18 weeks ago
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Victoria1987:

Wow,Phil.you had slept with many women before getting married,and you were laughing at me for having slept with many men,what a funny joke?And the funny thing was you slept with a married woman as well,sometimes you slept with woman randomly met on QQ.Are you going to make me laugh a lot?Wow,and now you are going to speak loudly about how good you are and you married a virgin.hahahahaha.well.

10 years 18 weeks ago
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slice_999_k:

Victoria, did Phil not give you a pebble? Don't be angry.  Like Martian said, he could have given you a fox's glacier which is almost insulting.  KFC bones do the trick also, if he gave you them, well, quite franky..get your coat. You've pulled.

10 years 17 weeks ago
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Victoria1987:

What I  want to tell it>You guys are shit and losers.lol,that is it.You think in loser's way like Phil.Normal ppl kown how to respect,losers fucking around and then told how good they are and women who have slept with several men are bitch,and men are just fine.What i want say is men are nothing better than women,women in the company played a main role as well,many men have to even report to our women,women have the right to sleep with the men they like,not just men.You stupid

10 years 17 weeks ago
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diehard:

yes victoria, women can have sex with whoever they want, but there are a lot of sexists out there. 

10 years 17 weeks ago
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sorrel:

another classy comment from Victoria

10 years 17 weeks ago
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royceH:

Ooooh, the bos ses daughter.....

10 years 17 weeks ago
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philbravery:

EDIT : Please note the Phil that the Bike is reffering  too is Hulk and not me , However there were similarities I prefer not to talk about 

10 years 17 weeks ago
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MissA:

If he really likes you he'll turn up on an animal relevant to his country. Back in the days when I dated Australian guys, I wouldn't go anywhere unless he turned up on a kangaroo. My American ex picked my up on a buffalo (boring - should've picked he was a dud).

 

 

10 years 17 weeks ago
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slice_999_k:

Moral of the story MissA - Australians are better?

10 years 17 weeks ago
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MissA:

My boyfriend isn't Australian, slice, so I can't quite go along with that... 

10 years 13 weeks ago
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10 years 18 weeks ago
 
Posts: 35

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us western guys are always gonna want some p*ssy at the end of the night

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10 years 17 weeks ago
 
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Better, by and large.

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10 years 17 weeks ago
 
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Fun fact:  Prostitutes use sex in order to get guys to pay their bills!

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10 years 17 weeks ago
 
Posts: 443

Shifu

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Usually the guy will pay when he takes the girl to dinner and buy her the occasional gift around special times such as birthdays.

 

Later, if you decide the relationship is progressing well and you move in together then things will usually be shared (as long as both people are working).

 

When dating western men wouldn't support the lifestyle of the woman by paying her rent and bills, giving her money to go shopping.

 

As others have said it is based on mutual respect and understanding that the relationship isn't about money but happiness.

Victoria1987:

How about after they got married?Still split the bill?

10 years 17 weeks ago
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hiddenjelly:

Me and my wife usually use the credit card as there are discounts at most places, it's her card as I can't get one here. Each month when we get paid we just put it together and put some aside for saving and the rest goes towards paying the bills.

 

It's not split, it's together and we take what we need when we need.

 

In the UK at least, most couples after married and some who are not married but are in a serious relationship will have a joint bank account with two cards, one each, and both salaries will go into that account.

10 years 17 weeks ago
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10 years 17 weeks ago
 
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It differs per country. Dutch go dutch (50/50), British will often pay. But keep in mind that foreigners meet women as equals, not as overvalued marriage meat. We will try to impress you if you are worth our time, but we don't feel obligated to woo over demanding dates. If you insist on being a passive bimbo raking in gifts, you're only good or a quick f*ck and nothing more.

nicholasba:

foreigners meet women as equals, not as overvalued marriage meat.

thumbs up!

10 years 13 weeks ago
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coineineagh:

Foreign men are not under any family pressure to get a wife and make babies. It's up to us whether we want that or not, and there are many things about Chinese women which would make it difficult to be accepted by western families. It helps if you have some depth of character, and don't have thankless expectations of being showered with gifts.

10 years 13 weeks ago
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10 years 13 weeks ago
 
Posts: 126

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When i have dated i paid for everything. Meals transportation , and gifts. But the moment i showed up to meet her parents, they refused to have me pay for anything.

if he is a real gentleman then he will be honorable and be respectful and not treat women as a piece of meat.

I may be old fashioned , but it has served me well and i can sleep at night knowing i treat women with respect.

Now that i am married , being respectful and honorable has paid off , she has higher respect for me.

 

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10 years 13 weeks ago
 
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Usually the woman pays for everything for me when we go on a date I expect nothing but the best.

 

However I try to make it clear that this guarantees nothing at the end of the night...

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10 years 13 weeks ago
 
Posts: 64

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Pay off the bill? I'll by dinner, but you're on your own when it comes to your credit card 

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10 years 13 weeks ago
 
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let me tell you the truth dear vicky,,westerner guys never pay thr date's bill besides thy bring her home,,cut her body in millions of pieces with a very blunt knife,,make a soup of it and eat with bai cai jiao zi...thats the real way all westerner treat thr dates,,personally i ll suggest you to choose a chinese guy if you dont wanna turn into soup )) 

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10 years 13 weeks ago
 
Posts: 68

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ah the smart ass SAMSARA is at it again go home ya mole

Hotwater:

Do you have nothing to do but drag up 13 weeks old comments to have a go at some one?

 

Wanker.......

10 years 5 weeks ago
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10 years 5 weeks ago
 
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