All good here with mine

The Men folk in our Family tend to share the Blame

Lucky you.  My first mother in-law went on a three day hunger strike to get my gf to leave me. The girl left, and I got an e-mail from her three years later telling me how much she misses me.

The one I have now is not too bad, except that she keeps asking me every time  I see her when I will marry her daughter.

To my present m-in-l, I try to be polite and respectful.  If I disagree, I say like this: "You have good points.  But have you thought of....Have you considered...."

I let the present gf and father in law have the arguments with her.

No problems so far. My wife will be here in 2 weeks to meet my parents. 

My mother in law is a well meaning person. The main problem with her is how she treats her daughter. When my wife and my mother in law are in the same room my wife does not exist, only the command of the mother. Their relationship is f'ed up. She will do EVERYTHING for her daughter. She has offered to buy a car, she has offered the down payment for a new apartment (she finds it unfitting that we rent) etc. We actually considered buying an apartment at the time, but the bloodmoney comes at a cost. Has to be a place with easy access for mother in law, anything more than 10 mins away on foot would oddly fail due to bad feng shui or some such nonsense. 

I seem to be loosing the battle about her giving us a car, saying no just means she will buy if for herself but then we can borrow it, go on trips with her etc. Yeah. 

She is massively promoting the idea of moving to the US, so she can come with us. No offense to the Americans, but I just don't want to live in the US. The argument is that education etc would be better for our KID (singular) so in many ways it is offensive to my own nationality. The good news is that my home country is pretty much bulletproof to mother in laws, it is difficult enough to get the wife there. 

Any talks about having children near her means telling my wife how much mother in law suffered when she carried her, how tough it is to be pregnant. She is incapable of being supportive. 

We have only had my parents and the mother in law in the same location once, my parents were here for some weeks. After two days my mother said to me. Maybe you should consider moving back to get those two apart. This from a person who has no way of knowing what my wife and her mother were talking about. 

Oh, and of cause all the superstition.....

I love my in-laws and my family!!!! ....  lot more people than I expected .... but all good

I'll do a little ranting here... the biggest reason I share so much of what happens to me in China — on this board — is because I want others to be able to use this information and perhaps learn from my experiences. Maybe it will help someone someday: a lurker who is afraid to post, or just doesn't want to; or perhaps someone afraid to speak up about these things. I don't know who/how it will help exactly, but I feel it's worth talking about.

No problems here. Not anymore. They've finally accepted me after I, Night Wolf (I'm Native American, so this is fitting), defeated them in Mortal Kombat: I performed a Brutality on Liu Kang, her brother; a Babality on her mother, a.k.a. Sheeva; and a Friendship on Shang Tsung, her father.

My wife also did some heavy convincing on her part. Her entire family finally realized that I'm not the guy that gossipping neighbors were saying I was. You know, the ol' "He has a wife and kids back home in America," "His passport is fake!", "He's a human trafficker, he'll sell you into slavery!" routine? Yawn.

Anyway I'm going to visit them in a couple days. I'm actually really surprised by the way things have turned out. So far, so good. She went out of her way to apologize to me, and it took me several months to even respond. I am still a little angry... but I think this is a miracle...

We got the full support of her parents now that they finally realized that me taking her to America wasn't an empty promise, that I was really an American, etc. It started around the time we went to the U.S. consulate a few times together.

So, if you really, really want to tough it out, and your woman is willing to stay with you regardless of her parents, I'd say go for it. You'll have a winner on your hands. But if she isn't willing to go against her parents, you got yourself a loser and should just go find someone else.

My inlaws weren't really much trouble. It was all the outlaws in China that created problems.

Mine are fine, just a few ordinary back pains, nothing serious. Scan, do not worry about having your Mother in Law go to the states with you, immigration these days only allow your spouse and child unless it causes severe hardship on your family. This law was put into place to stop 3 generations of family immigrating from one marriage.

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I don't explain myself to my mother... I don't see why I should have to explain myself to hers.

Long story...but I can not live with a Chinese matriacy. I am my own man and will not play their games.

Afterall...when you meet someone you meet that person,you never ask 'Oh,let's meet your mother !'

I like that tegg, I say the same thing. When in Rome my a**. Scan, I only know the immigration laws for Canada and America, wish I could help you out there, could try a shock collar. When ever my in laws get too out of line, I start cussing with the best of the Chinese, we all are quiet as I give the cold blooded murder stare for about 2 min. we all laugh about it and continue our way. Funny, every time this happens, her mother always slaps me on my back and says, you have a lot of spirit.

Mined are also fine, only problem is that my mother in law is overprotecting her daughter, calling her 4 times every day to check if she has taken medicine, if she has a temperature and other things mostly related to health. Other then that my in laws are great

Mine were awful until I threw my toys out, shouted at them and told them they were bloody interfering all the time and to piss off.

Now I hardly hear from them, they are not at the house every farts end and I don't have to be uncomfortable in my own home.

Although the missus still talks to her mum every, single, day.

I have technically had one-and-a-half sets of in-laws.

The first set were very good.

The second set, I had met once until they recently came to live with us (Long story). 

I can tell you, it's probably the end of our relationship unless something changes very soon.

Does anyone like in-laws any where, not just in China.

No interest in having in-laws. I barely have interest in my own family never mind anyone else's family.

in-laws and their little ways are tolerated for the sake of the loved one. You can be lucky and get some you actually like.

Here goes...

My girlfriend and I moved in together a few months back.  All was good.

Before we moved in together, she asked me about her family living with us.  I hadn't met them before but I said it could happen, but they need to plan it properly so tht we don't regret it later.  It never went anywhere for different reasons.

Fast forward a few month...

Gf asks me again, and tells me that her mother is going blind in one eye because her health is not good.  Due to the fact that my gf is not good at looking after herself, I thought it would be good for the pair of them, so I agreed.  There was one condition:  Her brother didn't smoke in our home.  They came and have been with us for just over two weeks.

I have found it difficult to accept some things that they do, such as her brother's yapping when we eat.  However, I solve this by not eating with them.  Also, they cook and didn't clean their mess.  However, we got over these things.  Except one thing.

Her brother refused to stop smoking in our home.  I hate smoking.  I respect those who want to smoke, but this is my home.  It came to a  head last night when, amongst trying to fix all the problems (no-one else including the gf has bothered trying), I again asked him to stop smoking in my home.  Go outside etc.  He refused.  He then proceeded to lambaste my character which I can understand because I have been getting really grumpy and angry recently - having arguments trying to solve all this.  However, it falls on deaf ears.  It also has made my girlfriend tired.  Eventually, it ended with me punching him in anger because he said that he and his mother disapproved with me marrying their daughter/sister because of my anger.  Also, they can't accept my divorce and son.

The other problem is that my girlfriend and I are sleeping on a mattress on the floor in our living room, and I am being woken up all the time.  I also can't do nice things with my girlfriend.  It has taken us to go to Beijing and have time together - possibly resulting in a baby being made.

Anyway, I told the brother to get out of my home.  His mother, and also his sister went with him.  Girlfriend said she would come back.  She didn't.  We continued to argue.

What do I do to fix this?

While they're not technically my in-laws (we're not married, and no immediate plans to get married), I did have a small issue with her father.  Apparently he asked one of his buddies who is friends with my boss to check out my story about my job and where I worked.  I found out about it through the grapevine a few weeks later.  My gf has been to my place many many many times, which is a dormitory at my company....so I'm not sure what the old man was after.  She seemed really surprised when I told her about it.

I guess what he found out satisfied him, ended up getting invited to her mom's birthday party.  They love getting the laowai drunk, even if they can't trust him or their own daughter