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Q: Know any good Chinese cures for flatulence?

  I know of numerous ways to bring it about, just not sure how to turn off that gas-leak. I share a bed with my wife and kid and after a night's eructations there's a big enough methane cloud floating above our bed that if the light catches it right it looks like the aurora borealis. I did hear of a Chinese leaf or herb that can help, and God knows i'm desperate. Know any good tricks?

5 years 44 weeks ago in  General  - China

 
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Sleep with a candle between you legs. By burning off the gas right away you will never see it accumulate to the critical amount where it will blow out your windows. A pilot light in the underwear is best if your sheets and duvet is made from pure asbestos. (don't worry, it can still have the Superman logo onit) 

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5 years 44 weeks ago
 
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Governor

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Try sticking some kind of lid up your ass like a wine bottle cork. Who knows, you might even like it!

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5 years 44 weeks ago
 
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Governor

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The only tip I've been given here is to let it out...

 

I've seen, heard and smelled this advice followed by many locals. It probably works.

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5 years 44 weeks ago
 
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You just confirmed all of our suspicions.   You are Full of Sh*t  .

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5 years 44 weeks ago
 
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My wife always insists I go take a dump when I start. Have you tried that?

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5 years 44 weeks ago
 
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Governor

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The GIGO(garbage in garbage out)principle applies here. You may want to pay a closer attention to what you ingest.

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5 years 44 weeks ago
 
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What causes farts? rotting vegetation or vegetation being digested in your gut. So maybe you are eating to many vegetables? Try skip roping just before bed time or take Beno.

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5 years 44 weeks ago
 
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You can try taking digestive enzymes.  They cut the flatulance because they help you digest your food.  You can buy them from abroad quite cheaply.  Here in China, if you can't find the enzymes, try a piece of pineapple or papaya with every meal.

Also be aware of what you eat.  For some people certain foods make them a walking symphony like milk,cabbage, etc.

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5 years 44 weeks ago
 
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