The place to ask China-related questions!
Beijing Shanghai Guangzhou Shenzhen Chengdu Xi'an Hangzhou Qingdao Dalian Suzhou Nanjing More Cities>>

Categories

Close
Welcome to eChinacities Answers! Please or register if you wish to join conversations or ask questions relating to life in China. For help, click here.
X

Verify email

Your verification code has been sent to:

Didn`t receive your code? Resend code

By continuing you agree to eChinacities's Privacy Policy .

Sign up with Google Sign up with Facebook
Sign up with Email Already have an account? .
anonymous
0
0
You must be a registered user to vote!
You must be a registered user to vote!
0

Q: My chinese gf said her mother needs 300000 rmb urgently.What to do?

My chinese gf called me yesterday and her family has a big problem and her mother needs 300 thousand rmb now.

I asked about the details and she said she can not explain. Later she told me that her mother rented a big place and did renovation work for an a place which will be a small hotel. She said her mother`s friends promised to give her 300 thousand rmb and then that friend changed her mind.Now she tell me that workers want their money.

Later that night she gave back my ipad that she borrowed for one day and i luckily found one open chinese web site to buy plane tickets to honkong which costs around 2400 rmb for around 5 days. I used google translate to find about the places since  i cant read chinese.And when i clicked to  back button and i saw another train ticket to nanchang which costs around 600 rmb.

I also managed to undo the tabs that she opened in the ipad and see other web site that she visited.

She was checking the web site of very expensive hotel in sanya which costs 7500 rmb for two night with private swimming pool.

Alarm bells started to ring.How the hell someone needs a lot of money for her mother will check expensive hotels and travel packages which are extremely expensive.

By the way the web sites that she checked really matches her profile since my gf doesnt work for 6 months and she wen to hongkong, singapore,macau with her rich friend which is a gold digger. I think she saw that kind of luxury life style ideas from her.

 

So what do you think i should do? How can i prove that she is lying?

 

Updates: Now she denies that her cousin was checking the ipad and he was thinking of going somewehere for holiday and she suggested hongkong and sanya for him. It really doesnt make sense. How the hell you will need money for your mother and suggest your cousin to go to sanya. What kind of sick family is it?

 

I will not give any money at all. I am sure that her idea was getting some money from me by asking too much.

 

Updates 2 : I told her what i have found in ipad and i blamed her. She said her cousin looked at it. Then i said i want to see the place where the construction is going on. she said she will show me and we will break up after i see. Eventually she was telling the truth that workers were doing a construction for 20 rooms.

She said that i am stupid not to trust her and she said she wants to break up. Then i regret my suspicion. It is because of the fact that there are so many chinese girls doing this kind of lies and i taught my gf is one of them but eventually she was telling me the truth.

 

 

10 years 10 weeks ago in  Relationships - China

 
Highest Voted
Posts: 3837

Emperor

4
4
You must be a registered user to vote!
You must be a registered user to vote!
0

you will have to tell us what happened on this ! 

so many posters fail to give the outcome of their problem and it can be quite frustrating 

angry

Report Abuse
10 years 10 weeks ago
 
Answers (1 - 25 of 66)
Comments (33)
Posts: 421

Governor

0
0
You must be a registered user to vote!
You must be a registered user to vote!
0

Run.

Nessquick:

For sure.

10 years 10 weeks ago
Report Abuse

ScotsAlan:

And remember to take your ipad.

10 years 10 weeks ago
Report Abuse

ironman510:

Run and call A-Rod from the MLB, he can help you run faster, but you'll be suspended for a year.

10 years 10 weeks ago
Report Abuse

RRoy:

Seriously.............Run like hell!!!!!

10 years 9 weeks ago
Report Abuse
Report Abuse
10 years 10 weeks ago
 
Posts: 1630

Emperor

0
0
You must be a registered user to vote!
You must be a registered user to vote!
0

Run.

Paulberger:

Yes run, run to into Derek's arms.  

10 years 10 weeks ago
Report Abuse
Report Abuse
10 years 10 weeks ago
 
Posts: 9631

Emperor

0
0
You must be a registered user to vote!
You must be a registered user to vote!
0

If this is not a scam, it is not your problem. If in fact the story is correct, then you could offer to the mother she can come stay for free, to help lower her expenses so she can pay her debt. 

 

But I'd probably not move as much as a jiao for this. 

Scandinavian:

you should probably go buy a bottle of vodka, you will need it no matter what. 

10 years 10 weeks ago
Report Abuse
Report Abuse
10 years 10 weeks ago
 
Posts: 2488

Emperor

0
0
You must be a registered user to vote!
You must be a registered user to vote!
0

Why are you wasting your time on this site when you should be changing your locks???

Dont give her a dime. Say you dont have it.  If she wants that much money but doesnt want to explain, then ..... i dont know why your even asking this question. If we all said give it to her , would you?

ironman510:

He must have met this girl in Dongguan.. The diggers come from there according to a Chinese friend of mine.

10 years 10 weeks ago
Report Abuse

mike695ca:

haha i was always under the impression that hookers come from dongguan and gold diggers come from the poor provinces like hunan. relax guys im sure your wife is great. i dont mean ALL of them

10 years 10 weeks ago
Report Abuse
Report Abuse
10 years 10 weeks ago
 
Posts: 3256

Emperor

0
0
You must be a registered user to vote!
You must be a registered user to vote!
0

There's a 'history' function in most web navigators (Firefox, for instance, have it in its main menu), which allows you to check which website have been visited before. Most people seems to not know about this functionality, that might apply to your GF.

1) Confront her to the evidence *quietly* *without a shout*.

2) Leave room for doubt, like, "were you dreaming about going have holidays in a nice fancy place ?". Explain that this and asking for 300K RMB a the same time triggered some red lights.

3) She is likely to shout, cry and make a huge drama, first denying, then calling you a cheap stake, cruel, etc etc.

Annnnnnd, you will have a really Bad China Day, but on the bright side, an opportunity to find a better woman Smile Also, why you would have to fix your GF's mom mistakes ? That would be a terrible habit that you would give her. If she need a loan, there are banks for this

mike695ca:

Yeah I dont know why many chinese havent figured out the whole " delete history" thing. Perhaps they dont watch porn as much as some of us?? ie. me

10 years 10 weeks ago
Report Abuse

DrMonkey:

Well, I once interviewed people for a software developer position. Part of the interview included basic coding proficiency. I would leave the candidate alone in a room to solve very simple coding problems. The laptop on which they should work have the wifi disabled. Quite a few times (about 1/3 of the people), they switched the wifi on, go find the solution on the web, and switch off the wifi. And forgot to clean-up the browser's historic :D This is all part of the test of course devil

10 years 10 weeks ago
Report Abuse

Scandinavian:

according to the wisdom of the movie "Don Jon", not deleting history can mean you loose a girl like Scarlett Johansson, and who would want that ? 

10 years 10 weeks ago
Report Abuse
Report Abuse
10 years 10 weeks ago
 
Posts: 21

Governor

0
0
You must be a registered user to vote!
You must be a registered user to vote!
0

It's your money, you don't have to prove anything to her.

 

Tell her you can't, it's too much money, but offer to help them find a bank that will loan them that much money. 

 

If she still insists the money come from you, dump her and move on. She and her mother are clearly trying to cheat you out of your wages. 

 

 

Report Abuse
10 years 10 weeks ago
 
Posts: 129

Governor

0
0
You must be a registered user to vote!
You must be a registered user to vote!
0

...gambling and shopping are fun 'hobbies'...especially if one has 300,000 RMB...

Report Abuse
10 years 10 weeks ago
 
Posts: 416

Governor

0
0
You must be a registered user to vote!
You must be a registered user to vote!
0

I think she messed up this time by asking for too much. If she'd asked for say 20 000 then MAYBE you would have considered it because it's not that much and maybe then you wouldn't have gone digging into her browser history to find out what's going on. Be careful of not being manipulated into giving the money, my guess is that at some point she will get really emotional and try and guilt you into giving it to her. As everyone has said, do not give her the money.

 

Wish you all the best my man!

Report Abuse
10 years 10 weeks ago
 
Posts: 916

Shifu

0
0
You must be a registered user to vote!
You must be a registered user to vote!
0

Time to let go and find a new gf.

Report Abuse
10 years 10 weeks ago
 
Posts: 879

Emperor

0
0
You must be a registered user to vote!
You must be a registered user to vote!
0

How is this even a question? In what scenario would you actually give her 300,000 RMB?

 

What you need to do, immediately, is:

 

1. Make sure you have all the keys to your apartment.

2. Make sure she doesn't have any of your things.

3. Tell her you're not giving her money. You can do this in person or over the phone, but not while she is in your apartment.

 

In future:

 

1. Don't date girls you met in nightclubs.

2. Don't date girls with cosmetically modified eyes.

 

 

mike695ca:

true dat to number 2!

10 years 10 weeks ago
Report Abuse

Paulberger:

@mike Which number two?!?

10 years 10 weeks ago
Report Abuse

mike695ca:

shit... the number two number two......  any girl ive met that had that surgery done has been....... not the kind of girl thats good for anyone.

10 years 10 weeks ago
Report Abuse

Scandinavian:

2.2 = Ugly children as per (not completely true) story about a Chinese guy suing his wife for being an ugly person who had surgery and not told him so they had ugly children. 

10 years 10 weeks ago
Report Abuse
Report Abuse
10 years 10 weeks ago
 
Posts: 2310

Shifu

0
0
You must be a registered user to vote!
You must be a registered user to vote!
0

Like we say : typical case.

 

Mike is right, change the locks, just in case.

And folow all others here. Buy 2 bottles of vodka, and than call her about the evidence and than call for the trash car and dump her in.

When you become sober, go spend those money yourself Laughing out loud

Report Abuse
10 years 10 weeks ago
 
Posts: 561

Governor

0
0
You must be a registered user to vote!
You must be a registered user to vote!
0

May I suggest you listen to a song?  Cee Lo Green - F#ck You.  If you listen carefully to his words, I think you will know what to say to this gold digger.

mArtiAn:

  Subtle, I like it.

10 years 10 weeks ago
Report Abuse
Report Abuse
10 years 10 weeks ago
 
Posts: 448

Shifu

0
0
You must be a registered user to vote!
You must be a registered user to vote!
0

Get a new gf!

Report Abuse
10 years 10 weeks ago
 
Posts: 254

Governor

0
0
You must be a registered user to vote!
You must be a registered user to vote!
0

oh noo

Report Abuse
10 years 10 weeks ago
 
Posts: 1084

Shifu

0
0
You must be a registered user to vote!
You must be a registered user to vote!
0

Say you don't have it.

 

I pray to god you haven't told her your income.

 

You're a foreigner, you just make 4000rmb a month 

 

Are you so afraid of being rejected by people who are clearly taking advantage of you?

Paulberger:

4000 RMB a month?  That's awefully low... I hope he makes much more than that... maybe 4500!

10 years 10 weeks ago
Report Abuse

dharma86:

We're not all Chief Executives with our 4500 !

10 years 10 weeks ago
Report Abuse
Report Abuse
10 years 10 weeks ago
 
Posts: 2587

Emperor

0
0
You must be a registered user to vote!
You must be a registered user to vote!
0

so your gf asks for 300k and at the same time is searching for luxury?  You come to us because you don't know what to do??  My question is why you don't know what to do???  Is this your first gf?  Are you Chinese?  Any teenager where I'm from would know what to do at this point.

philbravery:

I think you hit the nail on the head or as matty would say hit the nail in the coffin wink

10 years 10 weeks ago
Report Abuse
Report Abuse
10 years 10 weeks ago
 
Posts: 2531

Emperor

0
0
You must be a registered user to vote!
You must be a registered user to vote!
0

Absolutely not! You aren't even married to the girl... are you serious? 

 

I lent my wife's family 90 000 RMB to help out with her brother's marriage because they didn't have enough. They had just bought a car, and then found a girl and wanted to get married.... the girl's family wanted an apartment... So my wife's family had no choice but to pay a dowry, buy an apartment and pay for the wedding. I helped out because I understand the financial burden and I was 100% certain this is why they needed it. 

 

If you think she is going on a trip and again, she is JUST your girl friend... you already know the answer... you just got to man up now and do it. 

Scandinavian:

in my opinion, maybe they shouldn't have bought a car, or bought a cheaper car. if people can afford a car, then they don't need to borrow money. of course, it is nice of your to help out, that is not what I am saying here. 

10 years 10 weeks ago
Report Abuse

dom87:

people here are too stupid to think further.

 

NEED CAR NOW NEED APARTMENT NOOOOW

 

no car&house = no girl

 

of course it must be a BMW and a 140m2 house because they earn more than 3000 RMB a month!

 

house is something you achieve together and since they cant drive anyways it would be better if no chinese would buy one

10 years 10 weeks ago
Report Abuse

Robk:

Yeah to be more specific... the father actually bought the son a car 6 months before the son decided to get married. 

 

Chinese generally can't really organize well, and I can't talk sense into them. It is the way they do things. I just helped out because I knew they needed it and weren't just trying to rip me off.

 

I agree though, most Chinese can't afford the things they buy these days. But you can't really determine their savings by their salary alone. They are very collective about their  money and the parents help out a lot.  

10 years 10 weeks ago
Report Abuse

danielmauricio:

AND YOUR WIFE BROTHER,DONT HAVE MONEY TO GET MARRIED,ASK HIM TO WORK...MAKE MONEY AND THEN GET MARRY....LOL

WHY MARRY SOMEONE WHEN HE DONT EVEN HAVE MONEY FOR THE WEADDING!!!!!!! LOL,CHINESE... CHINESE..... !!!!!!

10 years 10 weeks ago
Report Abuse

Robk:

He wife's brother does work... not as hard as he should. But after he got married he sort of woke up when he saw the bank's mortgage payment plan... (and that he would have to be paying it now). 

 

Besides, I didn't do it for him, I did it her my wife and her parents. They are nice people and they work hard... they just don't earn that much. Maybe 2000-3000 RMB per month. If they were lazy and useless, I would tell them to screw off... I help people who deserve it. 

10 years 10 weeks ago
Report Abuse

seansarto:

Are they going to pay you back?

10 years 10 weeks ago
Report Abuse

Robk:

One can only hope... haha... 

 

I think they will. They are good people. 

10 years 10 weeks ago
Report Abuse
Report Abuse
10 years 10 weeks ago
 
Posts: 921

Shifu

0
0
You must be a registered user to vote!
You must be a registered user to vote!
0

Along with the good suggestions so far, I'd add on top couple of slaps for only having tried that.

Report Abuse
10 years 10 weeks ago
 
Posts: 290

Governor

0
0
You must be a registered user to vote!
You must be a registered user to vote!
0

no way

Report Abuse
10 years 10 weeks ago
 
Posts: 170

Governor

0
0
You must be a registered user to vote!
You must be a registered user to vote!
0

Go visit the mother - in all seriousness say you would like to help with her situation, say you have a job and can contribute to the money she needs, say all this with a lovely reassuring smile and pats on the arm and the back etc. so she can feel more optimistic about her situation.  Ask her when is best to give her the money, if she says whenever, say you have it on you right now, grab your wallet and take out 3 yuan and slide it over to her, tell her not to spend it all at once.  Whatever she says, stay serious about the matter, and act as though you have done a huge favor by giving her this much.

Report Abuse
10 years 10 weeks ago
 
Posts: 41

Governor

0
0
You must be a registered user to vote!
You must be a registered user to vote!
0

1 question above all: How in this world can you still consider her your girlfriend after the mess she did??? Why are you still talkinf to her after all??

Report Abuse
10 years 10 weeks ago
 
Posts: 3

Governor

0
0
You must be a registered user to vote!
You must be a registered user to vote!
0

well, indeed, your gf is lying and i do not think that kind of girl is worth your effort. maybe she has many other bfs like you. what she does is to satisfy her greedy and awful thought. Get away from her as soon as possible.

Report Abuse
10 years 10 weeks ago
 
Posts: 3494

Emperor

0
0
You must be a registered user to vote!
You must be a registered user to vote!
0

Take her out.

mike695ca:

yeah. whack her.

10 years 10 weeks ago
Report Abuse
Report Abuse
10 years 10 weeks ago
 
Posts: 443

Shifu

0
0
You must be a registered user to vote!
You must be a registered user to vote!
0

Kick her ass out on the street! Too many girls here think they have found a foreigner and can have a rich lifestyle.

 

Collect her things into bin bags and leave them outside your garden, tell the baoan not to let her in again and show them her picture.

Report Abuse
10 years 10 weeks ago
 
Posts: 2

Governor

0
0
You must be a registered user to vote!
You must be a registered user to vote!
0

If I were you. I'll put her picture so all the fellows here can see who she is and  stay away from this kind of girls.

man this is not your girl friend...she wants to get paid for the beautiful nights she gave you...that is the way in China...they try to get paid after you taste....but not all girls are like that.  Find yourself an honest and good girl. And never pay for family problems ,even if they are true...once you get involve in the Chinese gambling disease and borrowing money from family and everyone shit...you will lose your shirt and be running  like a chicken without a head.

 

good luck buddy.

Report Abuse
10 years 10 weeks ago
 
Know the answer ?
Please or register to post answer.

Report Abuse

Security Code: * Enter the text diplayed in the box below
Image CAPTCHA
Enter the characters shown in the image.
  • Allowed HTML tags: <a> <em> <strong> <cite> <code> <ul> <ol> <li> <dl> <dt> <dd> <img> <br> <p> <u>
  • Web page addresses and e-mail addresses turn into links automatically.
  • Lines and paragraphs break automatically.
  • Textual smileys will be replaced with graphical ones.

More information about formatting options

Forward Question

Answer of the DayMORE >>
A:  "... through ..."?  Only "through" comes to mind is "S
A: "... through ..."?  Only "through" comes to mind is "Shenzhen agent can connect you with an employer, who's authorized to hire waigouren ... and can sponsor Z visa." It's not like every 10th person you meet in Shenzhen's hood can sponsor work visa ...  The only way to change from student to labourer visa is just a regular way by: 1. Finding an employer, who'll apply for an Invitation letter; 2. Exit China and apply for Z visa in your home country's Chinese embassy; 3. Enter China in 30-days after Z visa was stamped into your travelling instrument ...As I am aware, you won't be able to switch to Working permit by remaining in China....,so make ready for a return to your home .... -- icnif77