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anonymous
Q: My chinese gf said her mother needs 300000 rmb urgently.What to do?
My chinese gf called me yesterday and her family has a big problem and her mother needs 300 thousand rmb now.
I asked about the details and she said she can not explain. Later she told me that her mother rented a big place and did renovation work for an a place which will be a small hotel. She said her mother`s friends promised to give her 300 thousand rmb and then that friend changed her mind.Now she tell me that workers want their money.
Later that night she gave back my ipad that she borrowed for one day and i luckily found one open chinese web site to buy plane tickets to honkong which costs around 2400 rmb for around 5 days. I used google translate to find about the places since i cant read chinese.And when i clicked to back button and i saw another train ticket to nanchang which costs around 600 rmb.
I also managed to undo the tabs that she opened in the ipad and see other web site that she visited.
She was checking the web site of very expensive hotel in sanya which costs 7500 rmb for two night with private swimming pool.
Alarm bells started to ring.How the hell someone needs a lot of money for her mother will check expensive hotels and travel packages which are extremely expensive.
By the way the web sites that she checked really matches her profile since my gf doesnt work for 6 months and she wen to hongkong, singapore,macau with her rich friend which is a gold digger. I think she saw that kind of luxury life style ideas from her.
So what do you think i should do? How can i prove that she is lying?
Updates: Now she denies that her cousin was checking the ipad and he was thinking of going somewehere for holiday and she suggested hongkong and sanya for him. It really doesnt make sense. How the hell you will need money for your mother and suggest your cousin to go to sanya. What kind of sick family is it?
I will not give any money at all. I am sure that her idea was getting some money from me by asking too much.
Updates 2 : I told her what i have found in ipad and i blamed her. She said her cousin looked at it. Then i said i want to see the place where the construction is going on. she said she will show me and we will break up after i see. Eventually she was telling the truth that workers were doing a construction for 20 rooms.
She said that i am stupid not to trust her and she said she wants to break up. Then i regret my suspicion. It is because of the fact that there are so many chinese girls doing this kind of lies and i taught my gf is one of them but eventually she was telling me the truth.
12 years 9 weeks ago in Relationships - China
you will have to tell us what happened on this !
so many posters fail to give the outcome of their problem and it can be quite frustrating
a Wise Man known as Confusedus once said that the Sun is Shining even Though it is Dark. That the Rabbit becomes The Hare. When Playing with Pinochio beware of Splinters as the Ocean leaves the Land and Falls much as the Goose does the Swan.
so yeah, give it to her. because Black is White as The Grasshopper sings in the Last Verse before the Second last one before it in MaoMao Style.
Get a new apartment and move out while shes out and about and leave a note on the table with a bill for her to pay. Give the bill to the landlord and tell the landlord she'll pay.. lol
Whatever you do, don't let this get you down. Yeah, money is God in China, but believe me there are loads of good decent families out there.
Tell her that you will do it and have one last wonderful night with her. In the morning tell her that she is no good in bed and you changed your mind about the money.
Seriously, why is her mothers problem your concern? She has a hotel and can't get money? Hey my mother needs money for a hip operation, PM me and I'll tell you where to send the money.! 
if you ever want to lend money to someone or make payments to factories, suppliers which involve a big amount, i suggest doing it through a lawyer, i know this lawyer in china who is a foreigner (Mr.Martin) and i had lent money to one of my chinese friends about 8 month ago and i did it through this lawyer and when he couldnt pay back the full amount, this lawyer paid me upfront and collected the money by himself. he uses contracts when making payments to suppliers and has the terms and conditions written so even if you want to lend money to your girlfriend's mother, then tell her alright, ill tell my lawyer to come over and if she's planning on cheating you then she wont bother taking money at all, if you need details of this lawyer, feel free to ask
Honestly, would you give $50,000 to your girlfriend's mother back home? Especially one involved in shady financial dealings, searching for luxurious hotel rooms in Hawaii or whatever vacation destination in your home country? I mean, she's going to spend 2.5% of the money PER NIGHT on lodging while on holiday. Ludicrous.
ASK HER TO WORK AND HELP HER MOTHER LIKE OTHERS DO...!!!
AND YOU JUST RUNNNNNNNNN................!!!!
This has got to be a trick question. How soon do you need to know...? 
Scandinavian:
hey Red, can you pass me 350000. I've learned from this thread that the problem OP has and the reason he should not give the money is the dishonesty around it, so. I will use 100% of the money on vodka, should last me until next year.
Red_Fox:
Scando, will ya settle for half that amount? Still mulling over the OPs question, so check back with me later, k? (What's the catch? What's the catch?) Ah, fuck it. Goin' back to bed.
Scandinavian:
if it's only half I don't think it is worth the bother, after all, the only proper way to pass such an amount in China would be cash, and 175000 wouldn't even fill my backpack. "Maybe next time" (Chinese for "I have no idea about the future")
OP, you never read Hamlet? Where did you go to school? If you did read Hamlet, you should remember this:
Polonius: Neither a borrower nor a lender be,
For loan oft loses both itself and friend,
And borrowing dulls the edge of husbandry.
Hamlet Act 1, scene 3, 75–77
Yes, that would eliminate banks and related institutions. Upside: we'd get rid of some of the blood-suckers ruining the world. Downside: a lot of progress, both social and technological, can be traced to the development of lending.
OP, you're not a bank. If you were, you'd know that some loans are not repaid, so it's wise to spread your risk and profit from the loans that are repaid. [BTW, loans are not intrinsically evil; it's the usurious and egregious banking practices which are causing problems throughout the world.]
Bottom line: don't afford to loan any more than you can lose. In this case, the probability is very high that you'll lose your money and your girlfriend. Better to lose just the girlfriend. Either way, CYA.
run like a thief this girl is only interested in money shei take it and you be out all the money this is typical in CHINA
Give your GF's mama one of those start up "business kits" being advertised on another page! Then she could freelance (maybe transform her mad knitting skills into a little tao bao business) and get that 300,000 without having to bug others.
you will have to tell us what happened on this !
so many posters fail to give the outcome of their problem and it can be quite frustrating
There is only one thing you do. You should know what it is. Good luck finding a new gf and don't get sucked into their bullshit.
There is only one thing you do. You should know what it is. Good luck finding a new gf and don't get sucked into their bullshit.
WOW! It is kind of sad that you would even need to ask advice about this! No offense, but....are you really that naive and gullible? Have you not seen and heard the thousands and thousands of stories where a Chinese woman/family make their money by scamming foreigners out of their money. "Oh....my mom needs an expensive surgery", "Can you please help me, we are going to lose our house if we don't pay XXX amount of money", etc.
All I have to say is you better smarten up and find a different GF!
If you're having to pay to keep it around (and that's a lot), then she ain't your GF.
a very useful way to handle people who need money is never give them cash.
if your gf needs to pay a hospital bill, tell her you will go the hospital and pay the bill,
if your gf needs tuition, you pay the tuition at the school yourself.
if you buy a house , you pay the money directly to the bank,
never give cash.
i have had a lady need money for fathers hospital bill and it was her fathers gambling debt.
never give cash
there are emergencies in which any good bf should help. but emergencies are never 300k. that is someone trying to get some cheese for their own spiel.
there are emergencies in which any good bf should help. but emergencies are never 300k. that is someone trying to get some cheese for their own spiel.
Hi,
Never lend money to your girlfriend, and specially if she is from other kind of culture. I was living in China and I know what I´m talking about.
Test her love to you and you will see if she loves you or a future with a foreigner!! Say NO!
Don´t mix love and money.
If still you wanna help her, sign a contract, like a bank, althought also is too risky.
Be clever man!! Think like a woman if you want to deal with a woman.
Good luck and keep us informed.
Oh, I forgot, is not your family yet, so also is not your problem. For them it works like that. And even that I wouldn´t do it unless is a death or alive matter.
update? you're a sucker, you hear lies on lies, if you can afford to loose 300,000, then just give it and never think about it again, because you will never get the money back.
first of all be clear you will NEVER know the truth because she will NEVER admit she is a liar , she will turn it around on you she will tell you you are horrible for having suspicions and she will take you to any building under construction and give the guard a pack of cigarettes to pretend the building belongs to her, her need to maintain face is greater than any need to tell you the truth and look like a liar scumbag its much better to leave you in doubt and shame thats why she took you and told you we are broke up as soon as you believe her, how old is she? she sounds very young and immature and for you to have an extra 300,000 yuan laying around it sounds you are much older and loaded with money so that can tell you something about her attraction to you, also that about checking the vacation package for her cousin you mentioned "him" its a guy? you can bet its her real boyfriend when she mentions cousins, classmates, big brothers, customers, colleagues, its all just words for guys she is dating be clear about that you said her friend is a gold digger and even went travelling with her chinese girls live in group culture and will always follow their chinese friends advice above yours if being a nice girl was the dominant idea in her social group then her friend would not be a gold digger anymore so that tells you what ideology they are following your first impression is right always trust your gut over anything they say and voicing your suspicions to her will only tell her what she needs to lie to you about just remember she will never ever admit anything to you even if you catch her red handed so dont lose sleep doubting her you were right the first time and she is just your gf she doesnt need to ask you for money and their are now thousands of people lending money you can see ads all over the street and on chinese websites and forums they can get the money from a professional asking you for money is just to make it easier to not pay you backshe is not breaking up with you because you doubted her she is breaking up with you because you didnt give 300,000 and its a game to get you to say you are sorry and want to get back together but your apology is to give that money to prove yourself afterwards she will break up with you again bc she is still so "hurt" and you will never get it back so do not give that money no matter what
