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Sign up with Google Sign up with FacebookQ: My chinese gf said her mother needs 300000 rmb urgently.What to do?
My chinese gf called me yesterday and her family has a big problem and her mother needs 300 thousand rmb now.
I asked about the details and she said she can not explain. Later she told me that her mother rented a big place and did renovation work for an a place which will be a small hotel. She said her mother`s friends promised to give her 300 thousand rmb and then that friend changed her mind.Now she tell me that workers want their money.
Later that night she gave back my ipad that she borrowed for one day and i luckily found one open chinese web site to buy plane tickets to honkong which costs around 2400 rmb for around 5 days. I used google translate to find about the places since i cant read chinese.And when i clicked to back button and i saw another train ticket to nanchang which costs around 600 rmb.
I also managed to undo the tabs that she opened in the ipad and see other web site that she visited.
She was checking the web site of very expensive hotel in sanya which costs 7500 rmb for two night with private swimming pool.
Alarm bells started to ring.How the hell someone needs a lot of money for her mother will check expensive hotels and travel packages which are extremely expensive.
By the way the web sites that she checked really matches her profile since my gf doesnt work for 6 months and she wen to hongkong, singapore,macau with her rich friend which is a gold digger. I think she saw that kind of luxury life style ideas from her.
So what do you think i should do? How can i prove that she is lying?
Updates: Now she denies that her cousin was checking the ipad and he was thinking of going somewehere for holiday and she suggested hongkong and sanya for him. It really doesnt make sense. How the hell you will need money for your mother and suggest your cousin to go to sanya. What kind of sick family is it?
I will not give any money at all. I am sure that her idea was getting some money from me by asking too much.
Updates 2 : I told her what i have found in ipad and i blamed her. She said her cousin looked at it. Then i said i want to see the place where the construction is going on. she said she will show me and we will break up after i see. Eventually she was telling the truth that workers were doing a construction for 20 rooms.
She said that i am stupid not to trust her and she said she wants to break up. Then i regret my suspicion. It is because of the fact that there are so many chinese girls doing this kind of lies and i taught my gf is one of them but eventually she was telling me the truth.
10 years 17 weeks ago in Relationships - China
you will have to tell us what happened on this !
so many posters fail to give the outcome of their problem and it can be quite frustrating
Run.
ironman510:
Run and call A-Rod from the MLB, he can help you run faster, but you'll be suspended for a year.
If this is not a scam, it is not your problem. If in fact the story is correct, then you could offer to the mother she can come stay for free, to help lower her expenses so she can pay her debt.
But I'd probably not move as much as a jiao for this.
Scandinavian:
you should probably go buy a bottle of vodka, you will need it no matter what.
Why are you wasting your time on this site when you should be changing your locks???
Dont give her a dime. Say you dont have it. If she wants that much money but doesnt want to explain, then ..... i dont know why your even asking this question. If we all said give it to her , would you?
ironman510:
He must have met this girl in Dongguan.. The diggers come from there according to a Chinese friend of mine.
mike695ca:
haha i was always under the impression that hookers come from dongguan and gold diggers come from the poor provinces like hunan. relax guys im sure your wife is great. i dont mean ALL of them
There's a 'history' function in most web navigators (Firefox, for instance, have it in its main menu), which allows you to check which website have been visited before. Most people seems to not know about this functionality, that might apply to your GF.
1) Confront her to the evidence *quietly* *without a shout*.
2) Leave room for doubt, like, "were you dreaming about going have holidays in a nice fancy place ?". Explain that this and asking for 300K RMB a the same time triggered some red lights.
3) She is likely to shout, cry and make a huge drama, first denying, then calling you a cheap stake, cruel, etc etc.
Annnnnnd, you will have a really Bad China Day, but on the bright side, an opportunity to find a better woman Also, why you would have to fix your GF's mom mistakes ? That would be a terrible habit that you would give her. If she need a loan, there are banks for this
mike695ca:
Yeah I dont know why many chinese havent figured out the whole " delete history" thing. Perhaps they dont watch porn as much as some of us?? ie. me
DrMonkey:
Well, I once interviewed people for a software developer position. Part of the interview included basic coding proficiency. I would leave the candidate alone in a room to solve very simple coding problems. The laptop on which they should work have the wifi disabled. Quite a few times (about 1/3 of the people), they switched the wifi on, go find the solution on the web, and switch off the wifi. And forgot to clean-up the browser's historic :D This is all part of the test of course
Scandinavian:
according to the wisdom of the movie "Don Jon", not deleting history can mean you loose a girl like Scarlett Johansson, and who would want that ?
It's your money, you don't have to prove anything to her.
Tell her you can't, it's too much money, but offer to help them find a bank that will loan them that much money.
If she still insists the money come from you, dump her and move on. She and her mother are clearly trying to cheat you out of your wages.
...gambling and shopping are fun 'hobbies'...especially if one has 300,000 RMB...
I think she messed up this time by asking for too much. If she'd asked for say 20 000 then MAYBE you would have considered it because it's not that much and maybe then you wouldn't have gone digging into her browser history to find out what's going on. Be careful of not being manipulated into giving the money, my guess is that at some point she will get really emotional and try and guilt you into giving it to her. As everyone has said, do not give her the money.
Wish you all the best my man!
How is this even a question? In what scenario would you actually give her 300,000 RMB?
What you need to do, immediately, is:
1. Make sure you have all the keys to your apartment.
2. Make sure she doesn't have any of your things.
3. Tell her you're not giving her money. You can do this in person or over the phone, but not while she is in your apartment.
In future:
1. Don't date girls you met in nightclubs.
2. Don't date girls with cosmetically modified eyes.
mike695ca:
shit... the number two number two...... any girl ive met that had that surgery done has been....... not the kind of girl thats good for anyone.
Scandinavian:
2.2 = Ugly children as per (not completely true) story about a Chinese guy suing his wife for being an ugly person who had surgery and not told him so they had ugly children.
Like we say : typical case.
Mike is right, change the locks, just in case.
And folow all others here. Buy 2 bottles of vodka, and than call her about the evidence and than call for the trash car and dump her in.
When you become sober, go spend those money yourself
May I suggest you listen to a song? Cee Lo Green - F#ck You. If you listen carefully to his words, I think you will know what to say to this gold digger.
Say you don't have it.
I pray to god you haven't told her your income.
You're a foreigner, you just make 4000rmb a month
Are you so afraid of being rejected by people who are clearly taking advantage of you?
Paulberger:
4000 RMB a month? That's awefully low... I hope he makes much more than that... maybe 4500!
so your gf asks for 300k and at the same time is searching for luxury? You come to us because you don't know what to do?? My question is why you don't know what to do??? Is this your first gf? Are you Chinese? Any teenager where I'm from would know what to do at this point.
philbravery:
I think you hit the nail on the head or as matty would say hit the nail in the coffin
Absolutely not! You aren't even married to the girl... are you serious?
I lent my wife's family 90 000 RMB to help out with her brother's marriage because they didn't have enough. They had just bought a car, and then found a girl and wanted to get married.... the girl's family wanted an apartment... So my wife's family had no choice but to pay a dowry, buy an apartment and pay for the wedding. I helped out because I understand the financial burden and I was 100% certain this is why they needed it.
If you think she is going on a trip and again, she is JUST your girl friend... you already know the answer... you just got to man up now and do it.
Scandinavian:
in my opinion, maybe they shouldn't have bought a car, or bought a cheaper car. if people can afford a car, then they don't need to borrow money. of course, it is nice of your to help out, that is not what I am saying here.
dom87:
people here are too stupid to think further.
NEED CAR NOW NEED APARTMENT NOOOOW
no car&house = no girl
of course it must be a BMW and a 140m2 house because they earn more than 3000 RMB a month!
house is something you achieve together and since they cant drive anyways it would be better if no chinese would buy one
Robk:
Yeah to be more specific... the father actually bought the son a car 6 months before the son decided to get married.
Chinese generally can't really organize well, and I can't talk sense into them. It is the way they do things. I just helped out because I knew they needed it and weren't just trying to rip me off.
I agree though, most Chinese can't afford the things they buy these days. But you can't really determine their savings by their salary alone. They are very collective about their money and the parents help out a lot.
danielmauricio:
AND YOUR WIFE BROTHER,DONT HAVE MONEY TO GET MARRIED,ASK HIM TO WORK...MAKE MONEY AND THEN GET MARRY....LOL
WHY MARRY SOMEONE WHEN HE DONT EVEN HAVE MONEY FOR THE WEADDING!!!!!!! LOL,CHINESE... CHINESE..... !!!!!!
Robk:
He wife's brother does work... not as hard as he should. But after he got married he sort of woke up when he saw the bank's mortgage payment plan... (and that he would have to be paying it now).
Besides, I didn't do it for him, I did it her my wife and her parents. They are nice people and they work hard... they just don't earn that much. Maybe 2000-3000 RMB per month. If they were lazy and useless, I would tell them to screw off... I help people who deserve it.
Along with the good suggestions so far, I'd add on top couple of slaps for only having tried that.
Go visit the mother - in all seriousness say you would like to help with her situation, say you have a job and can contribute to the money she needs, say all this with a lovely reassuring smile and pats on the arm and the back etc. so she can feel more optimistic about her situation. Ask her when is best to give her the money, if she says whenever, say you have it on you right now, grab your wallet and take out 3 yuan and slide it over to her, tell her not to spend it all at once. Whatever she says, stay serious about the matter, and act as though you have done a huge favor by giving her this much.
1 question above all: How in this world can you still consider her your girlfriend after the mess she did??? Why are you still talkinf to her after all??
well, indeed, your gf is lying and i do not think that kind of girl is worth your effort. maybe she has many other bfs like you. what she does is to satisfy her greedy and awful thought. Get away from her as soon as possible.
Kick her ass out on the street! Too many girls here think they have found a foreigner and can have a rich lifestyle.
Collect her things into bin bags and leave them outside your garden, tell the baoan not to let her in again and show them her picture.
If I were you. I'll put her picture so all the fellows here can see who she is and stay away from this kind of girls.
man this is not your girl friend...she wants to get paid for the beautiful nights she gave you...that is the way in China...they try to get paid after you taste....but not all girls are like that. Find yourself an honest and good girl. And never pay for family problems ,even if they are true...once you get involve in the Chinese gambling disease and borrowing money from family and everyone shit...you will lose your shirt and be running like a chicken without a head.
good luck buddy.