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Q: pre marriage aggreement

does anyone have a pre-marriage aggreement, whats yours before the marriage to a chinese woman, is still yours in the event of a divorce, could save all the trouble after. This practice is law in some country's like denmark, for instance.

Divorce is a messy game, we look to hold on to the money, as in most cases an apartment on a family visa isn't much good to us, unless there is another woman involved. One chinese wife is enought in one life time. My apartment is owned by the army so unless im born chinese, i cant have it in my name ever,  Just wondered if anyone has a paper before marriage. You know guys when your all loved up

6 years 51 weeks ago in  Relationships - Nanning

 
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Posts: 205

Governor

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Setting up such an agreement before marriage is a terrible way to start out a marriage.  Don't worry about your stuff.  Worry about your relationship.  Get your priorities straight and show you are willing to commit, sacrifice and trust each other.  When you do that you have a much greater chance your marriage will be happy and not end up in divorce.   

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6 years 51 weeks ago
 
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Don't get married, easy.

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6 years 51 weeks ago
 
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Sometimes even with an extreme amount of trust it still fails. My best friend of a year, then fiance for 3 years happily took the house I paid for because.. damn.. when we signed the mortgage I let her sign her name. With me only paying for everything. She then moved in there with her 'other' boyfriend that I didn't know about.. Her excuse for doing all of that was that her Chinese mom and dad didn't like me. And that she was protecting her future from all the time she spent with me.

 

Sadly.. one night that house mysteriously burned to the ground. Everyone inside of course survived, but the 4 million rmb house was a total loss.

 

Yeah anyways, don't be stupid before you get married. Trust me.

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6 years 51 weeks ago
 
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my attitude is this if i have to worry about a pre-nup then why get married? but it's easy for me, i'm poor.

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6 years 51 weeks ago
 
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 Pre-nup arrangements are actually honored by the People's Courts here because if you have a pre-nup, then it's not going to be a Chinese quickie post card divorce.  It will take a dissolution by the People's Court.  Best consult a lawyer here but if you have tangible assets, or things that you don't want to loose, then please by all means do a pre-nup here.  Otherwise, inherently as a foreigner, things might not go in your favor, particularly if it's messy and particularly if the ex comes up with all kinds of mysterious "paid" witnesses will say about your behaviour.  It has been known to happen. 

 

It's not a matter of trust -- that concept died a long time ago around here.  It's a matter of sound business practice.  Someone wrote around that 30% of all marriages in China fail.  I read on the Chinese web that in Beijing the Beijing authorities say that 40% of all registered marriages in one year in Beijing fail.  It's that serious these days.

 

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6 years 51 weeks ago
 
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No paper. If she wants it, she can have it. What makes me successful will always be with me...

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6 years 51 weeks ago
 
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The rules for the country you get married applies. That means if you get married in Denmark, then the laws for divorces here applies.

If China honors these laws I don't know.

 

At least that is how the law is in my home country, which is also Denmark.

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6 years 51 weeks ago
 
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another small issue to consider. If you get married in China, check up on if your country accepts that marriage, and vice versa. E.g. if China does not accept a marriage in your home country as valid, you may never be able to get married in China as one of the things you as a foreigner needs to produce is a statement from your home country that you have never been married. 

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6 years 51 weeks ago
 
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Maybe not the most popular idea every, but pre-nup can actually help marriage. Let me explain why:

 

Lets give it a classic example that guy is rich and she is not. When they get married, she achieved her "goal" as she got her security. Now there is nothing anymore to holding her back and if you ever leave (or she), you stay without half and she knows that.

 

Now, if you have pre-nup, she knows she can't mess around as she losses also all the benefits.

 

I am sorry guys, but talking about love and trust is fine, but sometimes things just don't work out, maybe she falls in love, maybe you do, maybe you overgrow each other, maybe many things can happen, but at least you won't stay without what you were working for many years. Why shouldn't you rather share this with another loving person.

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6 years 51 weeks ago
 
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There was excellent example about this in a book: Friend asked his older buddy (lets call him Frank) how is life and he replied to him, that he is very happy as he is getting married with beautiful, young, loving woman. As Frank was seasoned guy, friend asked him about pre-nup.

 

Frank said, I don't need or want pre-nup, I love her and trust her.

 

Friend said, ok but what happens if worst case scenario happen.

 

Frank said, if this really happens at some point, I can afford to pay her off.

 

Friend said, yes, of course you can afford that you pay her off, but can you afford that you pay her off, when she leaves you for younger guy, while you get old, without money and look stupid.

 

Frank gave it a second thought, signed pre-nup. He and his loving had happy marriage for over 12 years at this point, she drives new porsche, have everything what she wants and on the other side making him happy too.

 

Just something to think about.

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6 years 51 weeks ago
 
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Answer of the DayMORE >>
A: Going to HK would be the best bet I reckon, especially if you were loo
A:Going to HK would be the best bet I reckon, especially if you were looking for a church wedding. Chinese weddings are pretty grim IMO - you go to a barren govt dept with souless officials and navigate red tape so some guy can give you a red stamp and a marriage book. You get expensive pictures taken of you both posing in places you'd never go to in everyday life that is somehow supposed to represent your wedding, then a while later it's off to a restaurant where a game show host kind of guy makes sure it's as tacky as possible while the guests eat as fast as they can so they can leave as soon as they finish eating and gave you money. Hell, I'd go to Thailand or the Philippines and get married in Paradise.   -- Stiggs