You got to be Kidding . here we go again    Maybe we should convert the Forum section to Relationships R US  Mind you it would be a improvement from what it is .    As I see it you have 2 options  Firstly Give Vicky a Call or simply go to                                                              SEX IN CHINA ON A 30 DAY VISA?

Ah, issues with a woman.

Get comfortable, the cynic/advice  bus is revving up.

 She admitted to me that the only reason she is going to get married is that for her parents to be happy (they approved guy), but she is not happy, don't love him, she is, well, used of him, they don't care about each other, and guy feels the same.

Something similar happened to me and my Chinese ex. 

You know what, it's HIS loss, he doesn't deserve me. I don't want to sound like Victoria here, but hey, how many Mensa members wear D-cups?

We had a really good time together, I couldn't believe he decided to give up. I felt bad when he left me :(

The girl his parents are trying to arrange him a marriage with told him that she feels sorry for me. Sorry for me? I'm not the zombie, I'm not the one who with spend her life in a loveless marriage.

The girl you are talking about is similar. She is a weak person who doesn't deserve you.

Nooo this could be awesome for you.  She'll soon realize how unhappy she is and keep coming back to you for extracurricular activities.   Meanwhile you have a free hand to explore further.  What could be better? Get over your attachment issues and enjoy yourself.  

Well then I think you need something to cheer you up....go out have a good time...don't forget about her, but don't let this control your life....move on!

There were quite a few times when some lady friends told me they were getting married even though they didn't like the guy. The first time I had my mind blown by the logic.

The last time this happened was a few days ago, a female friend whom I've known for about 2 years, and whom I kind of liked, told me she was getting married so her parents would get off her case. It's just so sad for her.

But don't worry, you'll get used to the concept after some time. You won't learn to accept it, but you'll stop caring. On the "bright side", the husband is more of a formality, so that won't mean her options will be limited (if you catch my drift). 

I can see the logic in marrying someone that you don't like, it can't get any worse, you just get used to it from the beginning instead of 10 years down the road,, yeah that could work.

What are you waiting for? 

Why are you looking at this answer?

You should stop reading this, throw down the computer, slip on your shoes T-shirt and underpants, grab your keys, get a handful of cash and sprint out the door- don't even bother locking it or switching anything off. 

Proceed immediately to this girls house or apartment and thump furiously on the door to tell her exactly how you feel. 

If the parents answer and try to stop you just tell them to STF-up and start shouting her name. Maybe they will start protesting saying 'very late'. At this point throw down the money you brought and whilst they scramble for the change on the stairs go into the house and tell her how much you love her.

The worst that can happen is that you make a complete fool of yourself. If that is the case so be it. You gave it your best shot and she doesn't deserve you. You'll live with no regrets and will find someone that wants to be happy in life.

Or if you do not feel in that kind of mood tonight; wait for the wedding and do a 'Graduate'. One of my favourite films. If you've not seen it I would recommend you watch it for some inspiration.

All is fair in love and ......love 

Good luck!

She knows I have feelings for her and I know she also has for me. Marriage is scheduled already and we were even talking about cancellation, but it all comes to face saving for both families. In addition, I have no plans of marring somebody fast, until we get to know each other for at least 1-2 years in committed relationship.

Ironically, I am not as sad for me as I am for her. She even told me that when she will have kids one day, she will allow them to choose someone who they love, unlike her, who is doing it to satisfy parents pressure. She is going into this marriage with full conscious, accepting that she will not be happy and all, while we could have meaningful, lovely relationship, which could evolve to happy marriage. It just sucks :(

All right man, I'm Going say something to u that may help, I had a similar experience like yours before, I been with my girlfriend for one year , suddenly one day she came and told me that her parents arranged someone to married her, those days were really awful For me she left me for almost a month, I advice her I bothered her I told her everything I could , to make up her mind so she can confront her parents and let them know that they were making a big mistake and she had to decide by her self and choose the man who she will spend the rest of her life with, after that finally she got back to me, I took her to HK for 10 days and now we still together and we are making plans to get married soon I'm so bless to have her back , so grab some balls my friend  Tell her how much you like her, take her few days out the city or go for vacation time , last thing crash that fucking wedding! Your the one who decides......

You've got to crash the wedding.

I'll even come with you if you need moral support. Just remember you will need a large crucifix to swing wildly at her parents and I'll bring my an old school getto-blaster booming out Simon and Garfunkel.

But seriously- you can save this girl from an 18th Century life and improve your own in the process. Just go for it as much as you can...

You could do all of the above... and in the process let her know just how unimportant and silly her family and culture and country really are. That she should just turn her back on what many would consider the most important aspects of their life.

But hey, you're a foreigner... you always know better!! I'm sure she'll feel a great deal of comfort from that

Perhaps I should really crush the wedding, haha.

There are some good suggestions here and I appreciate it. My case is a little bit different though. You see, if I was dating this girl, I would absolute fight it, but we haven’t been together, not even kiss once. She is getting into her 30s now and we all know how non married women at that age are looked at here. I can’t promise her marriage myself and if things turned out not to work between us, she will stay being left over woman, which is just something I will not do.  She is from smaller town, and got raised in typical traditional family, with all indoctrinated patterns that come along. So she will rather choose to live unhappy, loveless life, than allowing for her parents to lose face, as why she is still not married.

What makes it even more sad, is that I decided to tell her how I feel about whole situation yesterday, that I am not happy about it and have to let her know how I feel. Her response – I am also sad, that I am going to do that and you telling me this makes me sad even more.

Luckily I wasn’t emotionally connected too much and she would leave me to get married like this. That would be a disaster indeed.

I started this topic so I can see whether other people experienced something similar, as for “us”, there is no “us” and it looks like we won’t be. That is ok, I will eventually end up with someone in meaningful relationship, but I am sad for her.  But hey, when life gives you lemons – drink beer

you do realize there are other women in china???? 

Hey bro, if you decided don't have anything with her, at least  the minimum thing that you can do for her  is adviser and let her know that she wont be happy getting married, with a man that she don't even love,I have a Chinese girl friend even do one day she and I came cross with   the same situation like this( hopefully never) , at least the best I can do for her, is save her happy life, don't give up man, advise her, try to make up her mind even if you think does not going to work , but  give her a reason , so she can say something to her parents , trust me parents will be sad for few days or even a month, they will consider her reasons as their daughter, they will understand her, and she will have other opportunity to be happy with someone that she will love forever.

Asian Women don't get married for love. Most of us just want to get it done quick, for a better future.

If people stall to take reaction to take the girl, she will be taken by somebody.

wtf?!? who gives a f**k honestly if "she" is getting married?!should i open a tread with the title:"she's on her period!:(:(:(

marriages for love is only a concept for the last 2 centuries in most of the world, so how did all those  people survive and prosper in all those arranged marriages, what a tragedy.

Be an adult and leave it be. Choose someone else. 

What I felt from your post, I think it is more like that she is waiting for you to be active to show her some courage and braveness and refuse the marriage with that guy .

Did you ever show your affections to her ,tell her how much you like her ,etc ,it would change the situation if you tell her that you want to have a future with her.(but it should be really that you have feeling for that,don't make up a reason).

I said so is because I felt this girl is a bit hesitant  personality like me ,but similarity is we can be take actions if we get confidence and confirmation from the man we like/love.