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Q: So, I slept with my bosses wife last night, now what?

Before last night, I had met her and had a chat once or twice, but nothing more than that. Last night we had this big dinner because the company is opening a new training center. The big boss man got completely hammered (on red wine no less); so I initially helped him go home with his wife in tow. At home he went right to sleep (on the floor). As I was going out the door his wife totally came on to me. One thing led to another.. we ended up doing it for 2 or 3 hours before I finally left.

 

This woman is mad hot, early 30-ish Sichuan woman, tall, perfect body, very elegant manner..  it was freaking AWESOME!!! I'm not regretting what I did with her. I am underpaid and I am sure she is undersexed, but all this morning I keep getting lots of texts from her asking to meet, have lunch together, etc.. And I am freaking out.

 

I have no idea where to go from here. She wears those traditional Chinese dresses almost every day, it drove me crazy before we slept together, and now.. I'm scared if we meet I will do it again. And she is my boss' wife, so I can't just ignore her. Really no idea what to do... my initial thought is to meet again, but.. I want more actually, but that's wrong right?

 

 

9 years 45 weeks ago in  Relationships - China

 
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Clearly you are a man of limited intelligence.  Good luck.

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9 years 45 weeks ago
 
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Shifu

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As long as you have your Fornication Expert Certificate with you at all times, you can proceed to coitus without the need of the otherwise mandatory X visa.
Since it arguably happened during work time, you can file for extra hours (let's call that "Cultural Corner", with "corner" not being a noun).

Cross your fingers that the woman is of the reasonable kind.

Kaiwen:

I suppose you get the FEC from SAFEA (Stay And Fuck Everyone Available).

9 years 45 weeks ago
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RiriRiri:

Yes, and you should then go to the Permissible Sex Behaviors office in your city to receive your sticker allowing you One, Two or Multiple partners.

9 years 45 weeks ago
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Kaiwen:

You mean the RP - Repeated Penetration allowing multiple entries and an extension if required?

9 years 45 weeks ago
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Vallyntin:

I love you guys!

9 years 45 weeks ago
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9 years 45 weeks ago
 
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9 years 45 weeks ago
 
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Shifu

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Hahaha....boy are you in trouble! But it's a double edged sword. If you continue with the wife you won't ever lose your job and maybe can get a good pay raise through her. On the other hand, if she loses interest in you (looks like she's the sleeping around type) then you may get kicked out sooner than later. But I agree with Riririri, since you already did it, there's no way to get out of it. 

Vallyntin:

I'm not 100% sure she is the sleeping around type: We met today, after talking for about an hour, I got the impression I wasn't the first guy.

9 years 45 weeks ago
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9 years 45 weeks ago
 
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As long as you don't touch his mistress you will probably be fine. 

 

Agree with Rinrin & Louis that you should ask for a pay raise as you are doing his dirty work. 

RiriRiri:

Getting a raise isn't a problem anymore I believe..

9 years 45 weeks ago
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Scandinavian:

"PAY" raise !!!

9 years 45 weeks ago
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Vallyntin:

I've never seen any of my bosses mistresses, but it's common knowledge in our school that he sleeps with students. There was some minor scandal in the office revolving around him and a 15 year old girl. The boss didn't come to office for maybe two months. The girl also stopped going to classes. I don't know the result~

9 years 45 weeks ago
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9 years 45 weeks ago
 
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Shifu

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Go on as long as you want to. You're quite surely not breaking into a marriage sealed with love. It's all a facade, they probably got married for no reason, the guy has several mistresses and the wife counts like the chopstick drawer...

These poor ladies crave for a bit of romance and good sex.

Vallyntin:

I also think she is starved for attention. In the past when I had seen her, she makes other men drool, but you get the impression her husband never even notices.

9 years 45 weeks ago
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9 years 45 weeks ago
 
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I say get it in a few times while looking for a new job. Hes not going to look kindly upon this loss of face.  this is the exact kind of situation where people will screw with visas or far far worse.  try to get out and get a new visa before he finds out. Bitches be crazy, you might think she wont tell, but the next time they have an argument.... who knows?  IF shes already texting you, shes probably not the play it cool type. Find an exit strategy.

Vallyntin:

Yeah, I've been looking for an exit strategy since I had my cash stolen, a bone broken in my hand, and then refused a vacation period to recover. You ever tried writing complex physics equations on a whiteboard with a broken 5th metacarpal? It sucks. He blamed me for the situation of me getting robbed and injured, f#$king his wife is icing on the cake for me.

9 years 45 weeks ago
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9 years 45 weeks ago
 
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You think you're underpaid now! 

 

Wait until your boss sends you the bill for "services provided". 

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9 years 45 weeks ago
 
Posts: 247

Governor

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Be sure to keep us up to speed on the drama, but next time some pictures of her would help establish your credibility as a judge of Chinese beauty . I would also keep it fairly quiet and look for a new job, because eventually it will end with a lot of stress and hurt feelings.

Vallyntin:

We met today for lunch. Afterwards we went to a 7 days hotel, which has this 4 hours for 100 rmb room rental. She told me it was the first time she ever 'made love' in the shower. I feel kind of strange by the fact that she referred to sex as 'making love.' In any case, I am looking around for a new job.

9 years 45 weeks ago
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9 years 45 weeks ago
 
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Wake up from your dreams and go out and find a girl in real life.

Your story reeks. Chinese women are not innocent but they are extremely careful. Anyone who has really been with a married woman ccan back up that point. (They don't usually get careless until after you have been involved with them and you try to end it)

But like I told you before, this is china. Getting some is not a big deal. Stop dreaming up stories and go out and get some.

Vallyntin:

I've had two posts where you have done nothing but talk $hit, where are your stories you dirty old expat? Where are the notches on your bedpost? Let's hear some stories Obi Wan!

9 years 45 weeks ago
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9 years 45 weeks ago
 
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Now what?  Go to the hospital and get a shot of penicillin, at least.

Vallyntin:

This is good advice. After today's lunch I am carrying condoms in my wallet. wink

9 years 45 weeks ago
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9 years 45 weeks ago
 
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Wow. Your not a very discreet chap are you? If she was looking for a quiet fling on the side, she might just have made a bit of a mistake last night.

 

Do the happy couple have any kids at all?

 

 

 

Vallyntin:

They have a son. He is.. 4 or 5 years old.

 

Anyways, I am being discreet (or trying to be). This is the only place where I write or say anything on this topic. I have few expat friends here in Guangzhou, so I doubt anyone can open their mouth loud enough to reach my boss' ears.

9 years 45 weeks ago
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ScotsAlan:

Guangzhou eh?

 

If you fancy meeting up for a beer send me a pm.

 

I wont bring the wife though .

 

Only Joking. Seriously, if you want a beer pm mewink

9 years 44 weeks ago
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Ah, so you read my previous post on how to get revenge. 

 

Good for you, glad it worked... now get out of China. hahaha

Vallyntin:

We did it again this afternoon. I don't know if it's revenge, but it felt great. I'll find a new job, probably not in Guangzhou, that should be enough.

9 years 45 weeks ago
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Governor

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dude you are my hero.  I hope she was dirty!  I mean in a good way.  Next time my GF is over I am going to imagine she is your boss's wife.  

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9 years 45 weeks ago
 
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*sigh*

 

I have a confession to make. I've been with 2 people's wives... an expat and a Chinese guy's wife. Yes, I regret it very, very much and I'm very ashamed of myself. I wish I never did it.

 

Did I enjoy the 8+ hour sex marathons? Yes, yes I did... but it wasn't worth it.

 

Trust me when I say this: nothing good can come of this... get the fuck out while you still can. Don't let it continue. If you let it go too far (it's already too far, but I mean even further than that), and think she's going to leave him for you, please believe me when I say that she's going to stay where the money is. She'll never leave him for you.

 

She'll cry, beg, and say she'll kill herself if you don't come back to her, but it's all bullshit. Chinese girls love to do this. "I'll kill myself if you leave me, Hulk!" Even if it isn't bullshit, just get the fuck out as soon as possible. NOTHING good can come of it.

ScotsAlan:

Yup hulk. It's not a thing to boast about, is it.

 

I was going to post the question "  I just found out one of my ESL teachers is having an affair with my wife. How can I get revenge?"

 

But I decided not to.

 

It happened to me 15 years ago back home. A good friend who I trusted was shagging my wife behind my back. I was totally fecked up for a few years because of that.   Betrayal of trust for the sake of a quick knee trembler !!! yeah right.

 

9 years 45 weeks ago
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Hulk:

Really sorry to hear that, ScotsAlan. In my defense... wait, there's no way to defend anything I did. It was wrong no matter what.

 

Both women fed me sob stories... "my husband beats me, chokes me, etc." So I tried to get them away from their husbands into a safe place, but they ended up wanting ME instead. They kept threatening suicide if I wouldn't be with them. They were relentless and ended up begging me for months.

 

In a hindsight, I should've just taken off and blocked them on facebook, etc.

9 years 45 weeks ago
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Vallyntin:

I understand what you mean. There is a certain undercurrent of disillusionment about sleeping with a married woman. As per what you said, she also fed me stories about her sense of isolation, marital abuse, disrespect, etc.. I do feel bad for her, I mean this is an incredibly smart (today I learned the woman has a master degree from Tsinghua!!!) and sexy woman that appears to be very isolated. She told me even her son doesn't respect her. All the love and respect in the family flows to her rich and successful husband.

 

Unlike yourself, I can't even claim that I am trying to protect her, I just.. want to have sex with her. I have no illusions about the point or goal of our 'relationship.'

9 years 45 weeks ago
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Hulk:

Chinese women often use sob stories to get sex from westerners who don't want to help them cheat. They try to make you feel bad for them.

 

But I totally understand you. I just wanted to have sex with those girls, too, among other things... but I'm a sociopath or something because I led the second one on... up until the day I dropped her and sent her husband pictures of her mouth stuffed with Hulksausage. 

 

She told him I raped her, so I kept the videos, photographs and chat logs  (even to this day) because she tried to say it was "rape." Be very careful because if this goes south, this woman might accuse you of raping her, dude. SERIOUSLY.

 

I really did love the first girl, though... so that one really hurt when we broke up. It was still wrong, I know...

9 years 45 weeks ago
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9 years 45 weeks ago
 
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a lot of chinese marriages are set up by family to make babies. the anticipation of money and a tingly feeling between the legs is enough to get the 2 strangers to agree with it at the start. later on, the only thing that keeps people togetger is face and family obligations. most chinese won't step away from that duty, but they will play around on the side. perhaps it will work out for you discreetly, but probably not.
i'm married, and the following considerations lead me to decide against it, whenever the mistress-temptation strikes:
(1) maybe she just wants to enjoy sex, and will help you keep it quiet happily ever after
(2) or maybe she wants gifts? or even worse. INTENDS to blackmail you from the get-go
(3) if she's going to tell her friends (face-ain for any woman who isnt virgin) that will be a problem
(4) she might expect to go out with you, to be seen in public for the face-gain again
(5) and even if she's well-intentioned, chinese women have epic arguments and mood swings. dont expect any moderation from her when she wants to hurt your feelings back.
(6) seeing a woman regularly creates a fast expectation of divorce, so you can get married. if this girl is a pretty plaything for your rich boss, you cant support her lifestyle. i'm married to a sichuanese myself, and despite her being a kind woman, it isnt easy to satisfy lifestyle expectations.

mike695ca:

Your right about the sichuan women part. So i certainly dont think shes looking for an open relationship. But the face and showing off to friends is certainly in play. Shes probably more interested in having a toy to talk with and make her feel good. Emotionally and physically. Either way, it cant end well screwing with the man that controls your moneycand visa. Yikes!

9 years 45 weeks ago
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Vallyntin:

Yeah, you guys are absolutely right. I have that feeling from her. I try not to put much thought into it, just ride it out and then get out before the $hit hits the fan.

9 years 45 weeks ago
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9 years 45 weeks ago
 
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LMAO - if it's true. The way she's acting now, you are proper f#$ked!
And you want more?!?!? You in love?!?!

Please update! I beg you!

Vallyntin:

No love. 100% sure of that. I just feel weak in the knees when she is around. When I had seen her before we had sex, I had stared at her several times, had a chat or two, etc.. I'm still shocked that I am having sex with this woman. I feel like I need to find my next job in Sichuan. There is something... guilty in the pleasure that I get from being with her. It's potent, like a drug. Her almost perfect body and physical hunger are a part of it, but the other part is.. something else I cannot accurately describe, but it's not love.

9 years 45 weeks ago
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bill8899:

Oh my, you are so poetic. Such a romantic. Do you read what you write?  By Lady Gaga you sound like it's the first time you ever had sex. Relax, you're trying too hard.

Anyway, there are various other reasons you need a new job. 

Find another job. Hope she doesn't bribe you or simply make your life miserable!

Let us know. Maybe you'll get married with her husband's blessing and live happily ever after. It might happen. Nothing can hinder the progress of true love.

Keep us posted. 

9 years 45 weeks ago
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bill8899:

and BTW, the things you say, the way you say them, your desire, to share ... mesmerises me, gives me this feeling deep in my soul. That you're bluffing.

9 years 45 weeks ago
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mike695ca:

Hahaha I would agree with you that it does sound fake, but I have experienced the exact same thing. When I was in GZ working at a training center I this sichuan girl came in and OMG i went insane. I declared to my colleagues that this was my future wife and anyone seen speaking to her would die.  I have never been attracted to a chinese girl untill that day. 2 days later she was mine. After a brief honeymoon period , the next 2 and a half years of my life where hell. All sichuan girl stereotypes rang true to the 10th degree. 

They are the devil. 

9 years 45 weeks ago
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9 years 45 weeks ago
 
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-Step 1: Raise your hand

-Step 2: High five!

 

You did screw up big time, though. You'd better end it before it gets serious or feelings get involved, or simply that her husband finds out.

Who knows what kind of guanxi that guy might have. It's all fun and games until someone gets banned or imprisoned.

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9 years 45 weeks ago
 
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Governor

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you did use a condom?

 

 

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9 years 45 weeks ago
 
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9 years 45 weeks ago
 
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Governor

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YOU fucked your boss's wife at your boss's house and  ended up doing it for 2 or 3 hours.Are you kidding me ?

bill8899:

He posted it on the internet. It must be true.

9 years 45 weeks ago
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DrMonkey:

If the guy was very drunk, well, technically possible. Especially by taking in account the macho factor (30 minutes fooling around = 3 torrid hours). I've seen crazier than that :D

9 years 45 weeks ago
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Vallyntin:

It wasn't two or three hours of straight sex. I'm not a porn actor. The first time ended on the dining table, which probably lasted.. 30 minutes total from the onset of kissing to having a rest. After that we went to another room. She took off her dress and got on top of me the second time, which was maybe 5 minutes after the dining room, that lasted another 20 minutes. It was like that through several positions until I couldn't go any more.

9 years 45 weeks ago
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Hulk:

2-3 hours is nothing to brag about... I don't know why you guys are giving him shit for it, lol.

 

I've done 9 hours straight once... averaging 5-7 a day. SHUT UP!!!! I WAS A VIRGIN!!!! I WANTED IT SO BAD.

9 years 45 weeks ago
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9 years 45 weeks ago
 
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A first timer, virgin, not hard to find someones wife, just watch that you don't get stabbed in a restaurant. Did she comment on how big you were?indecision

,

BTW, how was her breathe?

For tomorrow, can you get drunk enough and wake up with a guy?

Vallyntin:

Funny thing is she did not comment on penis size. Probably due to the fact she told me she was a very 'open' girl before she got married. She told me I was her first foreigner, but her husband was her 12th man before she got married.

 

As a side-note, you talking about being a virgin, that was the first time I had sex with someone more mature than myself. And her breathe didn't reek of alcohol, but it did reek of CIGARETTES!! Which I had to get used to~

9 years 45 weeks ago
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TedDBayer:

She probably lost count after she got married.

9 years 44 weeks ago
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TedDBayer:

It's only 15 yr olds that tell you big

9 years 44 weeks ago
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9 years 45 weeks ago
 
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Governor

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this site is so entertaining surprise

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9 years 45 weeks ago
 
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Emperor

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Gonna need a photo so we know you're telling the truth.

TedDBayer:

a without alcohol pic?

9 years 45 weeks ago
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9 years 45 weeks ago
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Hulk:

Teddybear!!! coolcoolcoolcoolcoolcoolcool

9 years 45 weeks ago
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Vallyntin:

Yeah sure man, no problem, next time we sneak off together, I'll just take a few photos. She'll understand when I explain it's for a website I use that other foreigners often frequent. angry

9 years 45 weeks ago
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Hulk:

Maybe she'll understand, Vallyntin. Maybe she'll see it as "free advertisement"?

9 years 45 weeks ago
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harvey2face:

I guess this is really one of your wifes lol

9 years 45 weeks ago
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Gonna need a photo so we know you're telling the truth.

bill8899:

Like they say - 

pics or it didn't happen.

9 years 45 weeks ago
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9 years 45 weeks ago
 
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Shifu

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Oh how I would love to fuck over my boss.

Sadly, I am married. So, it's a disappearing act in August for me! Shhhh.

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9 years 45 weeks ago
 
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