Extremely well expressd.
A loud clap!

Thank you for affirming that I'm not completely crazy (only a little). Very well said.

Have you lived in a different city? Nanning has a large ethnic population, I've visited and lived in cities with large ethnic populations, people somehow learn to be more respectful and conscious of others. I've seen people taking a shit in the middle of the street in Guangzhou and on the grass out in the open here at school. 

Question to you, how is pointing out what I see xenophobic?

Listen here and listen well... 

I have seen only two people take a dump in the streets of China within a ten year span. One of them was a child outside my hotel... during my wedding. 

Did I let that ruin my day, like it was some sort of dark omen? 

Absolutely not. 

I didn't know how to take it... I just decided my wedding was worth more than than dwelling on such a ridiculous action. I wanted to experience what it felt like to go through the occasion in a small town. 

Marching bands, fireworks, rows of people I don't know... a unique experience unlike any other...

Which would you prefer to remind you of during your stay in a foreign country during a monumental experience? 

Firstly to Engleteachted,  where did i say YOU were xenephobic, I said sometimes people posting here were, it was a general statement not aimed specifically at you. However I do find it interesting that you immediately thought I was talking specifically about you. I have not lived in another city but have traveled reasonably widely in the last five years and seen most of China's major cities. As to your comment of "it is not our version" many people here do berate the Chinese because they do not have the same manners as us and constantly say things like why can't they be more like us, ie civilised. They do not use these exact words but this is the meaning that comes over loud and clear. Again I ask why do we assume that they should follow our manners when their cultural upbringing has been so vastly different. For example my mother in law will talk at the meal table whilst displaying all she is eating. Do I like this? No of course not but in every other way she is a sweet old lady. Am i man enough to overlook this, of course I am. When I hear her stories of China in the past I realise she is lucky to be here  and would I be any different if I had experienced what she has during her life. Manners fluctuate wherever we are, The Chinese look at us eating pizza with our fingers and probably think we are disgusting, so why do we not change in this instance to doing things their way? If we get offended so easily by some foreign habits maybe we should have stayed at home where everything is as it should be. The whole point of travel is to experience the new. Sometimes we do not like the new and sometimes we do, but at all times should be capable of overlooking those things which do not directly affect us. Again this is not a criticism of you but of people generally who wish everything is like back home and are too thin skinned to accept that sometimes things are different and sometimes we will not like those differences. What China needs is improved education and I do not just mean that at school. There are many Chinese I know who disapprove of the behaviour of their fellow countrymen and things are changing here, albeit slowly. How many years did it take in our countries to accept smoking in restaurants etcetera was not acceptable? China will adapt but it will be at least another two generations yet.

I will tell you a story about my first film.  I hope it is enough on topic that it is of benefit to this conversation.

My first movie was to be a documentary about the sad history of China after Mao's Revolution, a touchy subject to be sure.  Of course, as with any documentary, if I had no first hand witness accounts, my film would be useless.  So the difficult challenge was to find someone who was willing to speak about what they experienced.  Most Chinese are very resistant to speak about such things, especially to a foreigner.  I was desperate to find someone to give me some insight.  One day, I was discussing my project to a group of English students.  One of them, a young girl, said that her great grandmother often told her stories about those days.  I asked her if she could convince her grandmother to relate some of her tales.  She said she would try.  I was very excited.

So I went with her to her hometown village in Hunan.  Her grandmother dwelled in a one room house in a village of one room houses with little or no decoration.  I think it was my first exposure to a real Chinese village.  After a small meal, we sat down together, the three of us and the old woman slowly began to speak.  I won't reveal the contents of her story, it was too sad, but partway through her telling of it, mid-sentence, she stopped speaking.  Her face....... it turned expressionless and blank, very much like the blank-faced peasants we see on Chinese streets every day.  I particularly remember her eyes.  They expressed so much, too much for me to bear.  She just stopped speaking and went quiet.  And I began to cry uncontrollably.  I cried because of her story and I cried because of her expression.  The English student, who was our translator just looked at me, mouth agape.  Maybe she didn't know what to think of me.

That evening, she took me back to a small house where I had slept the night before and she let me make love to her.  As I held her, she wept so hard and freely it was almost violent.  If an onlooker were peeping at us, maybe it would seem we were struggling, but it seemed to me that she was trying to crawl under my skin.  And her tears were so much that I thought she might dry up in my arms.  It was as if she was channeling all the sadness from her grandmother into my body.  I have never before or since heard such a mixture of sorrow and pleasure together in a woman's voice.  It  was a human connection that I will never forget.

The next morning, I decided not to make the documentary.  How could I?  How could I properly express what these people went through?  How could I communicate the quiet dignity shown in the blank face of someone who has witnessed a parent eating her newborn daughter to survive.  I'm no Steven Spielberg, how can I possibly do justice to these people's stories?

During the Great Leap forward and later the Cultural Revolution, an army would come into their town and take the livestock.  Sometimes there was an inquisition.  They were asked about the activities of their neighbors, their teachers, their own families.  Any sign of a undesired answer in their speech or expression could mean their life.  Their blank, emotionless faces were their means of survival.  It is not that they didn't care,  they weren't allowed to care.  They owned what they were allowed to own.  They ate what they were allowed to eat.  They did what they were ordered to do.  Most old Chinese people have a story.  It is hidden in the recesses of their minds.  For some of them, it was sent there automatically by their brains - a self preservation mechanism.  Some of them, with great effort, forced the atrocities they experienced into the subconsciousness. These are the ones who were able to survive.

These days, in the aftermath, we see the after effects of something we can never fathom.  Often I look away and complain.  I hate it.  But the respect for them never leaves me.  Why do these people stare at me with that blank, Chinese stare?  Perhaps because they have seen the unbearable.  Maybe they are trying to communicate the unspeakable.  Maybe shitting on the street is all they had, all that they were allowed to do.

I apologize for being melodramatic,  but if you could get a glimpse of some of these people's experiences, if you could see through their eyes for just a moment, it might move you just as deeply.  I hate some of the things I have seen in China, and I have seen a lot of unbelievable things.  I abhor bad behavior by anyone.  But hatred......that would be unthinkable.

As I tell people all the time, these people are still developing, they haven't had the 80s effect, they are still learning to catch up to our style.

Q: Tomcat - how many parents or grandparents have you seen with a young kid, allowing them to shit or piss on the sidewalk? Or some other area where people are going to walk?

Does that affect people? Yes, it does. You really don't want to see just how that gets spread around.

Spitting... where don't people spit? Buildings, shops, restaurants (the most memorable to me was the fairly well-off guy in an 'expat' restaurant, at a table next to mine... constantly bringing stuff up and spitting on the floor under him... one of the first times I encountered the disgust of the spitting was by a student in my classroom... again, spitting at his feet! And the guys in the restaurant in Nanjing... and the various people on the buses... and trains.... and planes... and you have to wear your slippers when you stay in a hotel, because....). Now, I have to walk and sit in these places - so please don't tell me I'm not affected by it.  (NB - I'm not against spitting in general - only where it's done. There's a time and place for it).

You also seem to forget the impact that TV has had on Chinese culture. Much of the more modern aspects of 'civilisation' has been shown to them through TV and movies... and yet, people aren't spitting all over the place there... so, what gives?

You are right, though, in that most of the bad stuff people complain about (other than the driving) doesn't happen every day. And there are definitely some good people out there (unless you talk about business...).

But, as a basic, I sit at the back of the bus, and watch to see how many people an older or injured person has to go past before being offered a seat (I live in a university area, so most passengers are younger adults). It's usually around 20 or so kids who act oblivious to those around them - they know the older person is there, but they pretend not to notice (head down in the phone, or staring out the window).  I bring this point up because it's supposed to be one of the building blocks of Chinese society - respect your elders. What I'm getting at is - I don't think that it's us trying to impose our views of 'civilised behaviour' on Chinese - but of educating them on theirs!!!

Ask any student if it's ok to cheat in an exam, and they'll all say it's bad... and yet, they'll still do it. Ask anyone if it's civilised to spit in restaurants, and they'll tell you it's not... but they'll still do it. Queing up.. again, you should do it, but many will still jump (though, yes, many will berate for it - especially when in the ticket line for the train/bus...but not when getting on the bus/train).

Thanks for writing so much for this. Hope everything will change in a good direction. And one day, you will have nothing to write. You can write about yourself maybe. Lol.