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Posts: 316

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Q: what are the rules and regulations for marrying a chinese girl ?

what if we can not complete her and her family's condition and demand ? how to persude them ?

9 years 1 week ago in  Relationships - Qingdao

 
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Posts: 177

Governor

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You mean the legal rules?

I think it involves completing a form at the local government office, which will then take you to the City Hall, who will give you a certificate of singleness, which you take to your embassy, then back to the Town Hall.

All forms need to be translated, and the process can anywhere between 3 to ? months.

Otherwise, what are you trying to persuade her parents of, exactly?

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9 years 1 week ago
 
Posts: 42

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If you can't meet the family's conditions for marriage you might as well give up; its the same as getting a loan you get it or you don't. Try building a better relationship with the parents, learn about teh culture and give it time. Chinese culture puts the parents first. Your girlfriend's opinions hopes and dreams may mean nothing to them as she is just a kid in their mind.

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8 years 47 weeks ago
 
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rules for marring a chinese girl 1 own a house out right 2 earn at least 150,000$ per year and 3  dont rush in to it!! 

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8 years 35 weeks ago
 
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ask her to run away with you. but seriously if the family are in the way find someone else. 

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8 years 35 weeks ago
 
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There are really only 2 rules from the Chinese government to get married pay the marriage fee and have your papers from the embassy showing you are legally able to get married. It took my wife and I a few hours to get our red book and that was it. As for families making demands I was lucky my wife was very independent and told her family she was getting married regardless of what they said.

To me if she loves you she should tell her family to stick it and not kowtow to her parents ransom demands but that is me and that is certainly not the normal Chinese way. If they are unreasonable tell her goodbye if they are reasonable then work with them and play the game. To me it's digusting how people "sell" their daughters like chattel.

Unless you're loaded though forget buying a house imo.

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8 years 27 weeks ago
 
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Rule No. 1 : Have a ton of money!
Rule no. 2: Be willing to take her to Canada or USA.

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8 years 27 weeks ago
 
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rule #1; she must be chinese
rule #2; she must say yes, this is the only English word she needs to learn
rule #3: you need papers saying you are both single and able to be married. A good print shop will provide these and the translations
rule #4: you must have something in common, so eat rice three times a day
rule #5; you will marry her family, you must provide for her parents, so send them rubber cheques. They can not say anything or loose face. They will be nice while waiting and hoping for the next cheque. This makes for happy family relationship. You must be in control.
rule #6: see #1 and #2 are combined.
rule #7: most important one, make sure she is a woman

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8 years 27 weeks ago
 
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You can try to convince them. You would be fighting an uphill battle if they've already made up their mind about you. Just live and learn and try better next time. It's hard to persuade someone especially a chinese family if they already let you know what their decision is. 

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8 years 16 weeks ago
 
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Then try someone else. To be honest, love should be the key factor not raising a Chinese womans three generation family. If you love each other then go with that,, have her convience the family, if they want the traditional 20k to the mother 20k to the father, a house for you and her family, the car and money in the bank, you shouldn't think twice about going a different direction

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8 years 16 weeks ago
 
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May I add one more thing, when I married my wife, I had to literally ask permission from the father and this had to be signed by the local government. If she is willing to runaway with you, it should mean being married in your home country, the Chinese law is legit with marriage, I took my wife to America to marry her in my hometown after marrying here first and to our disbelief, when I gave them my passport number which they ask for to ensure you actually met first, they already knew we were married and said we couldn't obtain a marriage license if we already had a Chinese marriage license

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8 years 16 weeks ago
 
Posts: 1112

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i would show them through dance

you must click link

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kr7djGY1fhA

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8 years 16 weeks ago
 
Posts: 54

Governor

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Nobody mentioned  the most important rules and regulations  for A marriage  :

Rule 1: LOVE
Rule2:  Trust
Rule3: love and trust ...

These rules are universally  applicable .

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8 years 15 weeks ago
 
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Jillian, because we are in China. If you know the traditions than you will know that she is probably under the influence of the traditional way. Love means nothing, a house, car and money with a baby boy in the oven are god, not to say they are all like that but the majority is by far thinking this idea.

Watch a dating show here, first question, what's your job, second question, do you have a house, third question what can you do for me.

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8 years 15 weeks ago
 
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Actually, it's your girlfriend's business to handle with her parents.
I am a Chinese who married a foreigner, the one who has no money, no house, no lure of going abroad, but loves me in deep.
I spent almost one year to get my parents felt like happily ever after of my boyfriend and the final marriage.
Turely, it depends on your girl.

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8 years 15 weeks ago
 
Posts: 3339

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Nothing up the bum. 

PS: Judging by your English you are chinese. Why don't you go do something constructive?

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8 years 15 weeks ago
 
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Agree with nevermind, the fact you mentioned he has no money, house kind of seems like a derrogitive comment. But kudos to you for not being so traditional.

Last time I asked my wife what she thought of a foreigner as being poo or middle class she responded with anything below 1 million rmb is poor, anything up to 1 million US is middle class and pocket money for the rich anything above 1 million US dollars is common among Chinese.

I completely disagree with that, and told her she'll hate going to America or Canada, I'm just a Immigration, export/import international lawyer, at most I can make a low six figure number, she said, defend the criminals, it pays more

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8 years 15 weeks ago
 
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Rule  1 Dont.  Rule 2  dont . Rule 3 If you do marry Be #warned# happy ever after  is so rare

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8 years 1 week ago
 
Posts: 277

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Why should you worry about the rules? You're Xerxes. You're a living God.

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8 years 1 week ago
 
Posts: 55

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# 1 RULE:

DON'T DO IT>>.... Don't marry one... don't impregnate one....dont be a sucker!

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8 years 1 week ago
 
Posts: 46

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comply what rules and regulations? are the parents gonna sell their daughter? 

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8 years 1 week ago
 
Posts: 3

General

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Dude, You are about to make a huge Mistake.

Oh, And BTW, just for starters, Bank Accounts are Private in China. Meaning you Cannot work Here Period if you get. and Spousal LVisa. Meaning your wife needs to support you and In China That is a one way ticket to Divorce.

Oh, and did I mention You need to sue her to have a look see at the old finances. 

 Go Home, Don' t make the same mistake we all did. 

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7 years 43 weeks ago
 
Posts: 126

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I just married a Chinese girl. Her parents are wishy washy about the whole idea. one day they love me the next day they hate me. But we love each other and she lives with me now in the city where i work. We have cultural adjustments to make and learning to deal with them by communication. She is an English teacher , i am a English consultant and Educator. we learned communication is the key. know what you are getting into before you say i do. Know everything you need to know before hand and get ready for an adventure.

 

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6 years 28 weeks ago
 
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You must pay for and provide:  a home, a car, money for her parents, money for the wedding

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6 years 28 weeks ago
 
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Sit down with her father, use someone to translate (best to not be the daughter) and tell him your feelings for his daughter and how you will provide for and take care of her.

 

They are probably afraid of her being whisked away to a foreign land where they will never see her again. I faced this problem with my now father-in-law, this was his main concern. But after talking with him, he said that as long as I don't hurt her and I make her happy then we have his blessing. 6 months later we were married.

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6 years 28 weeks ago
 
Posts: 7204

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"what if we can not complete her and her family's condition and demand ? how to persude them ?"

 

Who is demanding what?  I read that as you can't meet her demands as well as those of her parents.

 

If you can't meet her demands at this point then you may as well forget it. As for her parents, if you don't have them on side it will probably not happen. I have been married to a Chinese woman for almost 4 years, and only now am I starting to learn the real meaning of "filial piety".

 

Filial piety is number one.

 

 

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6 years 28 weeks ago
 
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A: Going to HK would be the best bet I reckon, especially if you were loo
A:Going to HK would be the best bet I reckon, especially if you were looking for a church wedding. Chinese weddings are pretty grim IMO - you go to a barren govt dept with souless officials and navigate red tape so some guy can give you a red stamp and a marriage book. You get expensive pictures taken of you both posing in places you'd never go to in everyday life that is somehow supposed to represent your wedding, then a while later it's off to a restaurant where a game show host kind of guy makes sure it's as tacky as possible while the guests eat as fast as they can so they can leave as soon as they finish eating and gave you money. Hell, I'd go to Thailand or the Philippines and get married in Paradise.   -- Stiggs