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Q: What would you do with all those stares you got in China?
Chinese people always stare at unusual things, including YOU, a creature that basically looks normal by human standards and yet strikingly different from the Chinese perspective. What would you do if you were being stared at? How long did it take you to get used to it?
Different people react differently, so I suppose you and I would stare at different things we consider unusual. For instance, if you go to a far out village, people will stare at you because first, you are a stranger, second, you dress differently, and finally you speak a language they don't understand. They might find you strange. Similarly, you would stare at something that's out of the normal for you.
Coming back to your question, some people take it in their stride, some people never get used to being stared at. For me, it took all of 5 seconds because I am of Chinese descent and don't look any different from people living in the cities. However, when I was in a small village in Hubei, I get all manner of looks and stares from villages.
No, I don't look 'normal' to Chinese, especially when I'm in the warmer climate part of China. Keyword is 'short shorts', 'hairy' and 'colored eyes'
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I always put my forefinger to the lower eye-lash, and slightly pull it lower, with my eye- sight 'piercing' the 'star-gazer'....
One kid last week followed me with the same move
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You can't win with the kids! They can be hilarious!
I guess, eChina is in 'over-heat' mood. What 'caused that? I hope not the latest Q about 'edit': 'housing'.
Most often I just ignore them. Sometime I stare back, this is actually a pretty good way to boost your confidence, force your self to stare back, right in their eyes.
What would you do if you were being stared at?
The what if and would are superfluous, I got the staring for 4 years and counting, in Suzhou and in Hefei. I got the stare from people who see me every work day for 3 years. For example, a street sweeper will stop sweeping every morning when I walk, and just look at me, following me with his eyes. 3 damn years !!!
Most of the time I just pretend to ignore it, because getting angry at this would be extremely tiring : every time I go out, I will be stared, with the optional laowai being told not-quite-discretly. If I'm in a bad mood, I might say to those who stares & in poor Mandarin "If you see a Chinese, you don't look and say CHINESE, right ?!", "What are you looking at ?".
How long did it take you to get used to it?
I'm a bit shy, I really don't feel comfortable with being the center of the attention, so I am now very, very tired of it. I'm trained to ignore it, but I'm terrible at lying to myself and pretending that something I saw did not happen. It's one more reminder of "you are not from here, you will never belong to here, always a foreigner". At least, it fuels this feeling to me. I never had this sentiment while being in Vietnam, Cambodia, Laos.
It depends on the stare. Most times people look and it does not bother me but occasionally someone comes on with that deep hard look. You know the one that says get the hell out of my country. With that one I just stare straight back until they give up.
"Chinese people always stare at unusual things..."
No, even the unusual things stare back at you. I can't tell you the number of times a person with a missing limb, a burn victim, or any other disfigurement has stared at me like I'm the one who isn't "normal." You'd think since they are the pariahs within Chinese society they wouldn't be prone to staring at others who are "different." But alas, no.
I take it in my stride as use it as a green light to stare at the things I like staring at e.g. those very tight miniskirts, girls in sexy qipao's and other easy on the eye features. When in Rome as the Chinese like to say.
It depend of who is staring at me.
If it's a migrant worker who looks like he/she just arrived in the city I will stare back with a "nihao" or a "hello" and a smile, they are usually very surprised, almost scared, stop staring and walk away quickly because they don't know how to react.
If it's a kid I will react as I would with the migrant worker, and they will usually give me a big smile then run away.
If it's a hot looking lady I will stare back with a kinky look, check her from head to feet and say something nice in Chinese trying to get her number. It usually work.
If it's a young urban man with an arrogant look I will just ignore him, if he is insisting I will ask him if he has a problem.
If it's a group of people staring, shouting hello and giggling I will simply use my middle finger.
RachelDiD:
I have taken to staring at the gigglers and having a conversation with my friend in English that is obviously about them (gesturing, mimicking, laughing, basically mirroring their inexcusable behavior towards me). As I am about to leave, I will loudly say, 'Zhong Guo ren ting bu dong.' It is almost funny how quickly they go from boisterously nasty to silently seething when the tables get turned on them.
I do not get these stares because I am Chinese looking. But when I have to show them my passport before the train boarding which you have to in China, I get these stares.
I don't mind being stared at what bugs me is when a group of young fellas walk past you and they are tapping each other to look at you then when you're about 100 metres past them they start shouting HELLLLLLLLLOOOOOOOOOO in little high pitched voices.
On the other hand its kind of cool when the old people stare at you then when you smile and nod back at them they acknowledge you as a human.
Scandinavian:
well. HELLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO right back at ya 
The only thing Chinese people are not nosey about is your privacy.
I generally look back & give them a "ni hao", normally gets a smile. Doesn't happen as much in GZ now but does when I'm somewhere more rural.
About 7 years back, when I was still coming here for business trips I went to Tibet. Flew to Xining first to get the train from there to Lhasa. Had a day & a bit to waste so had a wander round the city. Only saw one other foreigner so got lots of stares which got my normal response. Though walking down one road there was a group of Tibetans walking towards me, staring & mentioning me to their friends. As they walked past I smiled & said "Tashi Delek" (hello in Tibetan), the beaming smiles I got back made my day!
jetfire9000:
Upvoted for the Xining reference. I just went there for 2-3 days (Did Xining for half a day, then went to Qinghai lake for a day and a half and went to another place in Qinghai province the final day) That was really the weirdest place I've been to in China... Doesn't seem Chinese at all! I was the only foreigner that I saw there, but the people genuinely weren't even interested in me. I heard there's no Starbucks in the entire province, and I didn't see a Mc D's in Xi Ning, although there may be one. Anyway, it seems they're so simple over there that they literally don't even feel interested in foreigners. Maybe it has to do with them being somewhat used to diversity though?
DrMonkey:
A possible reason for people to not interact with you in Xi Ning is plain paranoia.
The place used to be (and still is, to an unknown extent) the nuclear industry center for China. This is where the uranium is mined and processed, for instance. Many areas around Xi Ning are restricted. When I traveled there, many places where just forbidden for me, even a museum about the history of China's nuclear arsenal. In the guesthouse I stayed at, the owner did a speech to my wife, about guarding the national secrets from the foreigners, because they might be spies (said 50 cm from me in plain voice, spies surely don't understand any Mandarin, duh...). Imagine this kind of directives, followed by the average Wang who grew-up during the red guard era and who didn't go much farther from reading/writing/counting in his education, in a remote province.
Getns. To be fair, married, enganged or in a relationship, we all stare at the ladies right !
