The place to ask China-related questions!
Beijing Shanghai Guangzhou Shenzhen Chengdu Xi'an Hangzhou Qingdao Dalian Suzhou Nanjing More Cities>>

Categories

Close
Welcome to eChinacities Answers! Please or register if you wish to join conversations or ask questions relating to life in China. For help, click here.

By continuing you agree to eChinacities's Privacy Policy .

Sign up with Google Sign up with Facebook
Sign up with Email Already have an account? .
Posts: 124

Governor

0
0
You must be a registered user to vote!
You must be a registered user to vote!
0

Q: What's the percentage of Chinese men that cheat on their wives?

 

I play and have been playing with a Chinese soccer team on weekends for about 2 years now (Im the only non-Chinese) and the general topic of conversation at post-match dinners is where the best 'males services' are in town.

 

They're mostly young/middle aged men and I don't think that any of them is faithful to their wives.

 

Its not the first time that I have come across this with Chinese male friends.

 

Anyone have similar experiences?

 

6 years 13 weeks ago in  Lifestyle - China

 
Highest Voted
15
16
You must be a registered user to vote!
You must be a registered user to vote!
1

The problem, from my perspective, is that Chinese partners don't have common interests. After marriage they have nothing to talk about and no reason to be attracted to each other.

 

Having a partner whose company I find stimulating --- and who I can still engage in intelligent conversations with after several years together --- is a crucial prerequisite for marriage. In Western countries, we find out if we're really interested in the other person before considering marriage. That's sensible.

 

In China people don't consider intellectual compatibility, mutual interests or chemistry to be important --- just financial compatibility. After marriage, at least one of them is going to find that they're completely bored with the other person.

 

If I married someone with whom I felt a total lack of stimulation, I would cheat. I would cheat to stave off the realisation that I had nothing interesting or meaningful to look forward to for the rest of my life.

 

Most Chinese people do not actually have personal interests, so their chances of finding a partner whose company they find stimulating are zip.

 

In cafes I often see Chinese couples sitting together, both looking completely bored, playing on their respective phones. They have no interest in talking to each other. That's not a recipe for success.

Report Abuse
6 years 13 weeks ago
 
Answers (19)
Comments (31)
15
16
You must be a registered user to vote!
You must be a registered user to vote!
1

The problem, from my perspective, is that Chinese partners don't have common interests. After marriage they have nothing to talk about and no reason to be attracted to each other.

 

Having a partner whose company I find stimulating --- and who I can still engage in intelligent conversations with after several years together --- is a crucial prerequisite for marriage. In Western countries, we find out if we're really interested in the other person before considering marriage. That's sensible.

 

In China people don't consider intellectual compatibility, mutual interests or chemistry to be important --- just financial compatibility. After marriage, at least one of them is going to find that they're completely bored with the other person.

 

If I married someone with whom I felt a total lack of stimulation, I would cheat. I would cheat to stave off the realisation that I had nothing interesting or meaningful to look forward to for the rest of my life.

 

Most Chinese people do not actually have personal interests, so their chances of finding a partner whose company they find stimulating are zip.

 

In cafes I often see Chinese couples sitting together, both looking completely bored, playing on their respective phones. They have no interest in talking to each other. That's not a recipe for success.

Report Abuse
6 years 13 weeks ago
 
Posts: 81

Governor

0
0
You must be a registered user to vote!
You must be a registered user to vote!
0

Raise your hands or your glass of whatever evil concoction you are having if you think this question is sexist? 
We now live in a world of equal opportunity, right? 
So I want to know what percentage of Chinese women cheat on their husbands?devil
Ladies on the forum, you are also welcome to tell us if you cheat on your husband/bf.............anyone agree?
And as a FYI, I have never cheated ...............not yet anyway.............

Report Abuse
6 years 13 weeks ago
 
0
0
You must be a registered user to vote!
You must be a registered user to vote!
0

Part of what samsara said is true, but there's always pressure from the same families who pressured people together. The result is unhappy relationships, but not as much divorce as you'd imagine. Chinese family values are relatively stable and harmonious, but hardly blissful. It's the modernization that is creating a tremendous pressure on relationships. There are so many different kinds of luxuries that men and especially women can brag, posture and facesave over, that an annoying Sa Jiao trend can turn from endearingly cute to absolutely unbearable. Once women get older and lose their youthful looks, men have completely had it with their childish, selfish spouses, and will turn to infidelity. The men stupidly go after the next cute looking thing on the menu, and depending on their finances they will succeed. The women follow suit, but more to save face and perhaps get close to a more generous man. But divorce is not a choice made easily by anyone here, as there are entire families involved in it, and those ties are considered very important. I've heard prostitution is most common among young university girls, and a lot of the customers are frustrated older men.

Report Abuse
6 years 13 weeks ago
 
Posts: 9197

Emperor

0
0
You must be a registered user to vote!
You must be a registered user to vote!
0

Men do, the culture provides for this. I noticed this year that many hotels do not have massage floors any more, so maybe things are changing. Women do also, they say the husband is not good in bed.

Report Abuse
6 years 13 weeks ago
 
Posts: 4986

Emperor

0
0
You must be a registered user to vote!
You must be a registered user to vote!
0

Too many Chinese women won't put out to their partner because they generally don't love them. If you want to keep your man faithful, put out or you get shut out.

Report Abuse
6 years 13 weeks ago
 
Posts: 195

Governor

0
0
You must be a registered user to vote!
You must be a registered user to vote!
0

I also have the same feeling after living in china many years. The point is that chinese dont believe in love. They dont marry, date their couple because of love it is just because other interests. It is part of chinese culture

Report Abuse
6 years 13 weeks ago
 
0
0
You must be a registered user to vote!
You must be a registered user to vote!
0

It's not just the men. Women here cheat all the time as well. I know many women who have. 

Report Abuse
6 years 13 weeks ago
 
0
0
You must be a registered user to vote!
You must be a registered user to vote!
0

I think it's 50/50.  Most women in China are highly conservative and marry a man looking for stability and someone to take care of them.  This often leaves the husband high and dry.

 

The other 50 though, are men who are out to conquer as many women as possible in the middle kingdom.

 

You don't get to 1.5 billion people without some infidelity here and there.

Report Abuse
6 years 13 weeks ago
 
Posts: 129

Governor

0
0
You must be a registered user to vote!
You must be a registered user to vote!
0

I hear it's a normal thing...mistresses and gigolos...with the resulting illegitimate children...

Report Abuse
6 years 13 weeks ago
 
0
0
You must be a registered user to vote!
You must be a registered user to vote!
0

Check out this article: No quick fix for China's mistress culture

http://www.atimes.com/atimes/China/CHIN-01-291013.html

"....when Westerners first come to China, they are utterly perplexed by the strict division here between marriage, romance, and sex - for which, in Chinese thinking, of course (at least) three different types of women are required."

Of course one has to be able to support a mistress in the style in which she wishes to become accustomed. I have a friend, a well-to-do businessman who has a secret second family in another city.

Report Abuse
6 years 13 weeks ago
 
Posts: 2494

Emperor

0
0
You must be a registered user to vote!
You must be a registered user to vote!
0

l think in china there are two kinds of cheating and they mean different things here. one is a mistress, most cant afford it or are too afraid to get caught.
The other is hookers, ktv, and rub and tugs. id say damn near 100% of married dudes have at least done it once. including foriegners. the wives know or suspect but wont rock the boat for a handjob theyll never prove.

Report Abuse
6 years 13 weeks ago
 
Posts: 192

Governor

0
0
You must be a registered user to vote!
You must be a registered user to vote!
0

A teacher friend of mine has two lovers, one for mental stimulation and the other to maintain the house. She was the one that opened my eyes to the infidelities of the people here. 

 

With modernization comes exposure, with exposure comes a new consciousness. People no longer want to settle, they want it all. Love, romance, good sex and let's not forget money, and mental stimulation. Divorce rate in China is on the increase...regardless of family values.

Report Abuse
6 years 13 weeks ago
 
Posts: 3501

Emperor

0
0
You must be a registered user to vote!
You must be a registered user to vote!
0

What percentage of men from other countries cheat on their wives?

I reckon they'd be hard pressed to beat Chinese men.  And more likely to be less socially acceptable..... and therein lies the rub.

 

 

Report Abuse
6 years 13 weeks ago
 
Posts: 273

Governor

0
0
You must be a registered user to vote!
You must be a registered user to vote!
0

I know one guy who was seeing a women on a regular basis. He was disappointed when the women confessed to him that she was married.  He could not believe the deception.  He had let her know that he was married since the beginning.

Cheating is not just for men.  Women do it as well.

Report Abuse
6 years 12 weeks ago
 
Posts: 4986

Emperor

0
0
You must be a registered user to vote!
You must be a registered user to vote!
0

My mistresses and I are having a hard time figuring out why Chinese men are always cheating on their wives. We just can't believe it's so prevalent, and we're totally disgusted by their behavior.

 

They told me they'll never be with a Chinese guy again because all they do is cheat. It's ridiculous.

Report Abuse
6 years 12 weeks ago
 
Posts: 126

Governor

1
1
You must be a registered user to vote!
You must be a registered user to vote!
0

It is a major problem, especially most men treat women as property. This is appalling.

My wife and I , (she is Chinese) have lots in common and talk daily and try to do things together. She battles with cultural traditions because we are doing things differently other than how she was brought up.

from stats I have read 70% of the men cheat in China. 60% of the women cheat, whine, or shop  to make themselves feel good. 

With them stats something needs to change.

Sounds like a course needs to be taught on how to be faithful to your spouse.

Report Abuse
6 years 12 weeks ago
 
3
4
You must be a registered user to vote!
You must be a registered user to vote!
1

I appreciate the comments about not having common interests, as well as the comments about men and women cheating being 50/50, and realize that everyone is being honest and expressing their opinions. I don't wish to criticize anyone for their comments, However, some are are based on North American observations/culture.

My wife is Chinese and married me after leaving china and divorcing her Chinese husband. I have inherited a wonderful Chinese stepdaughter Smile

I have been studying the Chinese culture for almost 10 years. There is a very significant cultural difference between North America and China, and in fact between China and most of the world. I have some wonderful Chinese friends, married couples, whom I love dearly and would trust with my life, but they left China for good reasons and would not move back there. 10+ years ago divorce was extremely rare in China, women tolerated a lot of emotional abuse from their husbands, and a lot of cheating. Most men cheat on their wives and think it's perfectly acceptable. Chinese men tend to believe that if they are successful at supporting their wife (family) then they have earned the right to have a mistress, and have sex with other woman too, it's very commonplace there, this is the reason that so many of my wife's friends in China have recently got divorced or split up with their husband's, it's caused buckets of tears, even in my home. It's easy to have sex with a beautiful woman in china. North Americans regularly go to Sports bars where they leave their wife at home and pursue their love affair with beer and sports. In China men got to clubs where they pursue their love of food, alcohol, and sex with beautiful women. Prostitution is common. Many business men take their clients to these clubs and buy them alcohol and sex, my ex-wife's husband did it and I'm sure still does, even though he has since remarried (probably to the mistress that he was cheating on my wife with when they were still married).

My wife often say's with a smile on her face that I'm forbidden to ever go to China without her, because we both know how easy it would be for me to go to a club for a meal and have sex with a beautiful Chinese girl.

It's very rare to see white women in North America with a Chinese guy because the fact that Chinese men cheat on their wives in common knowledge, but I do see young white girls with young Chinese guys who were either born here or moved here when they were very young so they are not raised in the Chinese culture.

I read the link about how Chinese women give tips on how to please their husbands, my wife is very tender and loving, but it's sad that they feel the need to be so giving and submissive in order to try to minimize their husband's extra marital activity. They do the right thing for the wrong reason.

My wife's parents live together, but haven't spoken to each other in years because her father cheated on her mother many years ago, and she won't forgive him. The older Chinese generation are very much against divorce, they would rather live in misery for the rest of their lives. Although, in the case of some men, they will often send their wife to live in another country to get her out of the way, as did my wife's first husband. He sent her to Japan, Australia, and eventually Canada, where she finally settled and divorced him. My wife's best friend, who lives in China, is a mistress to a married man, and has been for 10 years, believing of course that some day he will leave his wife and marry her. My step-daughter, who is 18, Chinese, and westernized, say's her mom's friend is never allowed in our house and cannot visit us (it's cute that she feels that way).

We can only hope that over time Chinese women are able to get the respect that they deserve, and have faithful husbands, but don't hold your breath, it won't happen this year. These are of course my opinions, but they are based on my own experiences and backed up by a lot of facts. If you read my very long reply I hope that you can appreciate it and not be offended.

Smile

 

Report Abuse
4 years 51 weeks ago
 
0
0
You must be a registered user to vote!
You must be a registered user to vote!
0

I discussed this question with a Chinese colleague and asked him his views on it... He said almost 80% men cheat on their wives. 

 

 

And the justification is - after few years of marriage the man gets bored and wants a change. 

 

 

Report Abuse
4 years 51 weeks ago
 
Posts: 52

General

0
0
You must be a registered user to vote!
You must be a registered user to vote!
0

If 70%or 80% Chinese men cheat on their wives  ,, I would like to know what is the percentage of  Europe and  Us  men cheat on their.wives ?

Report Abuse
4 years 51 weeks ago
 
Know the answer ?
Please or register to post answer.

Report Abuse

Security Code: * Enter the text diplayed in the box below
Image CAPTCHA
Enter the characters shown in the image.
  • Allowed HTML tags: <a> <em> <strong> <cite> <code> <ul> <ol> <li> <dl> <dt> <dd> <img> <br> <p> <u>
  • Web page addresses and e-mail addresses turn into links automatically.
  • Lines and paragraphs break automatically.
  • Textual smileys will be replaced with graphical ones.

More information about formatting options

Forward Question

Answer of the DayMORE >>
A: Going to HK would be the best bet I reckon, especially if you were loo
A:Going to HK would be the best bet I reckon, especially if you were looking for a church wedding. Chinese weddings are pretty grim IMO - you go to a barren govt dept with souless officials and navigate red tape so some guy can give you a red stamp and a marriage book. You get expensive pictures taken of you both posing in places you'd never go to in everyday life that is somehow supposed to represent your wedding, then a while later it's off to a restaurant where a game show host kind of guy makes sure it's as tacky as possible while the guests eat as fast as they can so they can leave as soon as they finish eating and gave you money. Hell, I'd go to Thailand or the Philippines and get married in Paradise.   -- Stiggs