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Posts: 41

Governor

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Q: What's with the platonic touching between same-sex friends?

This one baffles me...

Opposite sex never touch unless they're a couple. It's just not done. Try to pat a female friend on the back and you'll feel the awkwardness being discharged by your circle of Chinese friends.

Yet people of the same sex have no qualms touching, caressing, holding hands, hugging each other. And not just girls. I've seen guys in their 20s holding hands. Guys I knew. Guys you were in serious relationships with women.

On top of that there's this profound rejection of homosexuality.

12 years 8 weeks ago in  Culture - China

 
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Posts: 2253

Emperor

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Because of where you come from...let me repeat that: because of where you come from, it seems really odd (and maybe even homosexual). However, friends of the same sex have no problem touching eachother, and I don't see the big deal. The reason you, as a guy, can't touch a girl is because you aren't dating her. It's really obvious when a guy and a girl are dating. A guy and a girl can't hang out alone together, people will think they are dating.

They're probably wondering why we never touch our friends, like we don't even care about them. I kind of like it, because here, homosexuality has nothing to do with how you touch people. If they deny it, it's because they don't want to know about it. People here keep it to themselves. I think the guys back home are a little too sensitive about the touching issue. While the guys here can get a little silly, I think they're a lot more carefree because of it.

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12 years 8 weeks ago
 
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It's just how they are. No more different than us not touching each other. 

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12 years 8 weeks ago
 
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In some Middle Eastern countries, it is not unusual for straight men who are friends to hold hands while walking in public.

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12 years 8 weeks ago
 
Posts: 796

Shifu

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Sometimes we touch friends of the same-sex to show them our intimacy as close friends and sometimes we touch strangers to make them know  that we are friendly.It has nothing to do with homosexuality,it is just natural for people to act like this because it is part of our culture,just like people of the same sex seldom touch each other in west countries.The  question reminds me of a comment which i saw on a certain site  and was writen by a foreigner teaching in China.She thought most of her students were  homosexual for the same reason you mentioned.In fact,it is no more than culture difference,Just as we seldom say thanks and sorry to our families or close friends,which may appear strange to westerners.

kchur:

The 'thanks' thing I get, the 'sorry' thing I don't understand in the slightest. I'm giving you guys the benefit of the doubt on this one but I still don't get it.

12 years 8 weeks ago
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chenhan:

If people say sorry to those who are close to them, it would mean that he/she has made a big mistake, because usally we wouldn’t say the word if problem is not bad enough.

12 years 8 weeks ago
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12 years 8 weeks ago
 
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Don't you love cultures where any kind of physical or emotional contact has been made extremely awkward and frowned upon?

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12 years 8 weeks ago
 
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Governor

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I find that people here in their 20s lets say, are alot more immature than their western counterparts. I guess this is the because of their educational system and the whole general insitutionalised upbringing. But it seems only immature in certain personality aspects, they can hold down responsible jobs and see the need to save and plan for life... they are f**cking the hell out of eachother and having lots of abortions yet cant talk about sex without getting very embarrased. At the same time as being very mature in certain aspects of life, when they go for lunch (in my factory) its done in a manner that reminds me of my pre-school; they all line up on the blow of a whistle for roll call and then run off together like kids would to the playground... girls interlocking arms and guys also in groups with their arms around eachother shoulders... just like in school.....and these are 20 year olds, some i guess into their mid 30s...weird at first.

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12 years 8 weeks ago
 
Posts: 47

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i just think that the holding hands is a positive expression of thier friendship. Since I have been in China, I only see women holding hands together. I see men having thier arms around each other and nothing more. I see nothing wrong with this or sexual. I admit i was a little thrown back when my chinese friends who are girls would hold my hand. But I like that, of course!
The way chinese express friendship is better then chest bumping, fist bumping, and head knocking from where I am from.

derek:

Chinese girls hold your hand? For no apparent reason? Really? In my 6+ years here, I haven't had that happen once. I trust you understand my disbelief here.

12 years 8 weeks ago
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12 years 8 weeks ago
 
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