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Posts: 3855

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Q: Why do Chinese businesses rely on translation tools?

A friend went to Beijing recently and was given this brochure by the hotel.

Getting There:
Our representative will make you wait at the airport. The bus to the hotel runs along the lake shore. Soon you will feel pleasure in passing water. You will know that you are getting near the hotel, because you will go round the bend. The manager will await you in the entrance hall. He always tries to have intercourse with all new guests.

The Hotel:
This is a family hotel, so children are very welcome. We of course are always pleased to accept adultery. Highly skilled nurses are available in the evenings to put down your children. Guests are invited to conjugate in the bar and expose themselves to others. But please note that ladies are not allowed to have babies in the bar. We organize social games, so no guest is ever left alone to play with them self.

The Restaurant:
Our menus have been carefully chosen to be ordinary and unexciting. At dinner, our quartet will circulate from table to table, and fiddle with you.

Your Room:
Every room has excellent facilities for your private parts. In winter, every room is on heat. Each room has a balcony offering views of outstanding obscenity! .. You will not be disturbed by traffic noise, since the road between the hotel and the lake is used only by pederasts.

Bed:
Your bed has been made in accordance with local tradition. If you have any other ideas please ring for the chambermaid. Please take advantage of her. She will be very pleased to squash your shirts, blouses and underwear. If asked, she will also squeeze your trousers.

Above All:
When you leave us at the end of your holiday, you will have no hope. You will struggle to forget it.

 

4 years 4 weeks ago in  Transport & Travel - China

 
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Hahahahahahahahahahah This is a total Freudian slip. I cannot stop laughing. Hahahahahahahaha. Here are some gems collected from that brochure: 

 

"Getting There:

Our representative will make you wait at the airport."

 

"The manager will await you in the entrance hall. He always tries to have intercourse with all new guests." That takes the price of it. Hahahahahahahah. 

 

'We of course are always pleased to accept adultery. '

 

"Highly skilled nurses are available in the evenings to put down your children. Guests are invited to conjugate in the bar and expose themselves to others. "

 

"But please note that ladies are not allowed to have babies in the bar." Whaaat? OMG, I am laughing out loud. Those are gems to tell others. 

 

 

"Your Room:

Every room has excellent facilities for your private parts." 

"Each room has a balcony offering views of outstanding obscenity!"

 

Here comes a terrible one:

"You will not be disturbed by traffic noise, since the road between the hotel and the lake is used only by pederasts."

 

Then it goes more: 

 

"If you have any other ideas please ring for the chambermaid. Please take advantage of her."

 

No wonder you will lose hope: 

 

"If you have any other ideas please ring for the chambermaid. Please take advantage of her."

 

What a disaster!!!

 

I had my laught at the beginning, but as I went through the OP I realized is not funny anymore. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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4 years 4 weeks ago
 
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Posts: 348

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Hahahahahahahahahahah This is a total Freudian slip. I cannot stop laughing. Hahahahahahahaha. Here are some gems collected from that brochure: 

 

"Getting There:

Our representative will make you wait at the airport."

 

"The manager will await you in the entrance hall. He always tries to have intercourse with all new guests." That takes the price of it. Hahahahahahahah. 

 

'We of course are always pleased to accept adultery. '

 

"Highly skilled nurses are available in the evenings to put down your children. Guests are invited to conjugate in the bar and expose themselves to others. "

 

"But please note that ladies are not allowed to have babies in the bar." Whaaat? OMG, I am laughing out loud. Those are gems to tell others. 

 

 

"Your Room:

Every room has excellent facilities for your private parts." 

"Each room has a balcony offering views of outstanding obscenity!"

 

Here comes a terrible one:

"You will not be disturbed by traffic noise, since the road between the hotel and the lake is used only by pederasts."

 

Then it goes more: 

 

"If you have any other ideas please ring for the chambermaid. Please take advantage of her."

 

No wonder you will lose hope: 

 

"If you have any other ideas please ring for the chambermaid. Please take advantage of her."

 

What a disaster!!!

 

I had my laught at the beginning, but as I went through the OP I realized is not funny anymore. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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4 years 4 weeks ago
 
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You should have a look at Chinese traffic signs bilingual translation in English ... I don't recall now, but you can see it if you take bus to Beijing or even bus to Shenzhen.

 

Now, in Kaifeng, Henan, they have big building marked with huge Chinese characters and English translation/name capitalized 'CITIZENS HOME'.

It is a government's building ... where you can get fishing permits and similar.

Smaller "SAFEA ..".

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4 years 4 weeks ago
 
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I suspect, in a lot of cases at least, it's because some manager has a friend or family member with a kid who slept through years of English classes but can sing 'happy birthday' perfectly at family gatherings so hired that English expert to translate their brochure because the guanxi system is hard at work there and someone owes someone else a favour.

 

The expert, funnily enough is only proficient in 'Chinese English' so breaks out the translator, nobody knows the difference, everyone is happy because a favour owed has been repaid and tourists have a good chuckle.

 

It's a win win situation for all.

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4 years 4 weeks ago
 
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Have a read of this feat:

 

https://news.yahoo.com/china-building-hospital-10-days-195714692.html

 

... and compare it with your Q.

 

I mean, is learning English really that difficult or they are just lazy? Even, why they wouldn't use 10 of English teaching foreign experts in China to get proper English out of ...

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4 years 4 weeks ago
 
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