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Posts: 284

Shifu

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Q: why do foreigners always say chinese men beat women?

It is very stranger I always hear foreigners say chinese men beat women.Is it because you hear Li yang beat his western wife.

14 years 8 weeks ago in  General  - China

 
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Posts: 243

Shifu

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Well seems to be a common practice. Just like paulmartin said, me too: 29 years living in my country never saw it;  5 years living here I've seen it 6 times in the street. Real hard fights, in half of them they both kicked their asses, not just the man to the woman as everybody would've expected. I felt happy for the girls hehe

Also I've seen couples discussing in the street and the guy's attitude clearly frightens the girl, sometimes they almost hit her. Is hard to not judge, but if that happens in the street what could happen when they are in a place where no one can see?

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13 years 21 weeks ago
 
Posts: 1968

Emperor

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I have also seen this on the rare occasion, rare, I admit, but nonetheless violent, on the street, publicly, and no one intervenes, nothing, and the police nearby don't intervene, etc.,etc.

 

That being said, the courts at home are full of divorce cases where the husband battered the wife.

 

So is this an exclusive to China...I would bet not.

MissA:

I want it noted by any site newbies, this was a Chinese poster who pretended to be American. Her 'home' experiences here are fabrications (lies) - and if I were American and this poster pretended to be from my country I'd be deeply insulted.

13 years 9 weeks ago
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13 years 9 weeks ago
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TedDBayer:

Naaa, wrong poser,,, many of the married Chinese women I knew would show me the bruises their husbands gave them. At home I don't know anyone thats beats his wife, good way to spend a night in jail. I don't mind the reverse. I've always said - beat me, bored me, don't ignore me.

13 years 9 weeks ago
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giadrosich:

"Thumbs-up" to MissA for pointing this out!

13 years 9 weeks ago
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thewetblanket:

Get em MissA

13 years 9 weeks ago
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13 years 21 weeks ago
 
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13 years 21 weeks ago
 
Posts: 83

Shifu

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Maybe because foreigners notice it more.  It does seem that in China it is totally acceptable for a man to beat and abuse a girl or woman in the street, while many stand around taking photos and video for Youku. Unsure then just have a look at Youku. Sad fact however it is reality.

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13 years 21 weeks ago
 
Posts: 38

Governor

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   Men beat the Woman it's happen in all part of the world, much or less

it's vary from place to place but.................

vice-versa 

Woman beat the Men, I first see that has here.

  真的不好看!!!  Really is a BAD scene!!!

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13 years 21 weeks ago
 
Posts: 263

Shifu

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I saw a Chinese man beat up his wife in the market in Russia, the police interfered & arrested the man but, to my surprise, the woman was begging the police officer to let her hubby go.  On the other hand women in China don't have respect for their men either. I would never ask my husband / boy friend to carry my purse or yell at him right in the middle of the street. 

 

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13 years 9 weeks ago
 
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They say it because they see Chinese men beat their women. It's also common on the TV shows. I gather it's acceptable here.

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13 years 9 weeks ago
 
Posts: 1989

Peasant

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诸葛亮 Thank you for your detailed post. It's hard for me to bear such reality and avoid the fact that I am so sorry all these it happens. 

 

I had a particular experience that made me think a lot of time after it took place in one of my classrooms at the school where I teach.

 

One day, in the early morning, when I got into the class, the assistant teacher was crying. I was just about to start the English class, when I heard that teacher crying loud, without being able to control herself. I felt compelled and sadness for her tried me so hard that I had to ask the other Chinese teacher about what was going on. What happened next was even more interesting as shocking to my whole understanding I had until that moment about those issues.

 

My students, aged 5 to 6 started to laugh out loud. While pointing their fingers to the place where the teacher was trying to hide herself, they were making fun and laugh at her. Feeling overwhelmed already by the fact that a woman was crying, I felt even astonished seeing how the little lads would make fun about her. I immediately stopped them and denied them any chance to make me be a part of their "moment of fun" at the expense of the unhappiness of their teacher. They stopped laughing. 

 

Later on that day I felt sad and asked the principal to talk to her and see if there would be any way to comfort her. But I couldn't get rid of that image seeing children laughing at their own teacher when she was crying. I know something about the sensibility and innocence of the children and the way they answer crying when their mothers or somebody very loved in their family cry. This is how they learn compassion for others. But seeing how every boy in the classroom would laugh at her was a scene of cruelty, though innocent. No compassion, no sympathy at all. I would never think of a child to be like this.

 

I also saw some boys aged 4, 5 or 6 punching with their fists the girls who would not defend themselves but laugh no matter how hard they were punched.  Then I realized that the boys are simply copying the behavior from their own parents learning to pour their anger against the girls in the classroom the same way their fathers pour their anger against their mothers. 

 

OK! Here it goes even further. In the baby class,  where children are aged from 1 to 3, I saw the same behavior. Boys would punch the girls when they get angry. One boy in particular would do it with precision and movement of an adult when he slaps in the face somebody. Moving his hand from left to right and from right to left, an almost 3 years old boy would slap the face of a little girl with anger. Right there I had the picture of his mother being beaten up this way by his father. I couldn't explain it otherwise. Once the boy was moved away from that girl, I asked the assistant about who is violent in his family. Her answer was: "Nobody!" That teacher would behave like any woman, victim of this sort of violence and hide the reality from the eyes of anyone. I couldn't get any information about that boy's family. I did get their message that this is only a family matter and I should leave it so. 

 

xinyuren:

wow, what a tragic story and I believe your conclusions about your observations are correct.  I have seen many cases where girls were abused by their boyfriends.  Too many bruises to count.  In a society where a girl is of so little value that they will abort the baby if they learn it is a female, we can expect nothing better.  In pre-modern China,  a girl born to a family was called a slave.  Today's Chinese people are not far removed from that mentality.  Such a pity, and such a shame.

13 years 9 weeks ago
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bill8899:

An insightful, albeit disconcerting post by Jeaniacob.

13 years 9 weeks ago
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13 years 9 weeks ago
 
Posts: 1989

Peasant

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guys who ever try to lay a finger on me will be so dead...

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13 years 9 weeks ago
 
Posts: 703

Shifu

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i have heard it. in the middle of the night throughout the week by a neighbour.

i stared the guy down every time i seen him. seeing if he wanted to step up to a man..he didn't.

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13 years 9 weeks ago
 
Posts: 1201

Shifu

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Cause i've seen that in person........Eyes can't make mistakes........End of Story.........and i bet many more did too.

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13 years 9 weeks ago
 
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  I've not seen it in my 8 years here, if I did i'd step in, but living in close quartered accommodation, i've heard domestic violence go on on a couple of occasions. Not as much as seems to be suggested here, but i've heard it. Heard of it of friends of my extended Chinese family too. This is a patriarchal society, so women are second class citizens. For that reason I imagine domestic abuse is psychologically more acceptable. Then again my dad used to beat the shit out of my mum. Tried to kill her four times. I can't hardly blame China for that. Might make life simpler if I could, but I can't. The wife's father is a better dad than I had, or either of my folks for that matter. As my favourite comedian, Louis C K said in his act, "I don't beat my kids, but my mum beat the hell out of me. That doesn't mean i'm better than my mum, it's just that i've got money and she didn't." Seems to me that people are about as good as they can afford to be, but when money goes out the door, love flies out the window.

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13 years 9 weeks ago
 
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