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Q: Why do you behave in that way?
Do you do the things you do because of a conscious decision to be a particular type of person, perhaps aspiring to be someone? Or are you just following the path that society has laid out for you in the sense that your parents, education, and daily interactions have already told you what you should and shouldn't do?
And how much control do you really have over yourself if your actions are almost entirely driven by instinctive urges developed while growing up?
EDIT: I should perhaps add something more to explain why this is relevant to China, although I suspect most people can think of a few reasons. One might be that expats are of course in a unique position to view one society from the perspective of someone that grew up in another society. This often bring us into conflict with the behaviour we see around us and can make us question long-held assumptions and even our core values.
Ethologists have shown that a high proportion of what we think is chosen by our "free will" is in fact the result of biological programming; we imagine that we have "free will" but we're more like robots than genuine free agents. The counterculture legend Robert Anton Wilson, and more mainstream behavioral economists like Daniel Kahneman, have compiled evidence and examples illustrating this. On top of this biological programming there is the cultural programming you mention. Maybe you can think of biological programming like hardware, and cultural programming like software.
Actually this is one reason I enjoy living here, the underlying cultural paradigm is quite distinct, and I notice this more-and-more as I spend more time here.
One way to think if it is like a fish swimming in a powerful ocean current: the current determines the fish's overall behavior, but the fish still has some freedom to swim around inside that current. In the same way culture and biology are powerful constraints and determinants on our behavior, but we can still have some freedom to "swim around".
happywanderer:
Couldn't agree more - almost everything is determined by biological factors and adherence to our own society's mores, sadly. But while we cannot overcome basic physical needs (other than delayed gratification). We do get some choice. As an expat, for example, you could choose whether or not to integrate, or even partially integrate. We can choose to re-evaluate those things that society tells us.
Englteachted:
"...biological programming like hardware, and cultural programming like software. ..."
Where is your citation? You are not the author of that term.
sam239:
That analogy comes from Robert Anton Wilson's "Prometheus Rising". Anyways this isn't a pedantic academic journal and it's pointless to make a little citation whenever you mention someone else's idea...as long as you're not claiming it as your own, trying to make a profit/reputation out of it, etc.
Englteachted:
When you use it without quotation marks and without stating clearly that you did not come up with the term; ie: "somebody once said... " Then you are taking credit for it.
sam239:
If you're certain that I'm not the author of that term, please point me to where it comes from. Actually it's a bit different than what either of those authors explicitly states.
Behavior is influenced by many things. Family, environment and education to name just a few....it varies from person to person.
cooter:
It's sad. My behavior has been influenced by your previous postings. For example, I just instinctively downvoted you, even though your answer wasn't half bad 
I'll return the favor since you told me.
That's an interesting question that I once considered. My conclusion: To a great extent, we try to fit the mold society has created. For example, have you noticed how easy it is to find the bad guy in the movies? Bad guys look like bad guys and good guys look like good guys. Why is that and what kind of affect does it have on us in real life? I found that children or teenagers who have physical features like a "bad guy", begin to identify with and tend to dress and emulate them. This often carries on until adulthood. When others look at him, they think "bad guy". Young girls swoon over him because he is a "bad boy". But this was all created by social types perpetuated in the media. Small petite girls find the path of least resistance by behaving like a princess or being helpless. Types are different depending on the social culture, but many of them are quite similar. Fascinating topic.
xinyuren:
Btw, I'm glad that you can see our unique position. It is a very special opportunity! It's the reason I'm here. Too many of us waste our opportunity to really gain insight on what's going on here and spend too much time throwing pot shots and sarcasm at them. You can't really learn to appreciate a people if you're constantly condescending and demeaning them.
sam239:
Actualy I'm not so sure the "bad boy" image was created by media. Actually I think this comes as a result of evolution, men have virtually unlimited supply of sperm whereas women have a small and limited number of eggs, so men have to compete and dominate in order to get women. Hence men need to be competitive or Type A in order to win females, and females are necessarily attracted to these domineering or "bad boy" types.
xinyuren:
You realize evolution is a very long way from being proven, right? Not to mention the conflicting ideas and concepts of different scientists. So you're devising a theory from another theory.
xinyuren:
and I can see your picture, you look like a bad guy....hmmm... interesting...
xinyuren:
haha. if you believe that, then you belong to the evolution religion, not science. In the scientific world, they can't even come to a conclusion on which "type" of evolution happened and how it happened. No evidence.
...or was that sarcasm in your post?
I was fascinated by this in uni, and spent a lot of time researching it. My conclusion is, (and this may be wrong, but just what I could make sense of) - we are all born the same, as in being like an empty canvas, and from the very first actions done to us and the very first words said to us onwards, we are moulded and sculpted into the people we are to become. Country, culture, position in society, opportunities, experiences, teachings, family, the place you call home and loads of other factors contribute to the people we are. Many things are simply things we are either taught or mimic from others that then become our routines and regimes. These are mostly unconscious. And through being awarded or punished we learn how to properly behave in society. In conjunction with this, once we reach a certain age/level of education/ milestone we use what we have been taught, carefully married with decision making through trial and error to act the way that we do- our personalities. For instance- when we wake up, most of us brush our teeth, have breakfast, wash, groom, get changed (this is a routine that is imparted to us). Then after we do such things, we decide to go to work/school/stay in/ start a revolution/ drink all day - this is free will combined with how we think society will react to us and what appearance we give off to others. Are we the same people we are on our own as the person we are out in public? Or do we merely show carefully hand chosen facets of ourself to display in public as to appear as the best version of ourselves. Then there's the whole discussion of, when we do things only to please others- is this a free choice as we know such things will lead to better things for us or are we acting a role that others have pre-determined we should play. What's extrinsic motivation and intrinsic? And are both governed by us or by what we've been told to do, since birth? Do we sometimes do things thinking we are sticking it to the man or are we actually falling into set traps that have been waiting for us since we had such thoughts? Is our motivation to succeed, meaning we stifle some basic urges, or are we animals roaming around that reap what we sew?
xinyuren:
We plan for the future, we sometimes refuse our urges, and we can change our habits based on knowledge. That separates us from animals. But we have a need to fit in, being social creatures, hence our proclivity for behaving according to typical norms in our society. I was always fascinated about why broken, sexually abused women were always drawn to me. Most of the girls I've dated were abused by their father. Is it me or is it them? Relationships in China continue to amaze me.
happywanderer:
@Buffy:That's a very nicely worded response.
And do you feel that your motivations have changed since being here, because of a change in perspective? Has this second society freed or inhibited your way of thinking to the point that you behave in ways that would not be understood back home?
@Xinyuren: Wow.
xinyuren:
good question. I look forward to my first trip home to see how others react to me. There is a change in me, for sure. I'm not sure if it is significant enough to be noticed by friends. I've been to other countries (for similar reasons), and returned home with different perspectives on life, but only a slight change in my accent to show for it.
happywanderer:
Ah yes. Returning with a South African accent by any chance? That's happened to me before 
. Weird.
Scandinavian:
@xin. A squirrel collects nuts, it doesn't eat the right away, if the hiding place is raided by another animal it will find a new place to hide the nuts. It plans for the future and acts on changes in its environment. Animals too have social structures and norms. Not all are living in social groups but the ones that do will have complex behaviors based on previous events within the group. How are we different from this? We too are just animals, we're just so damn smart that we spend a lot of time thinking about how smart we are.
slice_999_k:
@xinyuren very nice first half of a comment, and I agree, although animals adapt- there's a reason a cat plays with a mouse before eating it. It is suppressing an urge to fulfill a want. It is relishing the dominance over the subordinate.And some humans do the exact opposite to try and not fit in with society, what is the aim of these people? What you said covers the majority however! @happy I definitely act differently here. Like another thread discussed- I feel if I behaved the way I do back home, I would be considered unladylike. And the culture itself is refraining from giving me the opportunities to act out what I do at home- for instance big nights out. Some things I also do now, out off spite because I won't allow a foreign government thinking dictate what I do. Or even a popular way of thinking. So some things I have stopped doing to fit in here and others I started doing to basically stand my ground over something I believe to be more sensical.
slice_999_k:
@scandanavian good example! I sometimes wonder if we are just animals
xinyuren:
squirrels do not plan for the future. they act on instinct. they can't decide to deviate substantially from their predecessors. they can't make a decision collect berries instead of nuts. no planning. instinct. animals can't even recognize their own reflection in the mirror, let alone decide how they will spend their day. Animals have no awaremess of self.
Ethologists have shown that a high proportion of what we think is chosen by our "free will" is in fact the result of biological programming; we imagine that we have "free will" but we're more like robots than genuine free agents. The counterculture legend Robert Anton Wilson, and more mainstream behavioral economists like Daniel Kahneman, have compiled evidence and examples illustrating this. On top of this biological programming there is the cultural programming you mention. Maybe you can think of biological programming like hardware, and cultural programming like software.
Actually this is one reason I enjoy living here, the underlying cultural paradigm is quite distinct, and I notice this more-and-more as I spend more time here.
One way to think if it is like a fish swimming in a powerful ocean current: the current determines the fish's overall behavior, but the fish still has some freedom to swim around inside that current. In the same way culture and biology are powerful constraints and determinants on our behavior, but we can still have some freedom to "swim around".
happywanderer:
Couldn't agree more - almost everything is determined by biological factors and adherence to our own society's mores, sadly. But while we cannot overcome basic physical needs (other than delayed gratification). We do get some choice. As an expat, for example, you could choose whether or not to integrate, or even partially integrate. We can choose to re-evaluate those things that society tells us.
Englteachted:
"...biological programming like hardware, and cultural programming like software. ..."
Where is your citation? You are not the author of that term.
sam239:
That analogy comes from Robert Anton Wilson's "Prometheus Rising". Anyways this isn't a pedantic academic journal and it's pointless to make a little citation whenever you mention someone else's idea...as long as you're not claiming it as your own, trying to make a profit/reputation out of it, etc.
Englteachted:
When you use it without quotation marks and without stating clearly that you did not come up with the term; ie: "somebody once said... " Then you are taking credit for it.
sam239:
If you're certain that I'm not the author of that term, please point me to where it comes from. Actually it's a bit different than what either of those authors explicitly states.
@sam - There's one advantage of the "This is China" mentality. The observer doesn't have to sort through so much cultural "soup" to see what's going on. You're right, China is for the Chinese and there is no one else here to confuse things so there is a very distinct footprint.
good question I'd like to ask that to HULK. Why did he report my post on that book published in China by a foreigner who writes about china just after he got an issue with me? many of his questions are completely unrelated to china, why no one erase his post?
Does he enjoy some special privileges here?
happywanderer:
Actually my question about seaweed just got deleted as well - that I totally don't get...
Adminanswer: "One of your recent posts was deleted as it was either unrelated to China or was irrelevant to the topic at hand. Please remember to keep it related to China and to the question you are answering. Only relevant answers will be conserved. Thank you!"
Happywanderer: "Hi admin, I don't understand - "Who eats the seaweed?" is totally related to China. Most people haven't come across that kind of snack until they land here. It couldn't be more related to China."
nicholasba:
agreed. Some questions which are really completely unrelated or even sound like being quoted from a personal blog still remain...other got harmonized...
'If our brains were simple enough for us to understand them, we'd be so simple that we couldn't '
Ian Stewart, The Collapse of Chaos
A fascinating topic; I think Ian Stewart sums it up a lot better than I can.
IrvineWelsh:
Also watched this a few weeks ago which gave some decent insights into the structure of the brain and the nature/nurture debate.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b036mrrj
