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Q: Why men are so shy?
I want to meet a foreign guy, almost when I am walking, in the street of Shanghai,seldom a expat will approach to me.Some just turns around to look at me.But still no talking?
Why foreign men are so shy?
All they can say is hi
I feel some are attracted by me,but they are too shy to approach me
11 years 32 weeks ago in Relationships - China
I was taught that it was creepy for a guy to just talk to a girl he passes on the street. I am not shy, I am just polite.
Victoria1987:
But I don't think it is creepy to talk to girls in the street,the ones told you that is a narrow one.It is good to be liked by men,it means I am attractive,if he is the type I like,I will give him my number,why not?He might be a nice guy also.
If I dont like,I will say thank you.But I am sorry.
Xpat.John:
haha. The one that taught me that was my mother. And I am old and ugly, no girl would want to date me anyway.
Victoria1987:
I dont see your mom is wise about that.It is very good to be asked number from men.Which makes girls happy.
Victoria1987:
It is nothing about how u look.It is a good thing to be liked by someone.if a man tell me he wants to sleep with me still will make me happy.Why?That means I am sexy.
But sure,I will feel happy,but wont sleep with the man.
Generally,girls do export business jobs see things openly.
Xpat.John:
Here is a tip to making foreign friends: Never say something that isn't positive about their parents unless you know them very, very well, even if it is true.
Victoria1987:
Sorry if I make you unhappy.Cause we see things diffrent
:
i agree with you ( Xpact.jhon ),my mother taught me the same thing when i was young and i still remember it
GhostMan:
Victoria, John is just a little sensitive. You can say someone's parent is wrong about something to expats without most of us being upset about it. My mom taught me a lot of things about talking to women that were wrong :)
In western culture individual respect is very common, not disturbing someone who might be involved also show respect to her man/boyfriend / and so on...Right or wrong but a cultural fact! Better if Chinese women go talk to interesting Westerner!
How short is your skirt? The shorter the skirt, the easier it is to start a conversation.
Well it depends a lot in many things. Maybe the dudes who saw u were in rush or something, it has happened to me also, I really wanna talk to someone but I can't due timerush. According to ur point of view we are shy, but if you compare us with chinese certainly we're not haha right?
Where can I find you regularly? hehe
Victoria1987:
well,I guess I am shy also,that's why I cant get the guy I like.I saw many handsome expats walking down the street,really caught my eyes,just am too shy to go talk.
And many expats talked to me in the street or looked at me are not my types,that sucks,some are too old,some are too ordinary looking,some are short.I don't see a handsome expat looked at me in the street.
i'm shanghai too.. try me ..
Victoria1987:
Oh,you are in Shanghai?come over and marry me.lmao Sorry,a middlenight joke
I think you are not attractive enough to arouse his non-shy side.
Victoria1987:
Maybe or maybe not,you never kown.haha As long as I wont arouse you,it is the luckiest thing I least sure.
What rhymes with shy the word 'hi' also goodbye'! Just strike up a conversation with the word hi and bye! see it wasn't too bad! 
Many foreign men might be concerned that you might already have a boyfriend and so they are unlikely to try to talk to you first on the street. You should try talking first.
Foreign men shy? Where? When? Never saw that before. Overly aggressive I think in most cases.
"Overly......................cases." Ha ha. I don't think so.
Some are some aren't....for example one guy on here tells the world he goes out to different cities to look for prostitutes....yes his name does start with a C and ends in A and yes he does claim to be from my country. Long story short he's so open that if he sees anything that moves and has two legs he's gonna be all over it like a whore with a mortgage.
WonHungLo:
What you go for, one legged ones? Where would Ho get a mortgage? You insane.
Victoria, I'm sorry you live in a world of shy boys instead of bold men. A lot of the people here mentioned that us westerners were taught as children not to talk to strangers. That is true, and very few of us as adults break free from that silly advice. Most of the men here are telling you that YOU should be the one to approach, which unfortunately might be your only option. I know the problem is it's not fun or attractive for you as the girl to act like the bold confident one. You can always just wait for someone like me who isn't scared of you to walk by and say hi, but guys like me are VERY rare.
Victoria1987:
That is why you are called ghostman,hahaha,I am joking.Don't get mad at me.
GhostMan:
I'm called GhostMan because I'm not shy SOO I don't actually exist :P
Ha ha ha ! Shy? Bring it on baby . ! I will take you places you have never been before!
what happen to dropping your bag or purse or book in front of the guy accidentally of course or better yet walk right into him like he is not there cause you were text messaging an important message.
I'm married, so I ignore all women here.
Other married men are generally the same. I think.
Even if they aren't married, if they've got a girlfriend, most of them are the same.
MissA:
My boyfriend got hit on all the time, with various degrees of subtlety on the part of the girls involved. Bless him, he was completely oblivious 95 per cent of the time.
Hulk:
I get hit on constantly. It gets bad when they hit on me in front of my wife. I just ignore them and keep walking, but some of them actually follow me and keep smiling. It's creepy.
MissA:
It's probably a good thing he was so oblivious.
At first I'd point it out to him ("er... my love, she was leaning over to show you as much cleavage as possible and talking excitedly about how much she wanted to visit your country.... you never told her where you were from...") but there was nothing to be gained from that, so eventually I'd just sit back and enjoy the show. I have a warped sense of humour sometimes.
Hulk:
LOL.
I don't know if he was oblivious or just trying to be nice. I used to pretend to be oblivious to these ladies all the time. Now I just flat out refuse to talk to them.
MissA:
We're well past the 'being nice' stage.... that's for the first few months!
In America and China I say hello to any man or woman I make eye contact with. 9/10 recognize a genuinely friendly person, and I really don't care what one unfriendly person in ten thinks about me. I would probably try not to look at so many women my age were I married or in a relationship, however.
Ok .. I hear a lot of what people are saying on here and I see it like this.. I think that its most likely they don't speak Chinese and when they smile you send a no signal. Guys often feel women with a single look are sending a rejection. If you want to be more approachable then you need to speak up. Women all around the world no longer wait for a guy to talk to them, they make the first move and speak to the men. This way the don't miss out on an opportunity when it presents itself. Second in the big city in China guys guys get approached by prostitutes often .. so you might be getting ignored due to confusion as to who you are and what you may be looking for from him? I recommend that next time you make eye contact speak up, say hello and start a conversation.You will be a lot more successful in meeting guys by being assertive. Good luck and best of luck in love and life.
A guy can only take so much disappointment, so being possibly rejected by the cute chinese girl standing next to you during your morning commute to work just does sound like a nice start to my day.
Victoria, you really need to come ad see my group of friends in Nanning. Friday afternoon, after a nice relaxed lunch we hang out at a small cocktail bar in one of the city centre shopping malls where we see many beautiful ladies walking past. We often just say Ni Hao and many smile and say Hi back. We don't hassle anyone but are just friendly. Some of us like me speak very little Chinese yet but we still like to be friendly and it is not to pick up girlfriends as we are all married. Don't believe we are all shy, we are not.
A general rule in life is that if you want to talk to someone... GO TALK TO THEM. That applies to any gender and any culture.
Also a sidewalk isn't exactly a place you go to meet girls haha. If you were in a bar or club it would be more likely for a man to approach you and talk to you...not on a sidewalk though.
Anyways if you're looking to make foreigner friends then go out and make them, don't stand around hoping they can read your mind and will notice you over the billion other Chinese people surrounding them everyday.
Men are so shy because you're absolutely gorgeous! Men lose their ability speak when you enter the room.
Solution? Talk to them. But don't make any loud noises or they will explode.
come on girl, pluck up your courage, if they're shy? why cant you do the first move? you've got nothing to loose...
