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Q: Would it be accepted to be a lesbian english teacher in Beijing
I would like to know how accepted this is in china. In the uk I have many rights to marry etc and not to be discriminated against. If I moved to china would it be best not to reveal my sexuality if I plan to stay for a year or two? I am sure now it would affect my chances to get a job and if I would be dictionaries against. My gf has been a student in the uk for four years and has to move back to china and is going to now study in china. So I want to move. She thinks we will be fine no discrimination but im not sure this is true as she doesn't even want to tell her parents she's gay.
10 years 36 weeks ago in Relationships - Beijing
I had a classmate who is a lesbian and fell in love with her tutor once...
As a male Chinese,my point is lesbian is accepted by most young generation no matter they are male or female.But you'd better not to reveal that in public,I mean you can do everything you wanna do with her,but better not to do that in front of your workmates or boss which may take you into trouble.All in all,it's fine but there are still some people who would have prejudices.Don't talk about that in your work and live in the way you want to.
Speaking of parents' altitude,I'm sorry but the common facts I knew are not very optimistic.Good luck
Katy87:
Thanks that sounds quite positive. In the uk we talk about personal relationships at work and our lives maybe its different in china.
ironman510:
I'm just worried what Katy would do to her female chinese assistant. Oh no, does this mean we have to worry about lesbian girls hurting young students ?Great more crack downs on the way.
Katy87:
That's ridiculous as a lesbian why would I be any more likely to take ads tags of a student than a male teacher??? You make me laugh.
ironman510:
@Katy87, I can answer your question perfectly. because we've had uneducated people like you come in China and do uneducated things, like for an example, working illegally with a 7 year old in China, trying to support and educate him? Yes you're only risking the students, yourself and most importantly the 7 year old child. You'll be taking alot of sick days, how can you teach the kids effectively by taking off sick days to watch your unattended 7 year old son? This will happen. It's ok for me because I'm legal here and have insurance and maid for my kids.
So yes you risk others but you are too uneducated see the truth. I'm not saying that to be mean, I'm only judging by your choices your trying to make here.
beijing would be fine, but some smaller cities for traveling while you are here could be a problem if you show off the lifestyle to the public,
frequent many foreign clubs in beijing and i have seen gay couples there that tell me they come there because they want be hassled about their preferences.
my comment is anecdotal , dont live in beijing but travel there often.
if your girlfriend is chinese from a strict traditional family, well, my sympathies for your future loss and broken heart, happens to a lot of people.
Katy87:
I don't think her parents are to strict I have no idea really they live in Shandong Qingdao. Both are doctors. Hopefully she won't break my heart we have only been together a few months but she says she loves me and was a virgin.
ambivalentmace:
enjoying yourself with a female is a safe thing to do as a virgin until you marry the man the family has arranged for you, saves a loss of face, but thats just the skeptic in me, one of many dark characteristics in myself, work 60 kilometers from qingdao, nice place but crowded beaches, better to travel south a little to huangdao if you visit.
good luck to you, had 2 intellectual bi girls as roommates for 4 years of college, never slept, dont know how i passed my classes, best years of my life. still friends after 30 years, one is an architect in florida no partner, no kids, the other is a music violin public school teacher, no partner, no kids, life is cruel sometimes.
I believe in keeping your personal life at home and focus on the work.
as Ambivalence writes. You problem in moving to China is not the job but your relationship, specifically with your gfs family. Being gay translates into not having grandchildren, most certainly a dealbreaker.
If the topic comes up in job situations, don't lie, but also don't tell. E.g. if you are asked if you have a boyfriend, then you could say "maybe not a boyfriend, but a very good friend" etc. What you and your partner does at home will not matter for your working skills (unless it becomes too rough)
You are supposed to keep your sexual orientation out of the school you are teaching at.
I've met a few gay women with Chinese partners over the years. Keep it discrete, and no problems. Well, no more than the rest of us.
It is more important that you have the right qualifications and visas.
Yes nothing wrong with that. All you need to worry about is if you can pronounce the words properly and show up to work.
How is anyone going to know, unless you tell them, or do something in public? And, given that so many Chinese girls hold hands in public anyway, I don't think anyone will really notice.
When I first arrived in China I thought it was rife with lesbians- almost everywhere I went women were holding hands and hugging.
However when I mentioned this to one colleague of mine she looked disgusted and said, 'Almost no lesbians in China'.
She claimed all the girls were just being friendly.
I'm sure you and your partner would get put in the same 'friendly' boat by most people.
ironman510:
I heard most lesbians were in all girls schools from high school to university when it comes to China
Just a theory, but Jason Collins was the first openly gay athlete to announce that he was in fact gay, he's an NBA player and he's a free agent without a job still, doesn't that tell you something?
China still isn't ready for peaches to peaches and bananas going for a dive ok. Philippines is the only country where I saw it was a normal part of the society.
Maybe best to just say we are good friends in china. I don't mind been in the friendly boat 
ironman510:
Meaning, keep your sexual taste to yourself while you're at work, what you do on free time is up to you.
Why do you have to make such a point about being a 'lesbian English teacher' anyway?
Who cares?
Are you the kind of extravert psycho that has to make a point about your sexuality?
Just do your job! 
Just keep any public show of affection out of it and you'll be fine. Once you get to know you workmates then maybe you can tell them if they show openness but otherwise keep it indoors. I haven't been to Beijing but I heard there are some gay bars there so at least you can go out somewhere to feel comfortable.
Good luck!
So let me get this straight you are a single mom, and you are a lesbian and you don't have a degree, gay marriage is not acceptable in China and you want to come here and find a job? Oh my god this will never work.
ironman510:
Who is Negative? I'm just stating the realistic answer for you. Do you want me to lie and tell you oh yeah schools are great and affordable for your son, Chinese love Lesbians and openly accept gay marriage, sure you can work illegally, just enjoy yourself dear.
Sorry I won't lie to you. But you can lie to yourself and make your self feel wonderful with lies. Where's the kids real father, because you don't know what you're doing sister.
FYI, I wasn't being positive or negative, I only told you the truth, the truth hurts sometimes.
Kaiwen:
By the way Katy, "your very negative" may raise a few eyebrows. It's not very impressive for an English teacher.
Whatever you do, don't tell ANYONE at your school. The Chinese teachers are just looking for a way to get you fired because they HATE you for making way more than they'll ever be able to make. They'll smile, and be friendly when required, but they will also sit apart from the foreign teachers and trash talk you all behind your backs.
They'd love to hear that you're gay, so they can gossip to the parents and administration and get your ass fired.
ironman510:
Good point Croquantes, I completely forgot about the gossip rumor mill's at work, they would ask her every week: do you have a boyfriend? Why? The teacher in the next classroom is handsome, you can ask him, try. Blah blah blah. Wooo ouch.
Thanks for the replies even if they are mostly negative. Don't know what my gf was thinking saying in would be ok for us to be an open lesbian couple in china it's obviously not. Maybe theists four years of living as a student in the uk she has forgotten what they are like in china. I think it's terrible people are discriminated against for been gay.
It does seem a bit impossible me and my gf been together but we love each other a lot.
ironman510:
It's definitely not open in China yet, Chinese parents have this monkey see monkey do belief, for example we had this one student that had a very slight case of mental retardation, all the parents thought their children would catch this mental retardation like a flu bug, thats how stupid they think, very closed minded, so the parents might have this same monkey do think with you being a lesbian. This is not an open free country like the UK and U.S so We can't really say Chinese are discriminating, we must go by their culture even if we disagree.
ironman510:
One more thing Katy87, this shouldn't be about your love or GF, this about your son, maybe god is telling you this is wrong! Work for your son. China doesn't give him the future he needs, I wanna cry for him, I'm a really happy father that will do whatever is best for my children, you break my heart as a parent Katy87. If you do this I can honesty say you are a bad mom! I never like to say things like this. Ask your mom if I'm right.
I live in dalian. I see countless women holding hands with eachother. This is considered normal. In the USA they would be considered gay. Im not talking twelve year old. 20+ grown women arm in arm.
Also seen women making out with other women in club here
I was going to ask how this turned out, but after reading the comments... Was this question edited? What was the original content?
Your plan sounds doomed to fail and I would assume that your girlfriend knows this. Many Chinese people don't wish to be confrontational so perhaps by agreeing with your plan, that won't work, she is trying to tell you that your relationship has run its course.
In the case that you refuse to accept this, have you considered what school will be like for an English kid in a Chinese school? He will need to go to an international school which is quite expensive. How will an illegally working teacher afford this? Health care? Mum in detention for working illegally? Questions will be asked and visas checked especially for a single foreign mum with a kid in tow.
You really haven't thought this through very well.
Have fun meeting her parents. They'll be thrilled to find out that their one and only daughter has decided to become a lesbian with a foreign woman - a foreign woman with a child no less. Chinese in-laws find it hard to accept well paid, hard-working, young and attractive male suitors as good enough for their daughters. However on God's good Earth did you ever think that this might possibly work?
iWolf:
Wow dude, your comment is the only one with no down votes. Do you have superpowers?
This thread is littered with fallen replies.........
However, all is not lost!
icnif77:
Is 'lesbian English' any different than straight English?I want to learn, if yes!
If you wanted to teach english you would need to keep your sexual preference to yourself. Something you should really be doing anyway but if parents found out many would withdraw their kids from your classes.
I have gay friends, I don t think china is oppressive towards homos, you just can't tell your workers about you sexuality, but still tell your friends, go to gay bars. Way more open minded than a lot of countries like Saudi or Russia.
OP must be "happily married" by now..this post is more than a year old
