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Q: Fun things to do when you hear 'laowai' in public?
I've thought about busting out a max decibel "MY NAME AIN'T FUCKIN' LAOWAI" warcry, but they'd have to understand enough English.
Can't even make a McDonald's order without doofus and his little hooker talking about it...
I was waiting at the bus stop a few days ago, lots of people there, a guy was trying to impress a girl that was way out his league. He directs her attention to me and looks me up and down slowly and mutters "fat laowai" and giggles like a little girl. (Editors note: I am 185cm and 90kg).
I invade his personal space channeling Winston Churchill and say "yes, I'm a fat foreigner and you are an illmannered peasant. I can lose weight but you will always remain a peasant".
The hottie burst out laughing and began chatting with me. The bus arrived and she got on the same bus as me. We sat together chatting away until her stop arrived with the faceless bumkin staring daggers whilst standing gormlesly. He yelled something unintelligible as he got off the bus. Hottie slapped him. Several people laughed.
In case you are wondering, my wife and Hottie come from the same town so we talked about that mostly.
AladinSane:
And god damn, nothing bums me out more than seeing some of these chicks with doofy peasants they're way too cute for because mom and dad set (read: forced) them up together.
Sinobear:
Or you can fun by saying, "When I was a mortal...," or, "You humans..."
Reply: 'ni shi laowai', and don't move your eyesight away
, till they don't start with embarrassing laugh.
don't get it much in places like Luohu, SZ, but definitely get the 'deer in headlight' stares. I just look at them and say 'weiguoren'. unless it's a hotty hotness, then I'll pull my best Cary Grant,,, which sad to say ain't even up to Hugh Grant level... but, hey, I give it the ol' College Try !
I was waiting at the bus stop a few days ago, lots of people there, a guy was trying to impress a girl that was way out his league. He directs her attention to me and looks me up and down slowly and mutters "fat laowai" and giggles like a little girl. (Editors note: I am 185cm and 90kg).
I invade his personal space channeling Winston Churchill and say "yes, I'm a fat foreigner and you are an illmannered peasant. I can lose weight but you will always remain a peasant".
The hottie burst out laughing and began chatting with me. The bus arrived and she got on the same bus as me. We sat together chatting away until her stop arrived with the faceless bumkin staring daggers whilst standing gormlesly. He yelled something unintelligible as he got off the bus. Hottie slapped him. Several people laughed.
In case you are wondering, my wife and Hottie come from the same town so we talked about that mostly.
AladinSane:
And god damn, nothing bums me out more than seeing some of these chicks with doofy peasants they're way too cute for because mom and dad set (read: forced) them up together.
Sinobear:
Or you can fun by saying, "When I was a mortal...," or, "You humans..."
Things I have actually done...
1) Shouted "Zhongguoren!!" and pointed at them excitedly.
2) Shouted "Peasant" back at them
3) Approached excitedly saying "Ni Hao, Ni Hao, Haopangyou", shook their hand animatedly and attempted to give them a bear hug. "Wo Ai Zhongguoren!"....They are so shocked that they will never do it again!
AladinSane:
I like this approach as well, bonus points for likely not inciting too much of a confrontation.
1. You can look around in confusing and start saying "Na li na li? Wo mei kan guo!" Where? Where? I have never seen one! While running full speed towards them swinging your arms wildly.
2. You can say "Bu dui, wo shi yi di qiu ren... ni shi bu shi?" Wrong, I am human, aren't you? or "Dui, dui dui, wo zhen shi yi ge wai guo ren. Ni zhen hen cong ming!" Right, right right! I really am a foreigner, you are very clever!" while clapping your hands and looking bored (they have sarcasm in China).
3. Take out your phone and start taking pictures of them. Instant dose of their own medicine. If they what you are doing... tell them "wo mei kan guo yi ge zhong guo ren". OR you could start singing to them... NI SHI WO DE XIAO ZHONG GUO REN...
DrMonkey:
For #1, you can just say this while hugging the guy. Pick the most shy looking guy of the group.
The overall tactic is to make them regret, it works on shy people. God help you if you meet a drunk but proud Dongbei hulk ^^
#1 "wo de ma yaaaa !!! yi ge laowai ? na li ?"
#2 "ni kan y kan, ren duo zonguo ren !"
#3 "ni shi zhu ma ???!!"(to be said with the intonation of the original quote, it comes from a TV show, it became a catchphrase)
The problem is that even with a okay pronunciation, many people might not register because they are not even assuming you might speak in Mandarin (which is a 2nd language for a lot of people anyway).
All of the responses above are to various terms and attitudes aimed at foreigners but they don't answer the initial question of someone calling one "laowai." Laowai is not an impolite term, as some suppose. Lao (old) is a respectful form of address and wai simply means outsider.
The best way that I have found is to act as equally astonished as the person who says it and respond with a Laozhong (Old Chinese). I usually get a laugh and a friend out of the situation.
Now regarding some of the other terms that I have heard over the years, it is a different matter, but don't let "laowai" bother you. I'd be shocked to if I had never seen someone as pretty as a foreigner.
All of the responses above are to various terms and attitudes aimed at foreigners but they don't answer the initial question of someone calling one "laowai." Laowai is not an impolite term, as some suppose. Lao (old) is a respectful form of address and wai simply means outsider.
The best way that I have found is to act as equally astonished as the person who says it and respond with a Laozhong (Old Chinese). I usually get a laugh and a friend out of the situation.
Now regarding some of the other terms that I have heard over the years, it is a different matter, but don't let "laowai" bother you. I'd be shocked to if I had never seen someone as pretty as a foreigner.
Mateusz:
Do you honestly believe it's "respectful" in any way?
And even if wai "simply means outsider"... when is "outsider" ever a good thing to be called?
I was sitting next to a Chinese tour group the other day in an airport in my home country. Asked the guy next to me where they are from and he got so excited, telling the whole group the laowai can speak Chinese. I told him he is the laowai, he is in now in my country, not China. Lost a bit of face when everyone laughed at him, but we eventually had quite a good chat. No need to be nasty.
Mateusz:
Did you discus the racialized aspect of the word, how it's applied to people based on their race, rather than actual nationality (hence why they used it in the first place for you)?
yongge:
Hmmm..., you've got a point there. I also met some Chinese in Cambodia who referred to me and other non-Chinese as laowai. I think the point you are making is that in the eyes of Chinese people anyone who is not Chinese is laowai, even in their own countries. Based on that, the true meaning of laowai isn't "foreigner", it is "non-Chinese", meaning white/Caucasian. I heard them using different words for black people (hei ren) or Indian people (indu ren), therefore they are a different kind of "laowai".
Mateusz:
In my experience, it doesn't really have anything to do with actually being Chinese or not, though, they do conflate race and nationality (which is also a large problem). White people are "laowai", regardless of their nationality. Though Chinese might correct themselves in cases where the "laowai" in question turns out to be a Chinese minority, it's not always the case (I've still heard Han Chinese refer to non-Han as though they were not really Chinese). In any case, Han Chinese never call yellow people "laowai" upon seeing them, and only use the term to refer to people who have a "Western appearance".
It's like the term "Nip" or "Jap". Ostensibly it refers to Japanese people, but I doubt anyone would insult Debito Arudou by calling him a Nip, even though he is, Japanese, though white.
I never take offense to being called a 'laowai' or 'guiloa' or whatever.. You have to consider the cultural development of the people that say such things. I think I would feel more disparaged to be insulted by a Stanford Ph.d. Chinese than by a primary school educated Chinese.
"HARROW!" - in a loud, high-pitched, wobbly, goofy voice. i'd do it all the time if i didn't have to consider my school's reputation.
All responses depend on how willing you are to escalate the situation to another level.......tell them that they are Da Lu Ren 大陆人 (mainlander) with a mainland education and attitude.Remind them that only Mainlanders point and stare at foreigners (usually, but not always). Of course, you may not want to actually engage with someone with this level of culture and education! If you can do this in Mandarin you may get punched in the face or make some new friends.
