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Posts: 363

Shifu

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Q: have you heard this one?

ok, this was told to me by a 13 year old Korean stuendent 

3 men walk in to a pigsty, one Japanese one Korean and one Chinese. 5 minutes go by and the Japanese guy cant take the smell and the filth and runs out. 10 minutes later the Korean guy cant take it anymore and runs out. 15 minutes later and then pig runs out.

13 years 1 week ago in  General  - China

 
Answers (14)
Comments (22)
Posts: 1932

Emperor

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loller

A Korean told me: The best is to have Chinese food, an American house, and a Japanese wife.

The worst is to have American food, a Japanese house, and a Chinese wife.

GuilinRaf:

If I told my girlfriend that joke, I would be a "Dead Duck" Okay Rich! Waddawesay?

13 years 1 week ago
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Sangoku:

I would say the best to have is Italian food, a Swiss house, a Japanese wife, and a Chinese mistress

13 years 6 days ago
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thedude:

Damn you are making me think about my Japanese ex back home, and questioning my choice of a Chinese girl!! Good one.

13 years 6 days ago
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13 years 1 week ago
 
Posts: 6321

Emperor

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How many of you would DARE to tell your Chiese friends these jokes? I challenge you!smiley Please be honest!

Sangoku:

Let's see my wife reaction to this joke..... If I don't put anymore post, well....it means I am either dead or kicked out of the aparment :)

13 years 6 days ago
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kchur:

I told my Chinese wife the joke I told up there. She laughed.

13 years 6 days ago
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GuilinRaf:

I couldn't resist! I told my girlfriend both jokes. The first one she laughed, the second one she just gave me the same stare as the wife of the guy who dropped his daughter to catch a baseball. It was nice knowing you all.....

13 years 6 days ago
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13 years 1 week ago
 
Posts: 49

Governor

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noooo...my chinese wife will kill me...or before that will divorce me... :S haha!

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13 years 1 week ago
 
Posts: 461

Shifu

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Well these kind of jokes look very much like the one we have in Europe about Belgian people.....in every funny story, there is one Belgian....
But yes, Chinese will definitely get angry about it.....

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13 years 6 days ago
 
Posts: 332

Shifu

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Now in Korean have a lots of  dirty jokes about china and china cultural or chinese people. they real under estimate china everything. told foreigners (especially the westerners) how great their ancients, how big their country was, even the Confucius also was a korean········
i don't want argue with this topic,just want to say, as a so marvelous  country ,did they won a  war in the past three hundred years? 

rich45:

well to be fair, how many wars have China won in the same time? and fighting with each other dosnt count

13 years 6 days ago
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nevermind:

South Korea's army is kick ass. They are developed and geared to fight Kim Jong Ill. I'd put them against China any day of the week.

13 years 6 days ago
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GuilinRaf:

North Korea vs the PRC? That should be fun to watch! My guess? They would be kinda like a fight between Ross and Chandler....

13 years 6 days ago
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GuilinRaf:

to nevermind: Whoops! Sorry, you said SOUTH Korea. My bad! Anyway, I was wondering why would North Korea shoot the hand that feeds them. Literally!

13 years 6 days ago
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LAR:

ice,

     Oh yes, BELIEVE ME I know how arrogant and ethnocentric South Koreans can be! I lived there for years. :0

12 years 10 weeks ago
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13 years 6 days ago
 
Posts: 1932

Emperor

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Let me tell you a magical little story:

About a year ago, I was part-timing for a franchise school called 北京雅思 in Yangzhou. This was really just part-timing, two or three nights a week. This branch was new and they didn't have a full-time foreign teacher, and the only other part-timer was black, so they tended to hide him in a corner, and not invite him to big marketing events.

The founder of the franchise, an arrogant, racist piece of sh*t by the name of 刘洪波, who wrote all the Chinglish-heavy English textbooks personally, came in from Beijing for a speach. They rented out a big auditorium by the museum, and advertised it like crazy.

He started his speach by saying, in Chinese, "Oh, we have our Canadian foreign teacher here, after the speach you should talk to him and he can tell you how good your English is." They he proceded, for the next hour, to tell racist jokes. Racist jokes that would make Rich45 up there blush. Racist jokes that would make the KKK look like Martin Luther King jr. Racist jokes that would make Hitler say, "Not cool, man." I was sitting right up front. I wanted to leave but I was so paralyzed with embarrassment that I couldn't move.

Then, once the speach was over, I tried to descretely bolt for the door, when he grabbed my arm and awkardly, as an afterthough, said, "Sank-a you coming. You undertsand-a my Chineeese??" With a worried and cowardly look on his face. I muttered something and walked off. Worst experience of my life. So I'm going to tell light-weight Chinese jokes and chuckle to myself, because there's no way I could top something like that.

RoobyRod:

quit teasing...give us gory details

13 years 6 days ago
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rich45:

wait, did you just compare me with hitler and the kkk?

13 years 6 days ago
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GuilinRaf:

I dunno Rich, you strike me more like David Carusso.....

13 years 5 days ago
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kchur:

I didn't mean to, Rich, but I retrospect I may have accidentally.

13 years 5 days ago
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13 years 6 days ago
 
Posts: 6321

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At a wedding party recently someone yelled, "All the married men please stand next to the one person who has made your life worth living."

 

 

The bartender was crushed to death.

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13 years 1 day ago
 
Posts: 3292

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Why do Chinese cops have long lunch breaks? 30 minutes for lunch and 2 hours to retrain them.

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13 years 1 day ago
 
Posts: 241

Shifu

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Localla, how long do we need to wait? We like all kinds of jokes, its fun and make people laugh.

Life is too short.

Localla:

for your little fun . What's the flattest surface you know to iron your clothes? A white chick's a*s. 2. What do you call 50,000 white guys jumping out of a plane? Snow. 3. What's white and 14 inches? Nothin'. 4. Why does the black man like soup? So he can watch those little white crackers drown.

13 years 1 day ago
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Localla:

What do you call a blonde lesbian? What do you call a blonde lesbian? A waste.

13 years 1 day ago
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kchur:

you tell em those damn crackity-ass crackers! >:(

13 years 1 day ago
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crimochina:

localla you, a chinese woman is talking about flat asses????

13 years 21 hours ago
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bennyfulltrack:

Crimo, do you know why the Chinese girls have flat asses?

13 years 5 hours ago
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crimochina:

why??? i want to hear this

12 years 52 weeks ago
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bennyfulltrack:

@ Crimo: Well if you take them from behind, the difference is one inch. (lol..)

12 years 52 weeks ago
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13 years 1 day ago
 
Posts: 18

Governor

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In Europe and USA, why do blind people spend so much time waking their dogs?

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12 years 52 weeks ago
 
Posts: 1076

Emperor

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How many surrealists does it take to change a lightbulb?  Fish.

How many flies does it take to screw in a lightbulb?  Two, but how the hell do they get in there?

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12 years 52 weeks ago
 
Posts: 277

Shifu

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Two nuns sitting on a bench. A bloke comes along and flashes to them. One had a stroke, the other couldn't reach.

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12 years 18 weeks ago
 
Posts: 497

Shifu

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Polish, Russian and German were imprisoned and told, that the one who wins the contest - runs free.

All was given 2 solid metal balls, and closed in empty solid concrete bunkers.
Who will do the most amazing thing with those balls - wins.

 

 

After 2 weeks there is a check...

- German put one ball on another... and it didn't fall! - Quite good...

 

- Russian stroke one with the other and balls sounds a beautiful melody - Amazing!!!

 

 

.... And Polish win by lost one ball and broke the other Wink

____________________________________________

 

 

Another same situation, but they have been given a dog, and big amount of sausages.
Who will teach a dog best - wins.

 

- Russian comes from the bunker thin and starving, dog - beautiful.

Russian gave the commands: sit, jump etc... dog obeys. ... Wow, nice job!

 

- German comes from the bunker thin and starving, dog - beautiful. 

German gave the command: dance! and dog dances like a pro... Amazing!!!

 

- Polish comes from the bunker round and full, dog - almost dead... thin like a shadow... 
Polish gave a command: do please!
"plleeeease..." says dog with a faint voice Smile

 

 

 

Btw. I'm Polish Wink

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12 years 18 weeks ago
 
Posts: 19864

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American walks around Mexican town in the afternoon. It is siesta time.

He didn't have watch, so he was looking for somebody who could tell him the time.

He stumble upon Mexican laying on the ground, covered with big sombrero. Resting! Beside Mexican, there was a donkey, chewing on the grass.

American kicked Mexican's boot, and asked: 'Hey, do you know what time is it?'

Mexican lift it up his sombrero, not really happy! He puts his hand on the donkey balls, like he would try to figured out their weight.

Mexican reply: 'Quarter after 2!', and he fell asleep again.

 

American was puzzled, how Mexican could tell what time it was just by weighting the donkey's balls, so he kicked him again.

 

Mexican: 'Whaaat?'

American: ' Are you telling me in Mexico you weight the donkey balls, to know what time it is?'

 

Mexican: NOO! I lifted up donkey balls to see on the Church tower........

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12 years 18 weeks ago
 
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A: Good question!  I'd say, if you study at Uni in China beside
A:Good question!  I'd say, if you study at Uni in China beside working full-time as an E.T. with Residence permit, you don't interfere with your full-time employment.It's your free time and you can do anything you want, with respect to the Chinese laws and customs. Have a look at terms of Z visa/Residence permit and ... ".. you cannot work (and earn monies!) with another employer ..."That's all it is! Your RP sponsor title is written on the RP stamp in your passport, I think. It's in Mandarin, so I've heard about that from someone ...At I.D.-ing by cops, they know where you work and than more details about you are just a phone call away ... and it happened in person ... LOL ... during the day-time stroll through Wulumuqi, Xinjiang, 2012/13 semester. Now under RP, you're free to surf Internet, jog, ... and study, too. I suggest, you look and ask at the Uni, you plan to study in the future. Have a detailed look at requirements for studying and attending chosen Uni.Good luck! -- icnif77