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anonymous
Q: He is going with her in his hometown. What should I do?
I met this guy in 2011, we have been together for more than two years. Then I went home last summer to see my ill mother.I asked him to go with me but his passport was not ready yet. After three months, i returned to China to continue our plans and dreams, but he already got a new girlfriend. Of course, I asked him many questions. He told me that he truly loves me, he can spend more time with me, he is willing to go with me anywhere and spend his lifetime with me. But he cannot marry me because I am a man and he is the only boy (hope) in his family. Now, the three of us are living under one roof, but i have my own room. Everyday, it is painful to see them together, I want to talk to the girl but I want to respect my man's decision. The worst thing now is that they will leave me for this coming holiday. They will go to his hometown to introduce the girl. I had been in his hometown for two consecutive spring festivals. What should I do to ease the pain? Please don't be harsh to me, I am really devastated and this is my first time to go through this. Hoping for your friendly advice.
10 years 17 weeks ago in Relationships - China
ouch. i guess i can't really give you good advice because i've never been in that situation, so anything i relate on to you would really not be applicable. but i can say that i am sorry and wish you all the best. maybe i don't understand the whole situation, but how can i? i think you would be better off leaving and moving on. your situation now, no matter what your preference is, is not healthy. you are living in a miserable situation that will never end up the way you want. i think you should move on, and start your life anew. it will be hard, but in the long run it is better for you, and probably them. once again, real sorry to hear your situation. best of luck to you.
being gay is not accepted in china and the cant tell that his family. In the end he will marry the girl and live an unsatisfied life.
I just wonder why the girl is doing this, is she lesbian?
Although I tend to agree with Paul and say leave this situation, then it may not be you, but the girl that is in for a bad future. In any case it is a toxic situation, and you should consider if he is the guy for you as he is not able to be true to himself, and he is willing to put you through this.
Paulberger:
good point. does the girl know what she is in for? does she know?
If he leaves you, it's his loss. Wait and see what happens. Give him a chance.
