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Governor

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Q: How to answer those annoying question?

My boss's wife, Chinese. She kept asking me those questions like when I will get married and saying I could marry a foreigner. Blah blah

 

I don't really wanna to reveal that I don't date Chinese cause I worry the Chinese boss might feel I am unstable,

 

Thats my personal life too, I don't want to talk about my privacy in the working place. 

 

It made me feel uncomfortable with someone invading my private space. I really wanna tell her to shut up. But she's the boss's wife. What should I say to deal with her?

31 weeks 2 days ago in  General  - China

 
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Shifu

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Establish you dominance over Mrs Boss. Challenge her to a blowjob competition on the first drunk eurotrash DJ or model you see.

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31 weeks 2 days ago
 
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But...  You ARE unstable.

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31 weeks 2 days ago
 
Posts: 2330

Shifu

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Establish you dominance over Mrs Boss. Challenge her to a blowjob competition on the first drunk eurotrash DJ or model you see.

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31 weeks 2 days ago
 
Posts: 551

General

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As a Chinese person, if you can not understand how other Chinese people think, the questions they ask and why they as them, it is less likely you will  understand how non-Chinese people think and be able to form a good relationship.

 

I find that most Chinese people i know are unable to understand appropriate boundaries when it comes to personal questions. There is a child-like tendency to blurt out the first thing that comes into their heads when they want to satisfy their curiosity, regardless of how tactful or polite it is - it is a basic lack of empathy.

 

An English colleague of mine in his 30's was asked why he was not married by a total stranger. I was aware that he had lost his wife in a RTA, but only after he confided in me after many months working together, and when a bond of trust had been established. I certainly would not have needled a colleague on their marital status, but then i am not chinese.

 

this post demonstrates a typical Chinese persons ability to show a degree of empathy with others:

http://answers.echinacities.com/question/whats-wrong-those-people

 

but seriously, if you are Chinese, how can you not know or understand how Chinese people behave and how to deal with it?

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31 weeks 2 days ago
 
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Emperor

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If u want a serious answer,,  I would say that most people with jobs have to go thru something like this. Being nice to someone higher up the Totem Pole, being nice to a customer even when you aren't in the mood, being nice to a customer even though they are being mean,ugly,rude to you.  It's something we all go through, including myself.  So, what to do about it?  I try to remember/pretend that I am just playing a 'Role', like a Hollywood actor, so even if I'm not that outgoing by nature, I will put on an Act in certain work situations.  Work ends, and I cast off the costume.

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31 weeks 2 days ago
 
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General

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Viki, 

look at the way you have treated your subordinates in this company.

Your boss's wife is treating you with the same lack of respect.

 

i am not really surprised i have to spell this out because it shows how Chinese people lack of empathy for others. 

 

Has anyone ever know a Chinese person NOT to ask such intrusive or personal questions to gratify their prurient curiosity and claimed that it is only because they care

This can not have been the first time a boss or his wife has asked these questions to you, so why are you pretending to be so surprised?

 

this is Chinese 'culture'

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31 weeks 2 days ago
 
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Shifu

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I had a girlfriend explain that part of Chinese culture to me once. She worked in an office with probably dozens of people and the usual nasty gossiping,bitchiness, back stabbing, petty jealousy etc.

 

The way she explained it, questions or comments like that usually have meaning beyond the actual words and it's usually vindictive. It's rubbing other people's noses in the fact that they have something you don't and so they are therefore 'better'.

 

So, if someone asks why aren't you married? The actual meaning is ...Oooooh, so you're not married yet.....  I am (smirk) . I'm better than you. I'm probably jealous of something you have but putting others down makes me feel better, so....

 

As a Chinese woman I'm sure you understand the part of the culture that makes people feel the need to conform to society's expectations, and the joy people get at gloating at and bullying anyone who doesn't conform in some way.

 

 

 

 

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31 weeks 2 days ago
 
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Emperor

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You could teach your people how to post and ask Qs here ....surprise, so we would get some diversity on our 'tits-Board'.

 

Look lady, I will call Internet police on you, if you don't stop shitting this Board! Ming bai? 

 

I have foking stomach ulcer just 'cause I log on daily here ... and-o in China there's no other place to go ....

 

I am going to get your IP address and I will suffocate you: 'plastic-bag-over-your-head-tied'!

 

Go pick some mushrooms in the forest! Please!

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30 weeks 6 days ago
 
Posts: 2260

Governor

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PRC is filled to the brim with low lives and abusers asking you loaded questions. 

 

The title question is valid and significant. First, recognize they are pretending to be concerned about your happiness. What is China famous for? Deceitful fakes!!! They are attempting to destroy it, ie the exact opposite.  The attacker,  in this case, thinks she can abuse you because she is your boss's wife, in other cases, the older low lives use their age,  ie seniority, to grill you. Still yet in other cases, within the same age group, or younger low lives, it is jealousy which is a big part of dalu low lives' life, spanning the entire life, mind you,  or simply the warmonger who can't miss an opportunity when they see someone superior.

 

If you really want to bury them 6 ft under, you need to discover their source of power, and nuke it there.

 

Most of the time, with old psychos, a simple counter loaded question, 'you want another cultural revolution?', or 'why do you miss the cultural revolution so much?'  would do. 99% it works because deep inside it is the truth; these psychos are the psychos of the cultural revolution. It is safe to bet most mainlanders above 50, and their children are psychotic. Grill them, watch their face, enjoy.

 

Once you get the gist the rest is easy.  What did your psychiatrist say about your progress?  Why don't you keep educating yourself?  Why didn't your parents teach you basic manners? 

 

There is no standard answer as you can see.  Prevention is best. You spot rabies inflicted dogs and put them down before they open their mouth, that's all I can say. The difficult part is chinese rabies inflicted dogs often befriend you first with their fake faces before they bite. The moron ones have it written all over their face, depressed, angry, greyish aura...etc... fill the streets while the smarter ones conceal their aggression with a unnatural grin.  

 

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30 weeks 6 days ago
 
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Answer of the DayMORE >>
A: I think the first "not smart" thing you did was to think of everyone a
A:I think the first "not smart" thing you did was to think of everyone as a subordinate. They are in fact your team members. You are also a team member and your role is to supervise, not flex your muscles. It drives you nuts when your boss does this and then you do exactly the same thing. Think about it. Adapt, change, bend the rules and be more efficient. -- iWolf