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Sign up with Google Sign up with FacebookQ: New neighbors, what's the protocol?
In our building there are 4 apartments per floor. Until now only 3 have been occupied, and now the last couple of days, what looks like a set of ayi's, have been cleaning the 4th apartment (that has been left with open windows for all the time we've lived here and possibly more (at least 2 years)
Anyway. Is there any tradition for saying hi to a new neighbor, do you bake them a cake etc?
I am very optimistic that this new 3rd neighbor will be better then the first two. Grumpy old grandma/bitch that has mastered making her grandson cry 24/7 or the 8 people in the other apartment, two sets of grandparents, the parents and a set of twins. It must be better this time.
I recently just got new neighbors for me I don't do anything just try to keep peace and quiet and be respectable...
TedDBayer:
I heard that your neighbors tend to move out a lot. I do not no why.
If they are foreign (fat chance), you could take them a nice gift, like good quality toilet paper. Thats a good gift for China. Can you really bake a cake?
If they are Chinese, then treat them like Chinese, ignore them. If you see them in the hall, you could yell ''Hello'', they seem to like that.
Scandinavian:
@Ted: I can bake cakes that makes any Chinese "bakers" realize what failures they are. (it's of course hell expensive to shop for in China)
I can also yell "HEEEELLOOOOOOO", "HAAAAALLOOOOOOOOOOO" etc. Been working on the tones so I think I can cover the full list of awful ways people tend greet people.
TedDBayer:
I like to bake, but never found things to bake with. I wonder if I could sell my carrot/poppy seed cake recipe?
Just ignore them, as they will ignore you. I have lived in the same apartment for 4 years now, and I always greet others when we meet in hallways and lifts with good morning, good afternoon or good evening, and no one replies to me. I even try "nihao", and still got no answers. My mother taught me manners, and to be polite. But that does not work here in China.
Politeness between neighbours doesn't work in China. I usually greet mine and they just act surprised, suspicious, or just like Traveler, I get no answer. They have no Christian-influenced values in their society or culture, so "love your neighbour as yourself" very rarely applies in most situations. Treating other people with consideration without expecting anything in return almost doesn't exist for them.
I have tried being friendly and hospitable. It worked better in Guilin but here in Beijing I have not had any success.
June I got a new neighbor and I invited him (in Chinese) over for a couple of beers. He just looked at me, without a word walked away. Even my fiancee was puzzled by his behavior.
Two weeks ago, she got a new neighbor herself. Tried to welcome her and she too got the same response.
In Guilin, I did not have this problem. The neighbors were actually curious as to what a "lao wai's" apartment looked like. One of them even became a friend.
My advice? Try it, be prepared for rejection but then again, if you dont try, you will never know. And maybe, you will be lucky and make a friend!
Good luck!
happywanderer:
Agreed. Definitely should at least try. You might knock on the door and find it's actually a group of lonely women that were living together because none of them can find a man that truly satisfies. Then you just need to call them cute and lovely .
I think actually I will change my use of the word "Community" and no longer use it to describe the group of buildings with a fence around that I live in. "Habitat" seems more appropriate based on the above answers.
Well slap me sideways and call me a little bitch.
Since this question was posted the neighboring apartment has seemed empty, apart from a China Telecom dude napping against the front door the other day.
Due to unforeseen events on my desk (BSOD) I went out for a bite of air. Going back in, I hold the lift doors open for a woman walking towards the lift. She enters, sees what floor I am going to and says "Same floor, then I am your new neighbor" So, new neighbor is a English speaking local. It's the standard setup, she is a grandparent and is going to live their with her daughter, son-in law and a kid.
This is the first lift conversation I've had that hasn't been either "Where are you from", "How tall are you" or "How old is your dog"
When I first moved in the current apartment am living in, one of my neighbors , an ayi greeted me. And since I know some basic conversational chinese we introduced ourselves and later that day I gave her a box of chocolate...
Ever since we've been good neighbors, I even asked her one day about a nearby community health center for my baby and believe it or not she agreed to walk me there since she was bad with directions... She is living with her daughter, son in law and grand child 6 days a week. She often invites me and my baby over to play with her grand son.
look not hundred percent of Chinese are ill mannered... I have another neighbor who never even smile at me...
When they are moving in just stand there and watch as they do, if they see you and say something just grunt back.
Nessquick:
Yeah, I remember one man, our ex-neighbor. He was staying by the doors for 3-4 hours without any help, of course, checking all the things we moved in, gave us advice, which side is better to have a bedroom and so on. even walk inside to see sometimes later when we lived in already.