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Q: So which male expat are you?
#1 - The awkward nerd type that lands in China with minimal sexual experience and falls knee deep into whores who fill your head with compliments and an ego boost until you finally ask one to marry you?
#2 - Or the Adonis who's handsome and tall that gets overwhelmed upon arrival and ends up marrying the hottest richest girl out of the gate...then realized how badly he fucked up and runs home.
#3 - Or the slightly above average looking foreigner who gets forced to move to China and after a while finds himself overwhelmed with average to cute girl next door types that throw themselves at him and winds up picking the worst of a magnificent lot if for nothing else than the challenge and excitement due to the inflated ego the rock star attention gets him?
Which one are you and how did affect your personality? I know what #3 did to mine!
And please...for the sake of humanity...pick the smart shy girl over the hot social girl...I wish I did!
9 years 18 weeks ago in Relationships - China
I'm a 34 year old Virgo who enjoys long romantic walks down moonlit beaches by myself. My hobbies are strangling small animals, masturbation and golf. Looking for someone similar. PM me.
laowaigentleman:
You're a sick man. Golf's an elitist, prissy, pretentious sport. 
Can't wait for Sorrel's answer.
thedude:
That is a deeply profound answer dude. Not sure how to respond....
Really, only three choices...even the Greeks would give us the four humours...
thedude:
Ok...please share a fourth option....just starting the debate.
rasklnik:
Hey it's your poll...none of the above? A mixture of all three...a lesbian albino?
none of the above
Iam just me
oh also I am a Rolling Stones and AC/DC fan:)
Just some guy trying to get away from unending bullshit back home. Needed a change of scenery, enjoyed learning Chinese, and making Chinese friends, so I decided to go to China.
thedude:
Dude...your stories of insane girls and parents put mine to shame.
Hulk:
I don't know, lol... aside from 2 of my particular events, I think yours took the cake.
My drama is only limited to 2 events:
1. Dated a CIA agent who was fucking crazy. Long story, can't share it here.
2. Got in a fight once with the in-laws. The problem was the brother trying to sell his sister so he could buy a house and car... nearly fucking killed him, and the in-laws joined in.
None of the above... and single (and never married, and never had a pschyo ex- here!)
A mix of #1 and #2, I look good and know it because girls here and back home constantly remind me that I am "handsome" or "sexy", but I am not a hot headed type of guy who thinks himself above the crowd, more of an introvert than an extrovert, in fact my main hobby is playing computer games at home locked away from the madness of this place, I am fit going to the gym no less than 5 times per week for an hour, I did have extensive sexual experience before coming to China and had a number of partners here as well. I am done partying and have never been into the bar scene. I have enough awareness about women to not fall into the marriage trap.
royceH:
You're awareness of women is limited. Marriage hasn't been a trap for millions of happy people.
Just a guy who came here for the usual reasons.. see a new place and culture, travel, wanted to try my hand at teaching...
Don't intend marrying here but I suppose anything is possible.
#4 Looks completely average, without much problems to have a date either (I said date, not committed relationship). Came in China on my own will (ie. got a post-doc fund, then a job proposal), my ego was fine the way it was. I was in my late 20's with a serious case of wanderlust.
* Having close to zero interests in fashion and entertain illusions, I automatically weed-out the extroverted social rich kid and gold digger. I don't smell money, I smell wanderlust. When I came in China, my usual clothes were old jean, battered Converse, and a plain hoodie. Most clothes were years old, all my possessions used to fit in a 25kg luggage. No watch, bracelet, fancy phone, etc. Best filter ever. Travel lightly, live freely.
* Being average looking, I had to work a bit harder to attract attention : I know it's not my bald spot or my hobbit-like frame that attracts them. I tend to look more like Gollum than Beckham. If I do nothing, I get nothing, the invisible man. So comments on my look tends to raise some alarm, rather than flatter me : I don't believe in Santa Claus. Usually, I met girls interested by me during some social event. We would talk, and eventually, she might feel good and send signs that she interested to know me more and spend time with me. Every year, this would happen a few times, up to me to keep or pass. Married the reserved smart girl.
Nessquick:
almost complete same, just I am not sure if myh wife is "reserved smart" type :)
but jeans and hoodie I wear still even its 7years old and with holes, still wear that while shopping , because I love it :)
#5. The (slightly) above average looking foreigner. Came to China looking for something different, and adventure, and found it to an extent. Not extremely wealthy, or extremely good looking, so mostly invisible to women and cannot get a date. This works fine for me, because I am slightly socially awkward after too much time spent in the desert (Iraq)
Spiderboenz:
Ok, more than slightly awkward... The war messed me up to the point that I am incapable of maintaining a normal, healthy relationship.
royceH:
Sorry matey. I hope you can soon get back on top of things. Did you find any of the post deployment support networks available to you of any value?
#X
I don't know. I just of just showed up here after some bad relationships with little money in my pockets. I was young, good looking and in good shape (I guess I still am to some extent). So I was thrown a TON of attention but it didn't phase me because I received the same attention back home. I didn't marry the social girl or the shy one. I married one that had skills and abilities I didn't possess so that we could use our own skill-sets to build a better life. While this does cause a bit of a personality/cultural clash at times, we care about each other and learn to accept each other's faults.
She would be fine without me and me, without her. But together we are stronger than we would be separately.
I have to agree with the dude. Don't go for the first girl that throws herself at you... there is probably something severely wrong with her or she sets impossibly high standards (that she doesn't follow herself) and thinks a foreigner will live up to her every desire.
You have a better chance of bringing a shy girl out of her shell than trying to tame some of those crazy wilder beasts that will get you into a lot of trouble and heartache. I love women but damn they can really screw up your life (I am sure we do the same for them). I prefer to focus my attention on goals, career stuff and learning... than flirting around or being tempted by the crazy offers that float my way.
Strawberry66:
Interesting speaking. Anyway people are diffrent.I.don't think I would go for a man has skill I don't have.I am looking for a man to love but not looking for a job.Haha Maybe the first girl throw herself to a foreign man is someone brave,I wish I can be someone likes that.Those girls are usually the winners.I have met many girls like this.One actually married to the man who used to like me.
I'm a 34 year old Virgo who enjoys long romantic walks down moonlit beaches by myself. My hobbies are strangling small animals, masturbation and golf. Looking for someone similar. PM me.
laowaigentleman:
You're a sick man. Golf's an elitist, prissy, pretentious sport.
Even the smart shy ones can be kinda hot. I think I got me a good one, though it could just as easily have been a tragedy. I came out of a divorce and committed to the girl who seemed to love me most sincerely and deeply. A bit of a possessive love at the start with strange expectations, but we sanded off the sharp corners. Now we fit together nicely.
As for my apperance, I'd estimate that my looks have improved since I was an emaciated, pimple-covered stick insect in middle school. I went from plump at 9 to fainting from standing up too quickly, voted 2nd ugliest kid in class, right before the obese Jehova's witness with bad breath. My 2nd son looks like a michelin doll, I call him little piggy. Hopefully he'll just be "blessed" with a crazy growth spurt upwards like I had at 10. Late bloomers are what I like to call us.
Neither. I'm gay. I lie to the girls and show them pictures of my hot blonde best friend and I together and tell them I have an American girlfriend. So they back off because they know they can't compare. If only Chinese boys were worth my time....
nzteacher80:
Haven't Chinese girls haven't discovered the science of gaydar yet? Unless you are one of those straight-acting gay guys who can throw a softball and gut a fish - those ones are hard to pick.
laowaigentleman:
Pretty hard to gut a fish with a limp wrist.
I can only assume you're using some kind of revolting innuendo...
It can't be as foul as a "pink sock", a "somali dump truck" or a "donkey punch though.''
WanderingTeacher:
NZTeacher..no they haven't discovered gaydar yet..i mean it's pretty hard to use gay stereotypes as a baseline in China..honestly 95% of the men I see here, would be thought of as a potential gay by their mannerisms and behavior, back in America. I don't really like the term "straight-acting" but I understand what you mean. I'm just mean. I guess if you compare me to other gay guys, I would fall into that category as I don't like, or do, the typical things a gay guy would like or do. And I can gut fish just fine. Gutted my first fish with my grandfather when I was 5 years old. 
Robk:
Damn.... I feel really bad for Chinese guys.
Foreign straight women and foreign gay men don't even want them...
Actually, I don't. They deserve it.
thedude:
Robk...I agree, I also feel sorry for them.
But I have Chinese male friends in Vancouver who moved to Canada at an early age that do just fine with women (or better). I think it must be a Chinese cultural thing.
wagon:
Gaydar? Really? I agree with WT, many of the guys here would be presumed to be gay at home.
"Halloooooo"
"Heeheeheehee"
I've got to grab my man purse and go!
WanderingTeacher:
bob8899 - You can if you are middle eastern/brown skinned, tall, muscular, with thick black hair, and brown eyes. She unfortunately has a very specific type of guy she likes, and she doesn't stray from it, ever lol.
thedude - Yeah it's unfortunate. I've been with chinese-american guys and they are perfectly fine..but the guys here..I can't even waste my time with. I gave them a chance, hooked up with 4 of them...and half way through sex, i'm thinking.."this would be 10x more enjoyable if I was doing this alone.."
wagon - Yeah seriously though these man purses are too much. In America we have the man bags too..but they look more like fashionable, manly, backpacks, or messengers bags...these Chinese man purses look just like female purses..everytime I see a guy with his "fashionable" fake high-end man purse I think to myself: "He thinks he's looks so "handsome" and "cool" with that purse, when in fact, he looks like a shen jing bing..."
I don't see how any westerner could go out with a properly conservative traditional Chinese girl. I thought I was going on a date with one girl but eating in a restaurant with a boy was a bit too crazy for her. So we ended up having road food. my friends were "how was your date did u get laid? then laughing afterwards. I felt sorry for Chinese men after that. They ve got it hard.
therefore hot, westernised and loud is the only way to go. At least relatively so. Even then you'll be waiting a long time
DrMonkey:
Meh, the "I am traditional" thing is more often than not a barrier, a protection, to weed out the guys looking for a short swing. If there's no challenge, there's no passion.
Eorthisio:
Traditional doesn't mean much in today's China, a hundred years ago this was the country who willingly gave away virgin teenage girls to foreign invaders/traders/representatives, premarital sex wasn't forbidden and was widely practiced, only under Mao sexuality became taboo, a great leap backward, on the same line sexuality was openly discussed and shown under the Roman empire, then became taboo during the Middle Ages in Europe. If you want to laugh tell her that you are also a traditional guy, that shopping sessions at your expense are forbidden until marriage in your culture. Post her reaction here.
Robk:
Depends on you. I am semi-traditional in the fact that I won't just sleep with a girl that I don't care about or have some sort of intention to continue the relationship.
Chinese girls just want security like every other woman. They aren't quite used to being off on their own like Western girls, that's pretty much it.
Strawberry66:
To Eorthisio:Have you found that being good looking. might get girls judge you to be not realiable to be with? I have got told that I am not realiable to be with because of sexy looking by Chinese guys. Humanity insecure.
I'm an agnostic guy from New York. I hope to meet a Muslim guy from Malaysia.
dongbeiren:
Lol it was a joke about the guy who started the thread saying he's a Muslim guy from Malaysia and saying nothing else. And what's wrong with gay sex anyway? I'm straight but why the homophobia Vicky? Open your mind up, girl. A lot of we crazy foreigners who spend all our cash on fancy restaurants and wear cheap shoes don't think there's anything wrong with gay sex.
Oh my goodness it is a boy chatting forum.
say no more.I kinda lean more towards #3. I'm confident in my looks and I speak the language. Like any foreigner from foreignland you notice the hotties more and they usually notice you as well. But it only took my about 2 months to see what they were all about. In all honestly, i pursue girls who are like me, a little above average, like to travel, and is capable of "not" going to a club every weekend. I tend to be a little happier with these types of girls. I'm not marrying anything soon. Also in China and even home, I'm a fan of free dates. Until I'm super serious with her, I like to take walks and do things with minimal financial burden.
DumpsterDiver:
Oh I forgot to add, I noticed from friends that Chinese girls who are hotter and think because of looks they are worth more, even if they have a boyfriend , tend to like other guys, compliment other guys etc, like even if you're her boyfriend, David Beckham is still the hottest guy in her eyes, but more average girls, at least the ones I've been with, see you and not those others. But this is my opinion and observations only. In China nothing is how it seems
DrMonkey:
Once, I remember a girl who was barely 18, having a fancy for me. She spend the day showering me of compliments and trying to flirt ... while my wife was just right next to me all along. That was awkward.
#4 - came to China totally fascinated by China ancient culture, history and bright future. Found out the land absolutely different and slowly started to understand it (still long way to go though). Nevertheless absolutely fascinating. The people, their behavior, their culture, motivation, dreams - I love the country even with all their problems to solve as I am sure they will solve them ...
