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Q: What Redneck Opinions do you Hold?
Libruls wanna take our riffles.
1. Rednecks and rodeo will always be associated. That doesn't mean you have to have ridden a bull or even have gone to the show. But you damn well have better seen the movie "8 seconds" and know why it was titled by a time interval. Bonus points to girls who like rodeo.
2. All rednecks (at least redneck men), either chew ("chaw") or smoke. If they tell you they don't do either of them, they are lyin'. Indirect indications of this lie include raspy voice, admiration for the Marlboro man, chew can rings imprinted into jeans back pockets, chew stuck in the teeth, or a protrusion just under the lips on the bottom left or right side. If none of these clues seem apparent, dig deeper. Common evidence in a homestead includes small books of tabaccy coupons, tobacco-related swag and empty packs of smokes and chew tins.
3. Four-wheel drive isn't an option: It's a necessity. You don't really need extra power around Lincoln unless the pesky weather man makes it snow on us again, but that doesn't matter. You have absolutely no idea of when you might buy that fishin' boat endorsed by Bill Dance, nor do you know when you will have to stuff the back with a 1,000 pound payload. If these reasons are somehow not good enough, just use your brain! How do you know when it's going to rain again? Because when it does, there is muddin' to be had. And if you have one of those small rear-wheel-drive-only pickups? Shoot, at least it's a truck.
4. Camo is a color, not a random mishmash of brown, green and black tones. ‘Nuff said already, but if you really want to know, this color goes great with anything redneck. The seat covers on my car, hats, hell, almost anything. It turns out it even works pretty well to hide in an environment when you are huntin'.
5. George Strait is the king. If you don't agree, or somehow don't even know who he is, there is something wrong with yew, boy.
6. Rednecks reserve their second amendment rights to bear arms. The redneck community is a little overzealous about guns, admittedly, but maybe it wouldn't be so bad for other non-rednecks to follow a similar suit.
7. Rednecks actually love animals. They're delicious. Next time PETA says hunters don't have a heart (all rednecks hunt), I will point them over to a good friend of mine. He would never think to leave the heart behind as scrap.
8. Beer. Rednecks of both sexes love beer. Why? Let's just look at one of Alan Jackson's current hit singles: "Well, I can't say. It's just that way." Sometimes the subject of beer turns into heated fights about which type topples the rest. Coors? Budweiser? Keystone? Busch? Ultimately, there are no winners to be had as long as it's beer. But drunken times? There is something we can all agree on.
9. You don't have to be a small-town farmer to fit the redneck stereotype. You don't have to farm at all, but you better be ready to defend your claim to prefer John Deere over Case IH, son. And if you cannot give a better reason than, "I like the color green a bit more," you better get that John Deere trucker cap you bought from the Buckle outta here!
10. The guys who live in the trailer homes down yonder are a different group. We don't talk to them much. Their mullets and pit stains are offensive.
Source: Josh Loomis
And you often eat grits with Bacon Redneck!
giadrosich:
Good job on the copy-and-paste, but you forgot to give Josh Loomis credit. In the U.S., we call that plagiarism, but of course, if you are in China,, all is fair in intellectual property acquisition. It is funny, tho'.
HugAPanda:
Michael Thomas, since you claim to have been educated in American schools... you should be extremely familiar with the concept of citing your work.. you know... giving credit where credit is due, not plagiarizing, or accepting credit for work which is not yours. When using an article from a webpage you (as accepted APA style) should include the Author. (Year, Month Day if available). Article title. Website Name. Date information retrieved, from the exact URL But since this is an informal forum, copy and paste of the URL will be accepted.
giadrosich:
But see. Ya gotta teach 'em early. That way, when they go to college abroad, they will know what to do!!
I believe in the Second Ammendment, even though I am Hispanic/Latino. Can Hispanic/Latinos be honorary rednecks?
HugAPanda:
I deem you, Sir GuilinRaf, an honorary redneck! In proper redneck fashion, please commence attaching your gun rack to your Ford or Chevrolet made Pick-Up truck and waving your confederate flag appropriately. You may now also put on your John Deere T-shirt and matching baseball cap (make sure your t[shirt and cap are always branded the same, so you keep an acute fashion sense)
GuilinRaf:
Thank you! I will cherish this forever!!! Happy Year of the Dragon!
HugAPanda:
dammit... premature enterlation! I meant to add the bandana.. skynyrd or stars and stripes are both acceptable.
i believe in expanding the death penalty to include 7 footers who dont play center. dirk, tim i'm talkin bout you
Considering back home I'm always trying to tell them to stop calling chinese "chinks" I honestly think I'm in the clear.
