I told a young woman that I was a womanizer(which I am not) to get rid of her…only to have her say, “that’s ok, as long as you no playboy, you want eat?” Obviously there was something lost in translation…later I realized she thought womanizer meant I loved women in a good way.
 
Once I asked to go to a Karaoke bar with another young lady, only to have her tell me “Sorry, I don’t speak Engrish” (But she was the official designated tour guide/translator) Ha.

I can't remember, cause everything I hear after I say, ''I meant to call you, really!'' is bla bla bla

I tapped one lady on the shoulder in a bar and she turned and puked on me.  Does that count?

(She was very, very drunk.  I surprised her.  The next time I went to the same bar the bartender told me the girl came in crying the next day and left a brand new shirt for me. Never saw her again.)

Lady: What do you do? Me: am a math teacher..Lady :l dont do math!

"How would you like your eggs in the morning?"
"Unfertilised"