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Sign up with Google Sign up with FacebookQ: Are you more aggressive in China?
I feel like I have a lot more of a "tough guy" attitude in China than in my home country. When people give me an angry stare, I glare back and might even ask them what's wrong. If someone tries to steal my taxi, I'll walk in front of them and take it right back. Basically, I fear no one here. Back home, however, I would always just walk away as quickly as possible if someone were menacing me in public, mainly because that person would likely be mentally disturbed, know how to fight properly and/or have a firearm. Here, it's just very hard for any local to intimidate me. I don't go around picking fights or anything but I have the utmost confidence I could destroy at least 90% of the guys here either physically or verbally (despite my limited language abilities) and make a fool of them.
So do you ever feel you have more of an aggro attitude in China? Why or why not?
No, because pissing you off is what they want, they expect a reaction from you, this makes them feel important, "the foreigner stopped what he was doing for me".
I am more apathetic, living my life and going on with my business while ignoring everything else.
Some loser staring at me, I won't even give him a look, no time, too busy making money. If they invade my privacy "halloooo" I reply in Chinese with "hello farmboy".
When I sit somewhere (e.g. Starbucks' terrace) and some nong tries to mess with me I laugh while calling him a pig or a farmer, they absolutely hate that but whatcha gonna do anyway, I will break them in half if physical violence occurs, I am not afraid of anyone in China, especially after seeing how they fight in real life as opposed to kungfu movies.
Otherwise I couldn't give less of a damn about other people, and I expect them to be the same.
iWolf:
Let me stop you right there.
This sounds like a fantasy you have made up in your head.
Firstly, how would they even know what you are saying to them?
Secondly, I thought you didn't pay any attention because you are too busy making money?
Thirdly, he won't fight you at that moment, he'll call and get twenty of his friends to wail on you later. If he did decide to put you on the spot, you could be certain that he knows his shit and doesn't care less that you are 'Mericun. Then the police come and off you go back to mom's sofa in the basement.
Angry, arrogant FOBs with their ubiquitous chips are more uncultured than those mocking you. Maybe they have a good reason for mocking such an obvious twonk.
RandomGuy:
Sounds like you are making assumptions here, I am not American and none of these losers ever called up his friends on me. Now as I said I insult them in Chinese, they look angry but what are they going to do anyway?
When's the last time you went back home? Does it help any? I feel the same thing happening to myself but I try to control it. Despite my best efforts I feel myself slipping a bit. It's ******g annoying as $***.
Stupid fecking question...feck off !!
ScotsAlan:
I blame my culture for my sense of humour.... Ha ha... at least I have a fecking culture... oh wait... is that good or bad? At the end of the day, humour can be in good or bad taste. To push bad taste is not good. That is hiding bigotry behind culture. But we should all be allowed a non pc moment to fight against being pc. Not that being pc is bad..... just... sometimes... we need a break from it.... see what I mean?
when i was in China, i never got into any fights. sometimes i didnt speak up about things, but occasionally i would. most of all i had an annoyed frown on my face when lilliputter schoolyard bullies stared me down on the streets. it was pribavly a don't-mess-with-me look that warded off most problems. i always felt capable of escalating things and coming out the winner, but it never happened. considering how corrupt China is and what happens when you butt heads with the wrong person, i was probably lucky.
dongbeiren:
It's good to avoid escalation wherever possible - I've never been in a serious confrontation here. There's no way to come out a winner if things get physical - either you end up at a hospital or a police station. There's also very little reason to get into major verbal arguments here because you're not going to change anyone and only going to cause yourself aggravation. That being said, the snide remark directed at the annoying local can feel therapeutic, for better or worse.
My blood pressure is very low, and my heart beat rate must be a bit faster than elephant's, some 3-4 hits a minute.
At younger age, I volunteered once for blood donation (because teacher promised off school's day for all who came forward).
However, at the Hospital nurse refused to take my blood, because 'nothing would come out' reason.
I think, my anger always turns to laugh for some complicated biological reason.
Maybe, that's the reason I have laughing bores on my face.
I'd say probably less aggressive. Just to not go crazy here I kinda just tune the average locals out. Getting angry at them is like getting angry at the background in a video game.
I think that I WOULD get really angry if I put myself in positions of dependence on them because they are so unreliable. But I intentionally don't. I know they are pretty worthless and unpleasant on average, so if i'm dealing with one that's my fault not theirs. Just get mad at myself for not planning ahead better. Gotta own the responsibility for no stress/no problems. And for the most part that means no locals.
I guess back home I feel more competitive because people there offer more genuine competition. Fuck do I care what some bum who never had a chance thinks?
Hotwater:
The same works with driving mate. If you stick to the inside lane in a traffic jam they can't push you out of the way as there is nowhere for you to go! So my key driving rule....is stay on the inside lane...especially as most Chinese drivers stupidly head immediately for the outside lane!
Aggressive? Depends how you define it. I was never a physically aggressive person but would stand my ground verbally. Here's where I think I've changed:
Driving: oh yes, I'm an aggressive driver in China. You need to be or you'd get nowhere! I've no qualms about cutting up wankers in Audis & BMW's (unless it's Mike!)
Queueing: being British I used to be ever so polite in queues. Now? Hell no! (to borrow an American expression). If I'm trying to get off the metro & someone tries to get on first I'll push them sideways. If I'm in a queue & someone tries getting in front of me they either get my body/elbows in the way and told loudly to wait.
In general I'm patient....need to be when my Chinese isn't yet good enough to deal with everything myself....though on bad days, when dealing with Chinese "logic" this patience quickly becomes verbal frustration!
coineineagh:
i can probably board a bus in a crowd more easily than a local, coz i get scientific about rushing: instead of trying to force my way through the middle, i'd quickly move to the wall of the bus. it's easier to slip past one person on one side, than two people blocking your path from both sides. it's even easier to get in through the door entering from the side than from the front. Chinese are rude because they are inefficient and don't use their heads. I enter the bus in front of most of them with a polite smile, while they are still elbowing the people next to them.
No, because pissing you off is what they want, they expect a reaction from you, this makes them feel important, "the foreigner stopped what he was doing for me".
I am more apathetic, living my life and going on with my business while ignoring everything else.
Some loser staring at me, I won't even give him a look, no time, too busy making money. If they invade my privacy "halloooo" I reply in Chinese with "hello farmboy".
When I sit somewhere (e.g. Starbucks' terrace) and some nong tries to mess with me I laugh while calling him a pig or a farmer, they absolutely hate that but whatcha gonna do anyway, I will break them in half if physical violence occurs, I am not afraid of anyone in China, especially after seeing how they fight in real life as opposed to kungfu movies.
Otherwise I couldn't give less of a damn about other people, and I expect them to be the same.
iWolf:
Let me stop you right there.
This sounds like a fantasy you have made up in your head.
Firstly, how would they even know what you are saying to them?
Secondly, I thought you didn't pay any attention because you are too busy making money?
Thirdly, he won't fight you at that moment, he'll call and get twenty of his friends to wail on you later. If he did decide to put you on the spot, you could be certain that he knows his shit and doesn't care less that you are 'Mericun. Then the police come and off you go back to mom's sofa in the basement.
Angry, arrogant FOBs with their ubiquitous chips are more uncultured than those mocking you. Maybe they have a good reason for mocking such an obvious twonk.
RandomGuy:
Sounds like you are making assumptions here, I am not American and none of these losers ever called up his friends on me. Now as I said I insult them in Chinese, they look angry but what are they going to do anyway?
Yes - though on the inside. This is called 'anger' - though it's often directed outwards through words (which sometimes I'd really like for them to react physically to).
It's from the constant lack of respect shown to other people. And then the justification of it with "this is China - our culture is different".
I then try to make them lose face, by pointing out this lack of respect (for people and laws/rules). If they get it, 99% of the time it's "sorry, sorry"... meaning, they know it's wrong, but what the hell, I'm going to do it anyway...
However, often they don't understand... and then just grin stupidly.
Like yesterday. I'm buying my veggies at the local. This guy who I've never seen before does the "Where are you from?" BS... so I reply "That's your first words to me? No 'hello'? No 'how are you today'? Just 'Where are you from?" That's RUDE!!!:
Stupid smile... (with lots of brown crap in the teeth... nong with a little bit of money :( )
"What are you doing?"
"I'm fkn shopping, what's it look like I'm doing???"
Sure, it's only about 1% (or less) of the people I'm likely to meet/see in my day - but the other 99% don't get in my face. Or, occasionally, will at least smile and be pleasant first.
dongbeiren:
When they ask where you're from just reply with a "ni ne?" and when they say China just smirk and say "Ahh Da Lu Ren" (mainlander)
RandomGuy:
I have a beard so I tell them I'm Xinjiangren, it's usually enough to scare them away
icnif77:
Why wouldn't you reply: 'I come from my mother. You?'
If the guy is fluent ('merican ), I add 'everybody comes from her/his/its mum. You didn't know that?'
I can quote 'Darwin' anytime of the day.
Wait, so you are aggro all the time and know you can destroy all Chinese people and have zero fear of backlash....and yet you question me for doing the exact same thing?? What am I missing???
coineineagh:
Come on Mike. This question is SO you. I can summarize at least 4 encounters you had with escalations and mixed success. But it's best if you recant them.
dongbeiren:
Fair point but I never actually start major confrontations
I'm more assertive and less aggressive. Being aggressive in China will lead to ulcers and maybe a brain tumour.
It depends on my mood but I am usually pretty calm and relaxed about things.
If someone gets on my nerves and bothers me... I will question them and point out their behavior... this usually solves the issue.
I only start to get pissed when someone is being extremely disrespectful, hurting or bullying others or outright trying to cheat me and think I am too stupid to notice. Never beat anyone up but got a little physical on a few instances.
I put a lot of focus on just using the necessary force to get a point across, intimidate (if necessary) to resolve a situation. I have seen how most Chinese fight (even police officers in a police station) and it is shameful. No need to beat up a Chinese guy to make myself feel proud... cause trust me... it's no achievement.
The most aggresive people I meet in China are Texans.
The ones I have meet so far all have thousands of acres back home. They have hundreds of guns, they talk strange, use the N word a lot.. call everyone boy..... and wear dungarees.
But they all seem to fall in love with well past their best Chinese hookers.
Nothing wrong with that of course
But here is the deal... with me. Does China make me feel angry?... nope... What makes me feel angry are the the racist idiots who seem to think its ok to come here to be racist biggots... use the N word.. call everyone boy... then go home and tell their fellow NRA members how they shagged a chinkie hooker for free... sideways...
Thats what angers me.
It angers me that China accepts these racist people because they want their money and a green card.
It annoys me that these people are undoing the work us long term residents are doing to forward our cause to live here, and to earn a wage for our family.
Texans should stay in Texas
rasklnik:
The most aggressive people I have met in China are Chinese.
They threaten their neighbors with invasion, they give me and my wife dirty looks. They spit and scream at 6am. They call everybody foreigner.
I don't know why my country lets these people move to the USA.
ScotsAlan:
Sooo... you have never told a Tex redneck how good Obama is? Try that.... and see what agression is :-)