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Q: Chinese Mail Order Brides
How many Chinese women do you know that just met a guy on the web, he comes to China marries her, then goes home and waits for her visa? One of my ex-GF's friends did that, she knew guy for a month, married a guy from USA and she can't speak a word of English. She was chubby too. I haven't called my ex-GF in 6 months, she just told me she met a guy from USA online, he came over for a month, married her and went home to wait for her visa. She speaks little Englsh. I worry that she's made a mistake. Glad for her if it works. These women really seem to want to go. I wonder what they will think when they find the streets aren't paved with gold. I don't know how men can do that either, but I seem to be commitment shy, certainly pessimistic with women. My ex-GF often used to say that she didn't know if she'd marry me but I don't remember asking her.
9 years 22 weeks ago in Relationships - China
I don't mind if a girl wants to go abroad and I don't mind if she says she will make the effort and backs it up. Problem is, I have seen many a girl get to USA and then choose to have an Asian lover and break the marriage, costing the green card sponsor lots of money and leaving him with his prick in his hands and broken heart. For this kind of girl, and there are many, I wish there were a law in other countries that says that unless the husband has been unfaithful, abusive, or not supportive of her, if she intends to take a lover she must reimburse the total fees of green card in full, plus any other expenses, such as plane tickets, food, shelter, insurances, normal life expenses, cars, houses, whatever the man sacrificed for the good of bringing her over, or she must be deported and stripped of her rights to remain in said country.
Yeah, I've seen that kind of people.
Oddly enough, they always seem to fit one pattern: the problem women. That very special type who always step into trouble one way or another, never learns anything from life and can never stop complaining about all the stupid shit that happens in consequence.
Maybe because only this type would go head on to make a visa marriage on the internet without even understanding the first thing about life abroad.
Oh yeah and they're often chubby too.
Actually, problem women exist everywhere as far as I can tel, but the China factor brings it to a whole new level of... everything.
My wife knows a girl (never met in real, it was on a forum I think) who did that:
1) Get to know a French guy on Internet, they fall in love, they decided to get married
2) He comes in China, they marry, he go back to France.
3) She applies for residency in France (it's almost automatic if you are married to a French)
4) She's in France
She is not chubby, particularly ugly or anything, she looks and sounds like an ordinary city middle-class young girl. They guy is also young, middle class. The love since to be there, a bit of puppy love if you ask me, but it's there. Just arrived in France, *puf*, pregnant.
I feel a bit uneasy about this, as I think people got to know to each other and experience life together before getting married... and pregnant. Europe is almost a different planet, I think a good integration requires preparation, if you care about integration. But then it's not my life, nobody have to think things through like I tend to do. Some people are just deliberate and impulsive, so be it.
With my own personality, if I was working in a factory for 3000 RMB/months, with the perspectives that come with that in China (life in a concrete jungle & smog, with a few days of actual holidays, shit education, shit healthcare, not much say about how things roll), I would try a lot of things to get out. I got out of my country because I didn't like the idea of settled, predictable life. I can understand those women, even if it makes me uncomfortable about the whole "trade" thing.
The thing about Chinese girls is that they have an uncanny ability to sum a person up in a very short amount of time. And... they generally have an agenda.
Probably a different story for these guys. They are the ones I would be worried about.
I have always cared for this woman very much, I really do worry for her, but being Chinese there were too many things that drove me crazy, rarely answer questions and answers might be lies. The moods, none of them laughing. The being too concerned about what people on the street thought.
China isn't the only country that traffics women, most Asian countries, Philppines is big, Russia and Ukraine are too. I can understand desperately poor women wanting out, but there is a real history of them leaving as soon as they get off the plane. There are websites telling women that if they claim abuse they can get out of the 2 year commitment requirement and the man is on the hook for support.
I just can't imagine men being that desperate, I think most are old guys looking for young sex slaves.
I met my GF on the internet on a Chinese dating site, some 4 years ago. After chatting online for 6 months, I went to China to meet her. We traveled together for a while, then I returned home. Over the past years we have been meeting every few months, either traveling somewhere, or visiting each other. She wants to leave China some day, but have a career. I left the corporate world and will soon start a new career in China, during which we will see even more of each other.
My point is, some of these things do work.
Hotwater:
Sounds like you've both gone ahead with growing your relationship in a mature, sensible way. All the best for your future.
ScotsAlan:
Yup. Best of luck to you both. It seems quite common for a guy to come to China to meet a woman then fall in love with the place as well as her.
I think some of these guy have the whole "American women are all feminists" thing going on. Course many girls in China are hardly 'traditional'. I see rough times ahead for both.
A friend of the wife signed up to a site to get an American husband.
I was amazed at the numer of ex navy seals looking for a Chinese wife.
Its a good way to meet a partner. But only if both parties are honest about their intentions from the start.
DrMonkey:
The Internet seems to be where the retired Navy Seals, Marines, Green Berets and Delta Force go.
my wife (met her on a dating site, 5 years ago) just took her friend to sign up to the same place..... and of course I have been asked to help find a "white guy" (racist?) husband for her. no hope in hell that I will do that, after all the BS I went through, on my own, to get to where I am today. I have a wonderful wife now. I have my own issues, but certainly got a good wife ONLINE. A visa to Canada was our biggest issue... never did get one for her, but now I live in China with her and it ranks up there with the best thing I ever did. Been here for 3+ years now.........maybe 2 or 3 more and I will ask Canada AGAIN, if my wife and I can visit my family in Canada. I have nothing good to say about Canadian immigration. China is our home now and I am happy for it!!!!
I am not a Navy Seal, or an import/export guru. I am a happily retired, silly old/young(never grew up) man, thoroughly enjoying a great new adventure in CHINA, the origin of Mona Lisa, pizza, pyramids and all things good on Earth and beyond.
DrMonkey:
One honest and deliberate man is worth ten pretending to be what they wish to be :)
TedDBayer:
If you look at Canadas visa site, it implies that marriage visas are processed in about 6 to 8 months. Any man I've talked to at home with an Asian wife told me the visa took over 3 years and felt the process was there to make them give up. I really don't think it's our governments place to worry if the marriage is real or will last just because it's immigration. I could meet and marry a skank in one day at home without her being interiewed. What FBS. Try your visa now, 3 years is up
Well, look at it fro her perspective. The guy probably makes more in a day than some Chinese men make in a month. She was making an economic decision. Aren't Chinese women known for having an agenda in almost everthing?
Well, look at it fro her perspective. The guy probably makes more in a day than some Chinese men make in a month. She was making an economic decision. Aren't Chinese women known for having an agenda in almost everthing?
I don't mind if a girl wants to go abroad and I don't mind if she says she will make the effort and backs it up. Problem is, I have seen many a girl get to USA and then choose to have an Asian lover and break the marriage, costing the green card sponsor lots of money and leaving him with his prick in his hands and broken heart. For this kind of girl, and there are many, I wish there were a law in other countries that says that unless the husband has been unfaithful, abusive, or not supportive of her, if she intends to take a lover she must reimburse the total fees of green card in full, plus any other expenses, such as plane tickets, food, shelter, insurances, normal life expenses, cars, houses, whatever the man sacrificed for the good of bringing her over, or she must be deported and stripped of her rights to remain in said country.
they may have a problem with immigration, ive done this twice in america, after you arrive, the initial interview and appointment for the work card are scheduled, if you cant speak chinese and the spouse cant speak english, they can say the marriage is a scam and throw her ass out right then, someone needs to become bilingual pretty fast, the only way around this is some cities with lots of immigrants have to many appointments and the beaurocrat does not check the couple out very well at the interview to get his quota in for the day, the states with low immigrate numbers do a thorough interview because they have nothing else to do. immigrating to california or new york would take longer for the interview to actually get scheduled, in montana or new hampshire, the interviews could happen in 2 months instead of 6months.
