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Q: How would you off your MIL?
This is of course hypothetical, did you ever give this any thought ?
I believe the Japanese had a custom at some point of ditching old relatives into volcanoes when they became a burden.
... Murder fantasies?
Please tell me this is a troll question. Even as a hypothetical, that's messed up. I'm sure that we all get the occasional urge to murder people who annoy us, but we don't discuss that.
Scandinavian:
"even if it is hypothetical".... so you failed to read the question, that is a downvote for you too then :)
I am downvoting this question because it is jacked up.
I think probably the best way would be to take her on a hike, and as she is peeing in the bushes you run like hell. You couldnt be tried for murder. Is there a law against leaving someone in the forrest? Yes, they might survive and live to tell the world of your horrible deeds. But most Chinese I have met couldnt find their way home if you took them onto the balcony and spun them around 3 times.
Plus you could use those lack of navigation skills as an excuse for not being able to help the "search party".
Fortunately , i dont see any hikes in my near future. My MIL doesnt live near us, loves me and completely stays out of our business. My wife never complains to her, and even if she did her reply would be along the lines of. " Is mike home yet? Did you eat? Ok , talk soon"
Its a blessed life.
Having a BMILD ? (Bad MIL Day)
My own MIL is a cute little woman, very caring yet not invasive, just a bit loud at times... we visit her times to times and it we have a good relationship. I guess you are living with the MIL, from your previous posts. She sounds like a though one. I think the only way for you to get some personal space without family drama and no face loss for anybody would be just moving somewhere else.
Scandinavian:
There are so few GMILDs in my life. She is an endless source of garbage. Can't cook, can't clean, can't shut up about how everyone else is bad at cooking and cleaning.
My mother in law is nice. The only times I get annoyed with her is when she doesn't stick up for herself. I guess her mother in law was so bad that her spirit was completely broken.
This'll work for you Scan and it won't be too difficult...simply get her real pissed on baiju and then bundle her into a bus that's headed for Ningxia. And matey, let me tell you, there's no coming back from there. In fact, she'll probably strike up a conversation with an interesting farmer and be happy to lob wherever the bus finally stops.
This situation is normal in China ,there are always some problems between the young couples and their MIL,many TV series are made about this ,maybe Living apart is the best way to solve the problems
This situation is normal in China ,there are always some problems between the young couples and their MIL,many TV series are made about this ,maybe Living apart is the best way to solve the problems
ice in her water?
Scandinavian:
but "ice" causes (unspecified) "problems" that might not lead to death, of course it is a start :)
I like my MIL, she is a nice woman and doesn't really command people to do things. I wouldn't off her... there are a couple family members I may consider doing that to but overall my in-laws are pretty decent people.
I got lucky... the only time they ever asked for anything was when my Father-in-Law needed a loan to help get my Brother-in-Law married. Even then, I could have refused and he didn't even really ask... My wife just found out and we offered because he is a good guy too and I know he works hard. They are from the rural community so earning money is just harder for them.
Scan has asked a good question here. When I first saw it this afternoon, I admit I thought WTF. But now I have thought about it. Well, I see it differently.
I have had a bit of a BCD. I have been tired today because of the 6 day week this week. And of course, on the day I just want to stay in bed... I have a busy schedule. I have been tired and subdued, which has resulted in every Chen, Zhen, and Harry giving me advice on how to take care of myself and live to be 600 years old.
The advice I was given today is too stupid and inane to list here. Instead I will condense the advice gathered over a few years of being here. You have all heard these.
Go to bed early, or you will die.
Don't eat instant noodles too often, or you will die.
Open the window in winter, or you will die.
Don't drink so much, or you will die. Actually, I will give them that one.
Don't eat crisps, you will die of mouth cancer.
Don't eat red meat in summer, your ying and yang will go wrong. Almost instant death.
Eat cat or dog in winter, You will live forever.
We have all been given these nuggets of advice. But then what do I see? I head out from the factory to have lunch in McD's, because I have a hungry death wish. On the way I see an ebike under a van. Wow look. Some dude has probably died because he shot out of a side road without looking and rammed himself straight under the wheels of something bigger and faster. There is confusion all round as to how such a thing could possibly have happened.
So, to answer Scans question.... buy her an ebike. And just to be sure, close the windows in winter 
The point of my rant? Why does this culture look to the far future easily, but it has no concept of instant risk assesment, and what might happen in the immediate future?
In my opinion, I think Scan's question is totally valid. Maybe the only way people can learn not to do really stupid things is to have to deal first hand with the consequences of other peoples stupid behaviour. If his MIL throws herself and her shiny " My son in law bought me this",new ebike under a lorry, maybe his wife will learn to look to see if a lorry is coming.
Scandinavian:
Hey, my MIL has just 5 mins ago told me I was cutting an apple for my wife wrong..... I pointed out she has teeth, can chew AND, if she is not happy with my cutting skills, can even complain about it herself.
Probably with my bare hands, seeing as it almost happened once.
The saddest thing is I'm not joking.
Put a Scorpion in her shoe. 
Yellow fat-tail scorpion/Androctonus australis
(Photo credit: ajsaguyod / Foter.com / CC BY-ND)
- Geographic range: North Africa and southeast Asia
- Description: The yellow fat-tailed scorpion is a hardy species that have particularly large stingers and potent venom that has been compared to that of the black mamba snake.
Hasn't she got a place of her own? Why is she living with you? Is it a permanent arrangement? If so, can you get out of it? If not, then, indeed...have her offed.
Or get her her own little apartment...how much would that be... around 1500/mth? Methinks that would be money well spent.
Does your wife like having her around to cramp everyone's style? If so, then the problem is real big. In that case you might have to off the both of them.
Life's too short to have to live with a useless, nagging arsehole.
You have my sympathies.
Scandinavian:
my MIL has a pretty nice place, in some ways nicer than our place, yet she comes by all the time, uninvited and unannounced. when she is not physically there, she is calling my wife pretty much all the time. what she needs is a life of her own
royceH:
Yes, or in the absence of that, her current one snuffed out. And here we are back to paragraph one...
Can you not just tell your wife that the old bag is unwelcome and it's your marriage and not hers? Hell man, you've gotta move away.
