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Q: Question for parents with Chinese in-laws
This question is for the parents here who are married to a Chinese person and who are living in China: How do you and your spouse regulate your children's exposure to your in-laws, and do you trust them not to say or do anything harmful or manipulative to your children? To wit, do you fear that any one of them might say such things to your kids as, "Your parents don't love you as much as I do;" "you're a bad child;" "you're ugly, and you're ugly because you're mixed;" "it's okay to cheat?" Do you wonder whether any of them might try to turn your kids against you for their own benefits? In other posts, some of you already established that they're willing to turn your spouses against you. Would you let your children spend the week with them away from you? If your MIL and FIL have other grandchildren, do you ever feel as though they treat your children less favorably? Where do you draw the line? And, how and when did you break the news to them that a line would be drawn in the first place? How did they take it?
9 years 26 weeks ago in Family & Kids - China
Lots of questions there.
We have a toddler, and our MIL lives with us.
I don't see anyone trying to manipulate her. They want her to be safe and enjoy life.
My wife's brother has a daughter a year older than ours. So my MIL and FIL have 2 grandkids. They treat them both the same.
The only problem I have is with teaching our daughter general awareness. Crossing the road for example. No matter how small the road, I am teaching my daughter to stop, look, and listen. She is starting to understand. But MIL and FIL more often than not just cross small roads without looking. Or step onto the road first then look second.
Or putting rubbish in the bin. My daughter was good at this, but now she is trying to copy what she sees around her.
Just need to keep at it 
.
things with my MIL are fine. more skeptical of TCM, hospitals, the baby hat has come off, no whistle-squatting to pee,and i haven't heard a single issue of people complaining to her that our boys wear diapers on warm summer days. she's thinking straight, less susceptible to the overwhelming peerpressure, putting the baby's interests first, and showing lots more playful affection than your average MIL would (perhaps from my example). she bears grandmotherhood well.
the FIL is a different story completely, but even he does little things now and again.
my advice: give your MIL time to observe your style of childcare, and let her witness the results of an emergent switched-on mind. it should combat most of the misconceptions and biased she operates under. unless she actually believes western values will encourage your child (her retirement bundle) to leave her in China. such ideas are best addressed with guarantees, i'd think.
Chinese grandparents adore their grandchild(children if they are lucky), you have nothing to worry about, well maybe only the ways they take care of your kid is something you should closely follow. Fow example you should pay attention to a diet your kid is on while at their place. Mostly the kid will suffer phrase "多吃一点“， they believe it is the more - the better, it is also common for them to feed the kid with an inappropriate food like broth with 4 cm of oil/fat on top of it or unsufferable amount of fried food. I dont think you should be concerned with their attitude but of course that depends on your in-laws.
What you need to make up in your head is. Do I want my children to be raised by us (you and your wife) or by her parents. If the answer is "by her parents" then start using condoms, you shouldn't have children. Scots has a problem. His kid is at risk of getting run over. I would never allow my MIL out with the offspring if she couldn't handle basic precautions to avoid injury. (and I kind of doubt she can) Coin, well, maybe he is lucky, or blind to the fact that despite what happens in front of him, all the crap goes on when he leaves the room. I'mAWumao: Seems you have stock in a company that produces insulin. As a fun fact. Me as a Scandinavian, when I have discussed "how is China" with people back home, things like healthcare, education, child-rearing, views on drunk driving etc. The conclusion is always "That is just like here <number between 50-100> years ago. Sure it is possible to raise children "the Chinese way". But the child is off to a poor start. Despite all the tigermoms, the first 2 years of a childs life in China does nothing to build physical and mental capabilities, quite the opposite.
expatlife26:
Don't joke about wumaos...if they get banned they face a firing squad.
We bailed. The MIL (not such a bitch anymore) and FIL (always been an awesome guy) just QQ webcam chat with us.
Hulk:
We left them, yes. We were never really "together" to begin with, and when we tried it, the MIL did a lot of stupid shit that pissed me off.
You're grown-ass adults, it's time to go elsewhere and look for work once you get married. But don't marry a woman who isn't on board with you.
