Wow vicky, you have outdone yourself on this one.

Answer : YES. leave him

i will use short sentences so you can understand clearly

1) don't EVER get involved with someone who uses illegal drugs - simple.

    no exceptions - ever.

2) you can not change him if he doesn't want to change.

    Guy's don't like girls who want to change them.

3) if you nag him about stopping, things could get nasty - fast

   don't ever nag a bf anyway, he won't find it attractive.

   It never works.

4) he has lied to you - he probably won't change

5) you have no idea what sort of people he is involved with - they are not nice people

6) if you stay with him, you have only yourself to blame if anything bad happens to you 

the most obvious thing is, what he is doing is illegal

it is a no-brainer

EDIT: Don't try emotional blackmail either: "if you love me you wouldn't take drugs" It shows lack of maturity.

It seems you bf is an addict.  If not, he is on his way to being one.  This means, drugs will be the most important thing in his life.  More important than his job, more important than his health, and more important than you.  Do you think you can deal with that?  I can't answer your question.  You must answer it for yourself.

Yeah. Get shot of him now.

It's a nasty substance that destroys communities. 

He is beyond amature help. He needs professional help. And I doubt very much if he will get it here.

Run away as fast as you can. Don't let him drag you into the abyss.

Do not be with anyone that uses drugs, you could get very big trouble from the police.

First things first.

You don't smoke heroin. You inject it. If he's using needles, you're likely HIV positive already and will soon die. Get yourself checked for HIV/AIDS (艾滋病) 6 months after breaking up with him, and do not have sex with anyone else.

He's probably smoking pot, which is nowhere near as dangerous as heroin. But yes, you should break up with him and get tested for HIV. You know, I kept offering to impregnate you for a green card so you could come to America and find yourself a better guy, but you just keep getting involved with one crazy motherfucker after another, WTF.

Stop going after the lowest common denominator, you dumb fucking cunt. You keep going to burger king, hostels, bars and nightclubs, but those are the worst possible places to find a partner, even in America.

I'm being harsh because you're fucking stupid and you never seem to learn from your mistakes. You need to fucking learn your lesson and stop being a dumb monkey cunt, or you're eventually going to kill yourself with bad decisions... if you haven't already contracted AIDS (艾滋病) from him.

I'm being harsh because, believe it or not Vicky, I actually care about you. I don't want you to keep getting hurt. I don't want you to get diseased. I don't want you to keep making bad decisions that hurt you. I want you to have the life you dream of... I want everyone to achieve their good dreams.

Dump him and get tested.

Don't come back to this site making excuses for your bf.

he is an adult and knows what he is doing, and knows it is wrong but not making an effort to change.

If this is the same guy who has been borrowing money from you and is looking for a job that pays 20,000 a month (i am referring to your previous posts below which i include because in the past you have had problems remembering what you wrote), you are enabling his habit.

http://answers.echinacities.com/question/how-deal-my-date

http://answers.echinacities.com/question/which-sites-can-i-find-english-...

chances are he is only with you because you pay for his food and possibly sleeping with him. He was probably a drug user in America and one reason he is in China could be because it is easier for him to support his habit.

Whatever way you look at it, he has a weak character and probably won't change.

If you stay with him you could, as other posters say, be infected with a nasty disease.

Worst possible outcome for continuing the relationship is that you die through associating with his drug pushers or become a user yourself because you don't have the will-power to refuse. He might even pressure you into prostitution to support his habit.

For the sake of your own health and life - leave him immediately.

I am surprised it took you so long even to reach this step.

Do not ignore any of the advice this time

Are you sure it's heroin, and not cannabis ? Heroin is most often injected with a seringue, while cannabis is mostly smoked (but some just eat it, more potent, less after-effect). Heroin is much worse than cannabis, but cannabis usage *can* be a symptom of a deeper problem. The "I loan money from everybody and never pay back" is typical of an addict. As everyone is trying to tell you, it can't end well.

Cannabis have a very characteristic smell, it's either dry leaves (greenish grey) or a thick, plastic-like paste (dark brown). Usually, you mix it with tobacco and roll it as a self-made cigarette.

Heroin => Expensive, very addictive (if you quite, you spend a long time with a lot of pain, hallucinations, and so on), and it's very destructive. You are unlikely to do help him much about it, he need professional help. To quit requires a very strong will. Because of the common unclean seringue usage, you better get tested for AIDS and don't have sex with anybody, to avoid an eventual transmission to somebody else.

Cannabis => Probably expensive in Shanghai, less addictive than alcohol and about as destructive as alcohol. Is fairly easy to quit, easier than quitting tobacco. If he doesn't quit, it's just because he don't give much a damn. It have many names, like "weed", "pot", etc.

Get the hell away from this loser right now. You have been here many times Vicky asking for advice and receiving good advice from many people but for what ever reason, and I suspect I know the reasons, you choose to ignore it and go onto insult those people with whom you disagree. As I have told you before when you open up to people on a forum like this you will get opinions you do not like and when you resort to insulting people we will hit back hard.

Please do yourself a favour and LISTEN this time. DUMP THIS PIECE OF TRASH IMMEDIATELY. If you don't know why I used capitals it is to indicate shouting. I want you to listen and act on it. No-one deserves the life this loser will, and maybe already has, put you through. For the future don't post anonymously, we all recognise you by your style of writing.

LOL, anonymous Vicky.

I hate to say "I told you so", but remember when I gave you some advice about relationships?  I'll say it again,  any man who is willing to accept you as you are now (NOW, not the girl you can be!) is trouble for you.  If you insist on taking the shortcut and start hunting for men before you are ready, you can expect many more relationships like this.  If you decide to leave this guy, take some time to look at yourself - not as you see yourself, but as others see you.  If you want a good man, you need to have the qualities that they are interested in.  You need to develop them.  As you are now, you will only attract losers like your bf.  Of course you have been ignoring advice until now, so maybe hard experience will teach you and you will survive before it's too late.

Dump him. Staying with him is only enabling his behaviour, you're hurting yourself and him. You'll never change him. Get out of there, now. 

no dont dump him follow your heart dont let the world take away your soulmate THIS IS TRUE LOVE

vicky!! are you alien?

Ask him to marry you. It is clear you are looking for a visa.

Get away from that person right now!!!!

Idiot.

Better than those Korean soaps.

He's not gonna stop.

All of my brothers and sisters, aside from 1 younger sister, are fucking drug addicts and/or drunks. They've been like that for 15-20+ years, and they aren't going to stop now. I've seen this same behavior time and time again.

They get involved with someone who actually thinks they can help them, but in the end, the person they're involved with gives up and leaves, or becomes addicted themselves.

Drug addicts need to hit rock bottom. By staying with him, you're enabling him. And for goodness sake, get tested for diseases.

It doesn't matter if it was my mother or father, or anyone. I will not stay around a drug addict. You know what we're doing? We're leaving. We aren't going to stay around these drug-addicted lunatics. We are going thousands of miles away, and we aren't coming back.

this guy lied to you

he took your money and now he is leaving you in 2 weeks time.

How could you still be willing to believe him?

you won't see or hear from him again when he finds another girl and uses her too.

I sincerely hope you did not sleep with him, and you call us cold people?

You are just incredibly naive because you have no idea about the world he is involved in and there is NOTHING you can do for this guy.

He caused his own problems and is not willing to fix them - if you continue associating with him you are in danger of being dragged into his world of drugs and worse.

This guy is, as you told us, 37 years old.

He won't change, and he certainly won't listen to a 27 year old.

Some posters have had first-hand experience of family members having similar problems, yet you ignore them.

Why do you keep coming here with problems and ignore the very good advice?

This is a serious issue, yet you have failed to show you understand how serious it is.

do you think a few emails will fix it?

You have failed to show that you have even considered the information given that could save your health and possibly change your life in a positive way.

Tell me, why should posters here bother with you any more?

You don't engage in any meaningful debate at all and repeat the same behavior over and over.

Is his name Daniel Scott?  Is he a sociopath?  Is he always running away?

Dear Victoria,

in your own words about your current bf in this post - see the question above at the top of the page:

".I asked him who was he calling.He lied that was his friend.But I did not believe and kept asking him then he told it was the drug dealer he was calling to."

regarding taking your money:

please see your post:

http://answers.echinacities.com/question/how-deal-my-date

again, your own words in this post:

"When I was visiting him twice,I found some of my money were gone.I asked him if he saw my money at the first time.He told he found my 50rmb around the sofa latter.And soon he wasted my 50rmb and he told he would pay it back when he got salary.

Second time,when I found my money was gone.I asked him diectly if he stole it.He said no."

regarding taking illegal drugs: I would never be so stupid.

I know you don't come here for advice, just to hear your point of view accepted and validated

BUT listen to the other posters above

for the sake of your health, get an AIDS /Hep C/STD tests done

not to do this would possibly be suicidal.

edited. No point, I read some of your older posts.

Let me get this straight Victoria: 

1) according to what you write, your bf is happy for you to call him a bad manager, a money waster and drug addict:

Guys, would you like your wife/gf to say such things about you in public to strangers while trying to solve very personal problems?

2) it is ok for you to call your bf a waster, drug addict and a bad manager on a public forum, because to use your own words:"...it is happening and it is the fact.My bf himself agree with the fact"

So these things you wrote about your bf are all true (facts) according to you, but no-one else can use your own words (repeat facts)?

How is that even logical?

can anyone explain?

3) "for things not sure, I just guess it without making a judgement" (your words)

According to your logic, you have judged me and the other posters because you are not basing your words on facts: that is you have no evidence that what you write is true, you are just 'making a guess' about us.

however, to judge someone/something is to give an opinion.

So are you saying it is ok for you to have an opinion about someone/something, but not anyone else?

4) you clearly accept some of the things other posters have written about you on this thread because you have not commented on them.

what i have written in mild in comparison, so could it be that what other posters say about you is true?

5) to get back to your original question about your bf's drug habit, 

you don't want to hear anything that won't match your ideas, even though they are meant with the best intentions and personal experience (see Hulk's comments)

your comments will make me laugh all day, so thanks for that

May your classic logic and comments continue to entertain us all for a long time to come. 

I'm marking exam papers at the moment, so this is a diversion.

Sorrel dear... the bf is addicted to heroin, just as much as Victoria is addicted to drama.

And, like Vicky on the bf, you've got no chance of making an impression on her to any way that you want.

People need a reason to change. Advice is never that reason. Words on a page are not that reason. People would rather die than change.

As Hulk said, first you've got to hit rock bottom... it's only from there that you can push yourself up... otherwise, you bring down (and often drown) the people trying to hold you up.

There are over 7 billion people on this planet at the moment... you can't save all of them! I suggest, put your efforts into those who actually want help!

It might be sad, but that's the way life is!